Toby Keith Banned Guns From His New Restaurant, Is A Gotdamn Terrorist

December 30th, 2013 // 97 Comments
Toby Keith
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Toby Keith has been an outspoken supporter of the NRA, but he’s also a business owner who has to deal with facts and realities like letting people carry live weapons into a fucking bar will raise his liability insurance through the roof. So he issued what seemed like a pretty common sense statement on the restaurant’s Facebook page:

While we understand and respect every person’s right to own and bear arms, we at Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill, with guidance from the State of Virginia and based on insurance regulations, have adopted a no weapons policy. It is our desire to provided a safe, enjoyable and entertaining experience for our patrons and staff.

Fortunately, we live in a country where citizens are educated and informed enough to know that Toby Keith has the right as a business owner to operate his restaurant as he sees fit. Plus it’s not like people are going to be freaking out because they honestly believe they’ll need to draw in the middle of their Bull Rider Steak Sandwich while buzzed off a bucket of Buds. That’d be ridiculous, right?

That did little to quell the ire of gun owners, one whom responded to the restaurant’s Facebook message by saying, “Your post regarding your stance on not allowing patrons to defend them selves should the need arise is a total cop out to the bad publicity that your bad policy has initiated.”

Okay, so maybe there are some pissed off people. But what makes this country so great is that Big Government can’t just come in and tell Toby Keith how to run his gotdamn business. That’s how Nazi Germany started, and brother, I ain’t having it.

But gun owners may actually be legally allowed to carry loaded weapons in Keith’s restaurant under Virginia law, irrespective of what the sign says. Virginia is one of at least six states — the others being Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, and Arizona — that explicitly allows loaded guns in bars. “No Guns Permitted” signs don’t actually have the force of law in Virginia unless the state specifically lists the facility as one where people cannot carry guns.

Oh, so what? These commie pinko gun owners want the government to act like some sort of nanny who gets to tell Toby Keith how to run his business? Did I seriously just read that? Because where will it end with these teat-suckers? We all have to worship the same God? Observe the same holidays? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO FREEDOM??!

Photo: Getty

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  1. whoami

    “But gun owners may actually be legally allowed to carry loaded weapons in Keith’s restaurant under Virginia law, irrespective of what the sign says. Virginia is one of at least six states — the others being Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, and Arizona — that explicitly allows loaded guns in bars. “No Guns Permitted” signs don’t actually have the force of law in Virginia unless the state specifically lists the facility as one where people cannot carry guns.”

    That’s complete bullshit, it’s trespassing if you break a precondition of coming on someone’s property, e.g., if the business says “no guns”, and you break a gun in, you’re trespassing.

    • Where I live all they can do is ask you to leave their establishment. It only becomes trespassing if you refuse. Even then, our local agencies just don’t enforce trespassing unless it is documented chronic problem (ie. homeless guy, or creepy ex boyfriend.

      • But if the business owner calls the cops, the cops will escort the trespasser off the premises. If the person refuses to leave peacefully, the cops will tag him with a resisting arrest / assault on a law enforcement officer charge, throw in a disorderly persons & a trespassing charge.
        “These commie pinko gun owners want the government to act like some sort of nanny who gets to tell Toby Keith how to run his business? Did I seriously just read that? Because where will it end with these teat-suckers?”
        No, Fish, the law that specifically permits gun owners to carry their firearms even in bars is not designed to preclude private businesses from being allowed to run their businesses as they see fit, it is designed to ensure they can do exactly that – by preempting municipal / county laws that would circumscribe the right to concealed carry granted under the State law, and leaving the decision to the individual business owner, exactly as in this story.

    • I know this isn’t a direct correlation, but what about government banning smoking in establishments? I think proprietors should have the right to ban guns AND allow smoking. Has anyone looked into this law, anyway. I kinda think it’s paraphrased incorrectly. So far, with minimal searching, mind you, all I’ve found is this.

      Along with signs available for printing, the center states that “you have every right to refuse access and or services to individuals carrying firearms — concealed or not. This doesn’t mean that you’re questioning gun carriers’ rights. It only means that you don’t want guns around your customers and are asserting your private property rights in order to provide a safe environment.”

      • And this.

