Tobey Maquire done making spider-themed abortions

January 11th, 2010 // 43 Comments

Spider-man 3 might have been the cinematic equivalent of watching your parents have sex, but it still brought in enough cash for Sony to want Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire back for a fourth Spider-man film. Fortunately that ended today when the studio apparently sobered up and announced they’re rebooting the entire franchise for a 2012 release. Deadline Hollywood reports:

Mike Fleming and Nikki Finke have just confirmed that Sony Pictures decided today to reboot the Spider-Man franchise after franchise director Sam Raimi pulled out of Spider-Man 4 because he felt he couldn’t make its summer release date and keep the film’s creative integrity. This means that Raimi and the cast including star Tobey Maguire are out. There will be no Spider-Man 4. Instead, Mike Fleming is told, the studio will focus on a Summer 2012 reboot from a script by Jamie Vanderbilt with a new director and a new cast. All this took place today at meeting on the lot today.

And by creative integrity Sam Raimi meant making sure Spider-man looks like a goddamn Power Ranger whenever we’re not staring into Tobey Maguire’s expressionless mug. Except he’s making me look like an idiot by blatantly climaxing at the sight of Natalie Portman’s tits. Although in fairness, I’ve seen a man who’d been dead for six hours have the same reaction.

Photos: Getty
superficial

  1. Looking a little weird there Toby..
    Natalie, keep up the good work though!
    Hiya Pepper ;)

  2. dontneedone

    i only watched the first spiderman, im not a big fan of spiderman, and he was good in it, but i dont find him appealin outside of the movie. him and leo are both unappaling. natalies dress is beautiful but just a tad too short.

  3. dontneedone

    i only watched the first spiderman, im not a big fan of spiderman, and he was good in it, but i dont find him appealing outside of the movie. him and leo are both unappealing. natalies dress is beautiful but just a tad too short.

  4. Randal

    Well, that’s great news!

    Now, don’t get me wrong here. I felt Tobey Maquire did a bang-up job in Spiderman and Spiderman 2. I also feel Spiderman 3 could have been a good movie but Sam Raimi blew a tire on that one and made a mess of it all.

    Randal

  5. jim eh

    Good, those movies sucked ass anyways.

  6. Anon

    What tits?
    She is hot though.

  7. Ian

    While the last Spiderman film was worse than mouth-cancer, Sam Raimi has accrued enough credit thanks to Evil Dead for me to be saddened he won’t be back.

  8. GeneralEmergency

    Is it just me or does Tobey Maguire look perpetually stoned?

    And the answer is:

    “It’s not me.”

  9. Toby looks great with Natalie Portman, I have only watched the 2nd spider man, the movie is good though.

  10. Rough: please pardon my negro dialect

    Tap it like you were an incumbent and stick with your wife tobey.

    Too bad they did a great job on Dr Octopus…

  11. skfaj

    A stoner staring at some titties whats your point

  12. dannyglover

    sam rami had nothing to do with spiderman 3 sucking it was marvel they wanted venom in it sam didnt so when he was forced to put it in him in there

  13. Rough: please pardon my negro dialect

    If the studio peeps are smart now is the time to have James Cameron with his version…

  14. taint

    it wasnt marvel that wanted venom it was sony that is why raimi is bailing they want to add black cat to the script for 4 and he aint having any of it. oh well there goes ant chance this movie had at being good.

  15. LovelyRiot!

    @6 can you say douche? ‘Cause you are one.

  16. Morgan

    Are you fucking kidding me? Rebooting a franchise that’s like 2 years old? Fucking hollywood, jesus christ.

  17. gen

    Spiderman 3 sucked, except Eric from That 70′s Show was in it, and he’s cute as hell.

    Natalie Portman is the most beautiful female I’ve ever seen. I would murder someone if it would allow me to look like her.

  18. vdls

    I’ve always found Tobey Maguire strangely attractive. I can”t explain it. I loathe the Spiderman franchise mostly because of Kirsten Dunst who is wayyyy too ugly to be Mary Jane and has no acting ability, sex appeal, personality and is just generally hideous. I’m happy it’s dead but they probably won’t do any better with the “reboot” either.

