Today’s award for most boring story goes to Tobey Maguire and his wife, Jennifer Meyer, who welcomed their second child today. Us reports:
“I can confirm the Maguires had a baby boy today and the family is healthy and happy,” the rep adds.
No name was released.
Why can’t celebrity births be more exciting? It’s always, “They welcomed home a healthy baby boy today” or some other boring crap. Just once I’d like to see a rep go, “My God. I…I don’t even know what it was. I’m pretty sure I saw a tail and some horns. The doctors were screaming. And blood. There was blood everywhere. I think they’ve got it cornered in the hospital basement but we won’t know for sure until SWAT gets here.”