        C. The granting of a concealed handgun permit pursuant to this article shall not thereby authorize the possession of any handgun or other weapon on property or in places where such possession is otherwise prohibited by law or is prohibited by the owner of private property.

      • OK, calling bullshit. Looks like there used to be bans on carrying guns into bars based on the “drinking and shooting” don’t mix logic. The laws were overturned and patrons were allowed to take weapons into bars again. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t “explicitly allow” guns in the sense that Toby can’t make the decision to keep them out of his own business.

    • It’s ok to ban the legally conceal carry patron with a couple of exceptions: 1) if he or she is Gay, said proprietor can not refuse access to their premises while carrying a concealed weapon, hence the unstable gay person will become upset and file a lawsuit claiming discrimination 2)If you are black and are carrying a weapon one must represent as a son of Obama and wear a hoodie while carrying. All true, look it up http://www.youfuckingliberaldipshit.net

      • And it’s always ok for the government to intrude on private property rights and force businesses to comply with the liberal agenda, ie: can not refuse accommodations based on race, sexual orientation, religion, or disabilities, but the corner bar can ban me from strutting in like Frito Bandito with rifles and ammo belts strung over my shoulders? What happens if my steak isn’t done right, or the server forgets the sour cream for my baked potato? This is why I need my guns in the restaurant!

  2. You just never know when someone is going to confront you with a loaded baked potato.

    • Mitch

      Or a lunatic with a gun like what happened in a Texas Luby’s years ago.

      Responsible, law abiding gun owners should not be treated like criminals. If you don’t like guns, fine, don’t own one but don’t force your intolerance on others.

      • I do believe it is Mr. Keith who made this rule that is infuriating you, not me. And just because an antiquated right exists that, let’s be real, was written to keep a civilian militia outfitted because after the Revolution there was no real standing army or armed police force to speak of, that doesn’t mean you have the right to bring your it into my house. Or my business. You see, that’s where gun owners go off the rail. They insist that their right to own trumps my right to have a gun free establishment. It doesn’t. You don’t feel safe going to a gun-free restaurant? Move on down the line to the next steakhouse that doesn’t care. That, my friend, it what freedom is all about.

      • Damn… *that doesn’t mean you have the right to bring your gun into my house.*

      • Militia members brought their personal firearms. The “well regulated” militia needed a command structure and meeting places in case of war.

      • True. The right to bear arms was meant for that very purpose. Bring your own gun in the event a foreign military or civil threat was possible.

      • Rubik's Doob

        You love your gun. You love your gun more that life itself. Prove it.

      • It was proven at Lexington and Concord when the Massachusetts militia fought the British. The British attempted to seize weapon and supply stashes. Citizens said no with guns. It’s also proven everyday when cops say drop the gun and people don’t.

      • Big Gun =Small Penis

        What was proven at Lexington is that a rag tag militia is no match for professional soldiers. The rebels got shot up pretty damn badly that day. Now, to your point, McPoyle, yes, the militia did bring their own guns and, yes, the British regulars were there to confiscate the powder and shot stored in that town. I’m not sure, however, how that justifies any civilian owning an AR-15. You ain’t in no militia, that’s for damn sure and the 2nd Amendment is very specific about that being the reason you should own your own gun.

      • Actually, the casualties the militia inflicted upon Gage sent him packing back to Boston and bottled him up. Gage ended up surrounded in Boston by armed civilians. But hey, I’m sure you know all that.

        The second amendment doesn’t provide a reason for owning a firearm. I was illustrating that private ownership of firearms is implied in the reference to militias because the OP stated that the militia existed to outfit the civilians, which of course the militia did not outfit the civilians. As you noted, the civilians brought their own firearms. The rest of the stuff you just made up in your head.

      • You misinterpret the language of the amendment – the comma is the key – it separates the 2 clauses – the first, ‘a well regulated militia . . ” concedes that yes, the government by necessity must maintain a standing army for the defense of the nation. As in all other aspects of our form of government which relies on checks and balances to maintain balance, the clause then states that the citizens are acknowledged to have a right to keep and bear arms, as counter to the power of the government to maintain an armed force of its own. The purpose of the second amendment is to acknowledge that there must be a right of the people to maintain a reasonable means of defending themselves against a potentially tyrannical (and heavily armed) government. Otherwise, is all it was meant to do is acknowledge the right of the government to form and maintain an army, that’s what it would say.