  19. Tobey Maquire is really a talented star I must say. He is truly a dashing . I saw all the spiderman series movie and he performed very well. Spiderman 3 is not good as the other one .

  20. v tard

    Geez, is he that short?

    Natalie’s wearing heels for sure and they’ve made her almost equal in height to Tobey.

  21. spider-man 4, expecting~~~~

  22. danzo

    best. news. ever.

  23. yes.

    yes. this needed to happen. is it because disney owns marvel and told sony to suck it? i hope so. topher grace was the WORST idea for venom. Laughable.

  24. Don

    @15, normally I don’t defend other posters, but really…WHAT TITS?

    I love Natalie Portman. Amazing actress. I saw all three Star Wars prequels and thought she was awesome in Brothers (stupid ending though). However, if tits aren’t able to clap, they should at least jiggle.

  25. Doc Schweinstrudel

    She is flawless, loved her in Closer. Love the colours of her outfit. Tried watching SM but it was so boring couldn’t make it.

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  27. cc

    What a relief. No more Spiderman’s please. The third one should have been a nail in the coffin of this tired series. And Tobey DID suck in them.

    “Hiya Pepper ;)” Ha! Now that was an entertaining movie!

  28. Anon

    #15
    You don’t think Natalie Portman is hot?
    What are you gay or a really fat frigid jealous woman?

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  30. Dr. Banner

    How about Ashley Greene in body paint as the next Mary Jane!!! Giggity!

    I’m reading about a “re-boot” with Peter Parker back in high school. Ugh. That means another telling of how he became Spiderman, etc. I just hope they skip thru that part and get on with the action. Making it back in highschool is for the kids. It isn’t going to appease adult fans of the comics who have read Spidey for years. Still, they will hopefully do right by the villains this time. The green goblin costume in the first film was a joke.

  31. RS

    Way to start 3/3 sentences with conjunctions in the closing remarks and work in a spelling mistake. Quality journalism.

  32. catch22

    so the most deserving lizard will never be the lizard…. im quite upset about this descision

    simple and clean … lizard happens peter tries to save him before kraven gets to him, meanwhile, spiderman himself is being stalked by the scorpion. in the end there is a hint of carnage to be in the next movie.

    wheres my check?

  33. baadnewsbear

    oh natalie, I’de love to give you this pearl necklace.

  34. SO RIGHT

    Natalie Portman is one of the few true beauties and talent left in Hollywood. She almost ruined it by dating Sean Penn, but luckily she knew not to have much to do with that nutbag

  35. Underwear Warrior

    Great! Hopefully now, they’ll cast someone who looks at least partly heterosexual.

  36. Katie

    As much as I HATED Venom in Spidey 3 (he’s mine and my son’s favorite character, Topher Grace should be ass raped.), I am so so so disapointed that there will be no more Spidey with Tobey Macguire. Sure, he’s homely and semi-retarted, but my son adores the 3 Spidey films. I really don’t look forward to telling him there will be no SPider Man 4. FUCK U Raimi. And I love Evil Dead.

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  38. Tire Swing

    That’s 3 too many “reboots.”

  39. Amy

    This may mean that marvel Studios succeeded in wrestling back the rights. Some of the Black Cat as Vulturess rumours were pretty ridiculous, and apparently they’ve been recently confirmed as true and abandoned.

    Now what they are doing is rebooting to HIGH SCHOOL Spiderman. For years and years Pete was a High School kid in the comics, and when they had him get married and have a baby the comics felt strained and weighted. Then they ret-conned marrying MJ because they realized responsible adult Spiderman didn’t work. The same with the movies. Spiderman 1 & 2 were good but three spent too much time trying to force you to sympathize with Sandman rather than giving us what we wanted: Venom.

    This is good news. I can’t wait.

  40. Hi I saw the midnight showing and was blown away not only by the special effects, but also by the acting and the story. Each movie in this series is better than the last, putting this in the league of trilogies such as Star Wars (the originals) and Back to the Future.

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