      • JimBB

        “Or a lunatic with a gun like what happened in a Texas Luby’s years ago.”

        All I can say is, I’ve been in a lot of bars in my life. I’ve never once been in one where a nutcase walked in and started shooting up the place. I have, however, been in a quite a few where fights have broken out.

        Fortunately, with one VERY UGLY exception, none of the people in those fights had guns on them at the time. I cringe to think about every drunk asshole in every bar carrying, because I know what that would look like. And it’s one thing to wake up in jail because you got into a fist-fight the night before, it’s quite another to wake up with a murder charge (or dead).

      • It is almost always a condition of your concealed weapons permit that you can have zero alcohol in your system, bar or not. Your fears are exaggerated and you’re far more likely to be killed driving to or from the bar. It should be up to the bar. Then you can choose to patronize the bar that caters to your level of fear. Personally, I like my bars to be suicide vest only.

      • I just noticed you used the term “antiquated rights.” haha

      • Yeah, waking up dead can be highly inconvenient, especially for your brain-bearing cellmates.

      • Bryan

        This very article mentions that concealed carry in bars is legal. That means people have been doing it, carrying guns concealed into bars. Can you find all the news stories about the bar fights that turn into triple-homicide shootouts? Oh, that’s right, you can’t, because it’s another terrified, hysterical fantasy “BLOOD IN THE STREETS” scenario that antis love. Remember how in the 80s/90s just simple *concealed carry* was going to lead to shootouts over parking spots across the country? These things aren’t hypotheticals, we can actually look at reality in 2013 and see how utterly wrong you are.

      • Dox

        Statistically speaking you see the greatest rise in the 19-24 male bracket of handgun related homicides during the 1980′s. The greatest number represented was in the lower economic latino/black community, and is generally attributed to the introduction of crack cocaine into our society. (The last is empirically stated to the best of my knowledge.)

        At any rate, you actually see a drop in firearm related homicides in 1993, however, not to pre 1980′s days. Also, an interesting bit of information is that, while we have a significantly higher gun related death per citizen than say the UK (which has rather draconian laws about firearms.), Germany actually has a lower rate near the UK even though it has the third highest gun per citizen ratio.

        Basically, what that says is… Guns probably aren’t the problem. People are. Less focus on taking away guns, more focus on producing intelligent, educated, well rounded, emotionally balanced citizens would probably cause a dramatic change in our homicide related deaths.

        Of course, that would require revamping our educational system, providing access for everyone to healthcare (do you really want unmedicated people with mental illness being denied access to the treatments they need in order to become…. well… stable?)

        So yeah. By all means. Focus on the guns. Why fix the real problems?

      • You obviously haven’t travelled outside the USA much, or at all.

        Ever been in a Swedish bar or a British pub at closing time? It’s a bunch of rowdies and people settle things with their fists.

        Know why nobody gets shot? Because our governments have strict laws to keep handguns (easily concealed weapons) out of the hands of drunken fools and criminals.

        Swedes and Brits, in my experience, are more belligerent and violent than your average American (Americans are big talkers but wimps when you scratch their surface) but yet it’s the USA that has the high rate of gun violence.

        By the way, in the time it took me to type this, another person or maybe two in the USA were murdered by someone using a handgun. Happy Goddamned New Year.

      • Dox

        Actually, I was born in Germany and spent a lot of years growing up abroad. However, in the case of the numbers I was discussing, I was pointing out that Germany has a large firearm per person ratio, and yet has less gun violence than the United States… along the rates of the UK which has strict hand gun limitations on the general public.

        Furthermore, I get that senseless violence occurs. I furthermore, understand the desire to attempt to limit access to dangerous materials. I simply don’t think it would work. The problem is deeper than access. While our system of checks on firearms could use an overhaul, simply banning firearms will not solve the problem.

        If you truly believe that is a viable solution, then I think you might be missing the problem with our society and culture.

        Incidentally, Heart Disease kills someone every 34 seconds in America. Drunk Driving kills someone every 39 minutes. Someone dies in a hospital from lethal infection or medical error every 6 minutes, regular old traffic accidents every 12 minutes, death by fall every 31 minutes….

        So yeah, merry fucking new year… and welcome to life.
        It tends to be terminal.

      • harriscandit

        I think you seriously have to look up the term intolerance. Fortunately I live in a gun free city. Have yet to be robbed, raped or even pushed around. You see I can defend myself just fine as long as the other person does not have a gun. Logic it’s fun.

      • “I can defend myself just fine as long as the other person does not have a gun.”
        great – now sign your mom up for judo classes, and get all the bad guys to pledge they won’t use guns to commit crimes, and we can all go toss our pistols in the river.

      • Dox

        Uh…. Harris…. I’m not one to cockblock a persons…. thought processes, but there’s some serious disconnect in your logic processes.

        It assumes that those who are willing to commit a crime will follow gun laws. Since you have, on average, at least 1 gun per citizen of this country, putting the “genie back in the bottle” is a somewhat unrealistic viewpoint. You wont get rid of firearms, and you wont limit access to the criminal element. Furthermore, if a person is willing to commit robbery, why would a gun violation be a problem for them? Actually, with current laws in place, they can have a legally owned firearm, and if its used in crime, it still carries a charge or two. (which can take on decades of jail time.)

        So no, your logic doesn’t really work there. The simple fact is, that most people are willing to live by the social compact, and thus we have an element of individuals that perpetrate gun violence, but not the majority. IE: We do not live in a free fire zone. Well…. mostly we don’t.

        So I fail to see the flow of your logic. How exactly will disallowing citizens to legally purchase firearms stop those that act in an illegal manner from obtaining them, and using them?

      • You said “logic” when you meant to say “luck.”

  3. It’s an insurance issue. hahahahahaha.

    • Dox

      Uh. Actually for most clubs and bars, insurance is a serious issue. I mentioned working for Dre’s as medical standby. They did that to lower their insurance premiums dramatically. So yes, even posting a sign that states no weapons allowed, can drastically lower your insurance premiums.

      Just sayin. Not as laughable as you might think. Those premiums get high. Quickly.

      • You are correct. A cost analysis of insurance costs for bars and restaurants show that just a few “bar fights” will raise insurance costs so high that the business can go bankrupt from the increase. Bars pay high premiums to begin with but those premiums can go lower over time *if* the bar can establish a long history of no fights etc.

        Ever wonder why bars go to the expense of hiring bouncers? The bouncers are a kind of insurance and help save money in the long term.

      • I understand all of that. I worked as an armed guard for places that used the service to drive down insurance premiums. Places so violent they needed ten guards, not one. It was about insurance, not safety.

        I was laughing because the issue is painted as a political one when in this case it is clearly economic.

  4. hi frnds now u look for u bam80 com

  5. renotastic

    Next he’ll be putting up a fucking cactus menorah in the lobby!

  6. GuncarryinglawyerinVA

    The law in VA is the same regarding guns as it is shirts. That is, if you want to ban shirtless patrons, you can have a sign, but if someone comes in anyway, you have to ask (tell) them to leave – if they don’t they can be charged with trespass.

    Some states have a sort of magic sign with respect to guns and if retail establishments have the sign, coming in with a gun is automatically a criminal act.

    So, right now prohibiting customers who carry guns is the same as prohibiting any other customer – some people want special rules for this prohibition – special treatment from the government for anti-gun establishments – that’s not the case in Virginia at present.

    As for explicitly allowing guns in “bars” – Virginia, like many other states doesn’t legally have “bars” – it has restaurants that serve alcohol. Think more Olive Garden than Roadhouse.

  7. JimBB

    I’d be nervous enough trying to relax and enjoy a drink around a bunch of pissed-off drunk rednecks WITHOUT them being armed to the teeth. And I sure as shit wouldn’t want to try to get liability insurance on a business where the gunfight at the OK Corral can break out at any minute because of a spilled drink and an drunk asshole having a bad day.

  8. Good thing he doesn’t have any restaurants here in Texas. After a meal, we grade it by firing off 1-6 shots into the ceiling.

  9. Hahaha! Rednecks are stupid.

  10. good thing his restaurant isnt in florida.
    i’d feel threatened if he tried to make me give up my gun before entering his place.
    making me starve is a threat to my well being.
    i’d have to stand my ground and shoot him.

    • Zimmerman Juror B37

      Just as long as your heart’s in the right place, you can murder anyone you want in Florida.

  11. Greg

    Uh, question: Why are you guys going to bars where fights breaking out are common and accepted behavior? I think that’s bizarre. If you’re going to a bar where with a high count of ‘drunk assholes’ that are itching to go because of an accidental ‘spilled drink’, then you might want to re-evaluate the places you’re spend your time at. Maybe go to classier places instead of dives? Food for thought.

    • JimBB

      Bars in the rural South aren’t exactly known for attracting the most elegant clientele. And, hey, gotta drink somewhere.

      • Greg

        Strange, I live in Cut N Shoot, Texas and frequent a rural bar and I’ve never seen a fist fight over spilled drinks, or drunk assholes. Now, when I go to the yuppie bars in Dallas or Houston, I find a ton of perfumed up douchebags getting drunk and fighting over who is more macho or better at going shirtless, I’ve seen this in New York, New Jersey, San Fran and Boston bars. The rural bars I’ve been to in OK, Texas, Tenn and Louisiana tend to have either ranchers, farmers,oil workers etc talking about the long hot day of work they’ve completed. It’s a rare occurrence that a fight breaks out, because everybody knows everybody and people who don’t get along with one another tend to avoid each other……food for thought

      • Those God-fearing salt of the earth rural Texas folk (redneck hicks) wouldn’t ever think of gittin’ in a fight!

      • I don’t live anywhere near Texas, but it does make sense that people who are legitimately exhausted from doing actual physical work in high temperatures would tend to get sleepier than fightier after a couple of drinks. Good point.

      • If it is so damn safe and everyone knows each other, then why do you need to carry guns around each other? Eh?

      • That’s why it’s safe – ‘an armed society is a polite society’. If every badass wannabe in the place understands that every other person in the place could kill them dead without getting off their barstool, they tend to let the spilled drinks / sideways glance at girlfriends etc just go without starting shit.

      • Name (Visible)

        Explain Canada then. Polite? Yes. Handguns? Nope. What’s their secret?

      • Eh, I’ve seen rural shit-kicker bars where fights break out as often as I’ve seen douchebag city bars where fights break out. You just gotta know the bars and which ones to avoid.

      • Dox

        I’ve always loved smaller towns vs a large city.
        I was stationed in Millington Tenn for a bit, used to go this bar… literally called The Hole in the Wall. Dinky little place, but the beer wasn’t watered, and you could drink with your friends in peace. Then of course, Memphis in May would roll around, and we would hit Beale Street.

        Almost always wound up having to sit through one or two muy macho studitos duking it out over some imagined slight.

      • Greg

        FYI, I think you might have watched Roadhouse too many times, remember that’s Hollywood’s take on the south. Gilley’s Club in Urban Cowboy was even grossly exaggerated in that movie.

    • You mean the classy joints where the bouncers are there to break up the fight before the second punch is thrown?

      I assume you’ve never been to a bar or club after midnight, on New Years Eve, St. Patrick’s Day, or on the evening of a full moon.

      Fights occur in direct relation to the amount of liquor that individuals consume not because of the atmosphere of the surroundings. Lots of people can afford to spend a lot on top shelf drinks in fancy joints, and some of them start throwing punches based on imagined slights at 3:00 in the morning.

      • Dox

        Reminds me of when I used to work medical standby at Dre’s. There was more than a few celebrities who have visited that place, and it does tend to cost a pretty penny to attend the late night festivities. One thing about the bouncers…. the minute a fight even looked like it was about to start, they made damn sure it ended.

        Wound up with a shit ton of overdose calls, but never any fights. Oh wait… I lied. There was one fight. A drunk woman decided I was trying to…. oh what’s the word I’m looking for…. take liberties with a patient, and attacked me. Unfortunately I was trying to start an IV at the time, and wound up shoving the needle all the way through my right thumb.

        So yeah. One fight. And I lost to a drunk chick.
        They revoked my man card after that.

    • If you’re the type of testosterone-fueled moron who feels naked without a gun at your side, it’s pretty much a given that you frequent bars where fights break out.

  12. Mohawk Disco

    Honestly, I would not be surprised if Virginia law didn’t prohibit carrying a weapon in a bar but would immediately hold the bar owner responsible if someone got shot there.

  13. Dude, its ALWAYS the OK Corral with gun fights that ruin bars because too much freedom and guns.

    • Dox

      Really… I thought it was watering the alcohol, ugly bartenders, and piss poor food that did most bars in….

      Oh wait… you were being…

      Right. Got it.

      Same wavelength now.

  14. Deina

    How fucking retarded. I can’t even verbalize my thoughts except how fucking retarded…

  15. What is funny is that in North Dallas/Southern Oklahoma where you would think they would be jerking off to guns, almost every business has large signs specifically prohibiting you from bringing guns into their businesses. In the more civilized parts of the country like the Midwest and the East Coast, there is not need to put those kinds of signs on your businesses.

    It is his goddamn restaurant, he has the right to tell you not to bring guns there, if you don’t like it, hop on your fucking horse and go somewhere else, that is your right too.

    • Cher X

      THIS!

      And to everyone who thinks they can’t go out to a meal without their gun, sorry about your small penis. No. I’m truly sorry.

  16. I think it’s pretty funny that most of the no gun supporters have this vivid visual of Rednecks getting in fights and having a shoot out at a bar, yet it doesnt happen, it’s ridiculous gay fantasies. On the other hand you stand outside any gangsta establishment after close and you better have a dumpster to duck into once all them ‘Legally’ obtained Uzi’s start goin off. That my friend is the real conveniently omitted reality. You all just keep your broomsticks and flashlights, the rest of us law abiding armed citizens will take care of business.

    • Oh give it a rest jr, the facts are out there and you and your law abiding citizens are more likely to shoot an innocent while taking care of business.
      The average accuracy of the average gun owner would be abysmal but that would be higher than what it actually is.

      • Dox

        Statistically speaking, Sunny is right. Even among law enforcement officials who train regularly, the average firearms fight takes place in extremely poor conditions with the average accuracy being somewhere down in the bottom of the percentage brackets.

        I don’t really say that in support of complete disarmament, but rather that you are more likely to miss and injure a bystander, than hit a target in a crowded, dark club.

        So be civilized. Take it outside. 10 paces with flintlocks. We really need to bring back the Code Duello.

      • Bryan

        The facts actually show that the police are more likely to hit bystanders, and for extra tragic comedy, shoot the wrong person intentionally, thinking it’s the perp. Remember that “shooting” in NYC several months ago where CNN was gleefully reporting about 10 people shot on a busy sidewalk? Dropped out of the news pretty fast when it turned out every one of them was a bystander hit by idiot cops. These are the same cops, btw, that antis insist are the only ones “qualified” to carry guns.

        You’re welcome to pull up articles detailing a self-defense shooting where the CHL holder hit bystanders. I’m sure it’s an epidemic that is crippling our very nation sense of safety and security.

      • Bryan

        Oh, and while I’m hear, imagine for a minute what you think the typical self-defense concealed carry shooting looks like. Did you imagine someone firing 1-2 shots at a perpetrator about 2-3 feet away, with few bystanders in the area? This is ignoring defense shootings at home or gas stations at 3am. I know the news makes it sound like every self-defense scenario is going to be an epic hero saving the day from the scads of insane assault-wielding mass shooters out there, but that’s not reality, at all.

  17. steve

    Haven’t been on this site in years…won’t be back anytime soon now either. This place used to be literally hilarious. Now it looks like its running transcript from NPR or like a really poor episode of South Park. I keep clicking, hoping for a laugh but haven’t seen one yet. Can I just stress the fact that NO ONE CARES what your political leaning is. It’s like you pick stories you can comment on politically. It is utter madness the way you carry on…almost every post, too.

    • Oh, you hearltess bastard, you just made Fish cry.

      • Yes, I said “hearltess”. It’s a female hearlt, shut up.

      • Dox

        Hearltess:
        Bovidae Bos Panthera
        Commonly known as the Hearlt, is found in the Northwest region of the Isle of Man, and is considered the single most dangerous hoofed predator on the planet. Known for its cunning stalking tactics, it is the only venomous Bovidae known in existence.

        Sadly, they have been hunted almost to extinction, as their hides and meat are prized among Aborignal peoples.

        (I got your back man.)

      • That’s it: first thing I’m doing in 2014 is get a black T-shirt with “Boss Panthera” printed on the front.
        And hoof slippers.

    • And yet here you are, commenting, contributing to site traffic, putting money in Fish’s pocket (and, presumably, oats into Photo Boy’s feed bag).

      I’m almost certain this is not the first time I’ve seen you bitching about Fish and how you’re not coming back. Maybe that was a different steve?

      • No, I think it’s the same one. There’s a certain piquancy to this one’s whiny butthurt that is unmistakable, yet delightful.

      • steve

        HAHA you guys are insane! No, I can promise you not the same “Steve” you’re thinking of. Weird, since the name is so uncommon…huh? LOL oh man, I’m glad I came back to see if there was any reply though. Finally a laugh on this site again!

      • Considering that an obvious joke just went right over your head, I don’t think it’s the site’s sense of humor that’s the problem here.

  18. Jenn

    I don’t want to go into a bar or restaurant where there might be a drunk fool running around with a gun. Hell, I could get that at my family reunion for freakin free.

  19. Kronaz

    Sure am glad we have the Superficial’s completely unbiased and fully informed political opinions. Because when I ask myself whose political opinions I value most, it’s definitely some uneducated internet flesh peddler.
    Get back to the tits, it’s all you’re good for. Leave the politics to the grown-ups.

    • Dox

      But wait!
      Aren’t you one of those hypocritical asswipes that had a hissy conniption fit over someone telling Duck Mc Douchebag not to make anti gay statements?

      Don’t you love free speech? Don’t you love AMERICA? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF TERRORIST ASSHOLE WHO HATES OUR FUCKING FREEDOMS? You conservatards are all about free speech and tolerance, right up until someone says something you don’t like. Then you become the bigoted, cum stains that you really are filled with hatred and intolerance.

      Maybe if you took Ted Cruz’s cock out of your mouth, you would realize that nobody gives a fuck what you have to say, you random, anonymous, internet, dick face. Go back to lubing up for your next round of “pin the republican dick in your ass.”

      (Wow. I can see why some people do that. It was actually kind of fun. Granted, its a bit on the hypocritical side, and seriously douchey, but hey…. why be civilized when I can be just like you.)

      (On another side note, I totally take that back. I suddenly feel a little less coherent after having said that. Completely not worth it. I’ll go back to who I was… as Rick James once said…

      Know your role biatch.)

      • Why don’t these people ever make good on their threats to leave?

      • We’re still waiting for the Baldwins and Sean Penn to leave the country, as they promised they’d do when G.W. Bush was re-elected.

      • “You conservatards are all about free speech and tolerance, right up until someone says something you don’t like. Then you become the bigoted, cum stains that you really are filled with hatred and intolerance.”
        Were you here for any of Fish’s intolerant rants about the Duck Dynasty guy expressing his opinion, which conflicts with Fish’s gay love liberal agenda talking points? Yeah, it’s conservatives that screech ‘SHUT UP ASSHOLE’ at everyone who disagrees with them. Just conservatives. Because calling people ‘bigoted cum stains’ is the hallmark of tolerance.

      • Dox

        I probably should have added (read with sarcasm) for those who wouldn’t get the joke. Here, let me explain it to you.

        You see, over the last few days I have endured several angry, raving posts from individuals that felt that Fish’s post on was an attack on his “right to free speech.” They voiced their opinion by saying how intolerant, and bigoted that Fish was, and then proceeded to be intolerant, bigoted, and call for Fish’s free speech to be stifled.

        You see, what I was doing there was using irony and satire as a means to poke fun at the individuals making those posts. Follow me so far? So at any rate, because you didn’t bother to read the posts I made, nor have you bothered to read anything I write, and notice that I generally do not make those types of posts, you totally missed out on what was actually a moderately entertaining joke.

        You further went on to call me out for my supposed intolerance, and bigotry while making intolerant comments at Fish about his “gay liberal agenda talking points.” Which actually just seeks to add another layer of delicious irony to this entire response I made.

        I do appreciate that, while at the same time, it appears that you were quite serious and earnest in your post. Fret not, proud conservative warrior, for the truth is… Liberals and Conservatives alike are both somewhat intolerant, and bigoted. Goes part and parcel with taking a hardline to any political viewpoint.

        At any rate, thank you very much for quoting the “bigoted cum stains” line. I was rather proud of that one, as it gave me a bit of a giggle when I posted it.

        Thank you for participating. Free speech is awesome, isn’t it?

  20. Oh my, so much testosterone.

    I declare all of you to be the losers of this battle.

    This is not a complicated matter. I’ll explain it in terms that even a right-winger can understand:

    Toby Keith has private property rights. Right-wingers love those, right? “It’s his private property and he can do what he wants with it!”

    Toby Keith therefore has a perfect right to ban guns from his private property.

    Now put away your dicks and quit trying to see who has the biggest one. Really, boys, none of them are impressive, and I’m being very charitable in my estimation at that.

    Happy New Year, God Nyatt Är!

    • Dox

      Hey now wait just a damn minute.
      This is some fine Nevada Whitesnake Right here. Estimated at a foot…

      10 inch…..

      7…

      Oh forget it.
      My size wouldn’t matter if you didn’t have a gaping maw for a vagina….

      *grumbles and stomps off*

      • It’s a fact that the vast majority of penises have the same length and girth. Only teenage boys, or arrested adolescents, are obsessed with dick size.

        But I meant it in a metaphorical, and not literal, sense.

      • Dox

        You are… decidedly not very fun.
        However, in reference to a gaping vagina, I was speaking in the literal, not metaphorical sense. Although, I suppose metaphorically, it could be in reference to a deep seeded fear of heights, coupled with a crippling aversion to commitment.

        Oh, by the way, if I get a vote… I’d go with arrested adolescent. Unless you were speaking metaphorically, in which case I think I identify more with a Unicorn.

        But that’s just me.

      • Sorry I’m not playing your game by your rules. You went straight for “if a woman argues with me, she’s a slut and a whore” and I just shrugged.

        Those tactics only work on insecure 13 year olds. Of which I am obviously not one.

      • Dox

        I did?
        Wow, thanks for clearing that up for me. Here I was under the impression that I made a vagina joke in response to a penis comment.

        I am so glad that people can tell me what I’m thinking, especially when they have never met me, and have absolutely no gauge with which to compare a comment.

        It must be nice to be so absolutely certain of what other people are thinking. Tell me, what’s it like being telepathic?

      • Well, I’ll be damned: You’re still around?

    • Well I’ll be damned. You’re still around, Veronika?

  21. OK, there’s a lot to read here, and I’ve obviously become confused – so, just so I’m clear, I can’t bring my gun to Toby Keith’s restaurant, but, if the waitress forgets the A-1 sauce, I AM still allowed to stab her with my steak knife, right?

  22. this is why i have stopped reading this stupid website. you bring up politics when you have no idea what you’re talking about. stick to celebrities. the original report mentioned that toby keith does not own the restaurant.

    The restaurant named for country music star Toby Keith has posted a “No guns permitted” sign on its front door and gun rights supporters are blasting the restrictions on the chain’s Facebook page. Some comments accuse Keith, who doesn’t own the restaurant, of being anti-gun.

    http://www.wtop.com/120/3532066/Toby-Keith-restaurant-in-Va-bans-guns-sparks-uproar

  23. vic

    I like your posts on celebrities. Your posts on politics mehhhh.

    “Fortunately, we live in a country where citizens are educated and informed enough to know that Toby Keith has the right as a business owner to operate his restaurant as he sees fit.”

    1.) This is the one time the superficial will use this phrase; only because it can be used against people he doesn’t like. Everything else: hiring practices, serving practices, how much employees should be paid, egress, kitchen standards, even which way the exit door swings, are regulated by the government, regardless of what the business owner thinks. If I am opposed to these things, will the superficial deem me educated and informed enough to know that Toby Keith has the right as a business owner to operate his restaurant as he sees fit? I seriously doubt it.

    2.) Toby Keith doesn’t even own the restaurant.

    Stick to boobs.

  24. TexasPete

    C’mon people..would you be as outraged over the “No shirt, no shoes, no service” policy many restaurants have?

    • Because it really isn’t all that different at its most basic.
      You know, ‘ We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone” – that means people carrying guns or barefooted.

  25. I think you misspelled GUBERMINT.

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