Tobey Maguire and his fiance, jewely designer Jennifer Meyer, had a baby daughter last friday. And she pretty much got the shaft, because besides being the bastard child of an unwed couple, her parents are like the opposite of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Pitt and Jolie’s kid is destined to conquer the world with her good looks whereas this kid is probably gonna be forced to live in a cave in the mountains.
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sbi13 | November 13, 2006 at 8:21 am
HAHA. Hilarious!
jrzmommy | November 13, 2006 at 8:22 am
Tobey Maguire has sex with women? Huh….whoddathunkit
lohanjob | November 13, 2006 at 8:23 am
they both just look so average for hollywood…
Drusilla | November 13, 2006 at 8:24 am
I know this isn’t snarky, but it’s kind of nice to see a star fall in love with an “ordinary” person instead of yet another gorgeous-yet-hollow thing. They probably have a better chance of making it in Hollywood than your usual gorgeous couple.
seyoboy | November 13, 2006 at 8:24 am
Sorry but i don”t beleieve this
http://celebrityoops.blogspot.com/
Adult Underoos | November 13, 2006 at 8:24 am
whoa whoa whoa… tobey?! what’s with the homely fiancee?! you’re a movie star! science h. logic!!!
http://funderpants.com
no one you know | November 13, 2006 at 8:25 am
Wow…I was really operating under a misconception that superheroes/famous actors could get hot women. This poor girl looks like she could be from the Shire.
mmbelle | November 13, 2006 at 8:25 am
umm i don’t think they’re that ugly ? whats the daughters name?
jrzmommy | November 13, 2006 at 8:27 am
They look like a geeky high-school couple.
Brain Embolism | November 13, 2006 at 8:27 am
Fornication is #1
mgbrown66 | November 13, 2006 at 8:28 am
Tobey humping this ugly chick is almost as bad as ‘I see dead people’ drunk driving around in his Saturn.
mullinitover | November 13, 2006 at 8:29 am
I wonder how much they will have to pay to get the baby pics published?
http://www.famousidiots.blogspot.com
RichPort | November 13, 2006 at 8:34 am
Unmarried? Edna’s not gonna be be one bit happy. Tobey+ REPORTED!!! And this 16 year old looking ordinary girl is leaps and bounds above Kirstin Dunst, so it could be worse.
KimberWolf | November 13, 2006 at 8:41 am
I think they’re sweet, except for the fact that she looks twelve years old.
sexybitch | November 13, 2006 at 8:44 am
Since both of their ears have the opened-taxicab-doors thing, that kid’s gonna look like Dumbo.
PapaHotNuts | November 13, 2006 at 8:47 am
It looks like he is filming Seabiscuit 2.
Ramdonomo | November 13, 2006 at 8:54 am
#4 & #8, I’m with you :) I think they’re adorable. I adore Tobey Maguire. I think he’ll be a great dad.
Tracy | November 13, 2006 at 8:54 am
Well, Maguire does have some pretty amazing blue eyes when you meet him in person. A lot of ppl are having kids without getting married. Cruise and Holmes are not married either but they got a kid now too. Spears had kids after she got married to an idiot, and how did that turn out?
Jadis | November 13, 2006 at 9:00 am
#4- Ordinary person? Are you fucking kidding me?
His fugly fiancee is about as ordinary as Kevin Federline is employed. Jennifer Meyer is the kid of Ron Meyer- who just happens to be the president of Universal Studios.
Tobey Maguire knocking up the big boss’ daughter basically ensures that we will see his pre-pubescent face in movies for decades to come. Hopefully his voice will stop cracking.
Kitty | November 13, 2006 at 9:02 am
Why doesn’t anyone get married BEFORE the baby is born anymore? Seems like these celebrity couples don’t bother getting married when the chick gets knocked up and I see that trend among “normal” people as well. Why make the kid be born out of wedlock if you are supposedly engaged? What the hell are they waiting for? A paternity test??
no one you know | November 13, 2006 at 9:08 am
@18…Holy shit! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a kid?!?!
sexybitch | November 13, 2006 at 9:19 am
#20
Because no matter how good Vera Wang is, a big belly spoils the line of the dress.
wedgeone | November 13, 2006 at 9:21 am
#21 No f’n way!! TCLTC??!?!?
BoognishRising | November 13, 2006 at 9:30 am
Jeesh, yer not fooling anyone Tobey. COME OUT ALREADY! I’m sure Frodo from Lord of the Rings would love to play “tummy sticks” with you.
Praz | November 13, 2006 at 9:34 am
To think that he could have been boning Ryan Starr.
What an idiot.
Mojo | November 13, 2006 at 9:45 am
lmao @ #7
20 bucks says that kid has huge feet and furry ankles.
Spindoc | November 13, 2006 at 9:56 am
Toby Macguier has always looked like he is just recovering from an illness or like he is severely anemic. Not sure if he is healthy or not, but if I found out tomorrow that he had been fighting Leukemia for years I wouldn’t really be surprised.
Instead of his girlfriend’s picture just imagine all her fathers money sitting next to him….thats hot.
sexybitch | November 13, 2006 at 9:56 am
#26
HeLLOOO, it’s a GIRL.
She’ll have furry boobs.
jrzmommy | November 13, 2006 at 9:57 am
Seriously, how old is she? 13? Let’s try to find some of her jewelry creations.
CelebSlam.com | November 13, 2006 at 9:59 am
Ummm, shouldn’t he be getting better ass than that?
http://www.celebslam.com
jrzmommy | November 13, 2006 at 10:00 am
You can view her creations here…http://www.jennifermeyerjewelry.com/
My kid does a better job with yarn and fuckign Froot Loops.
jrzmommy | November 13, 2006 at 10:02 am
and that would be fuckING….not to be confused with fuckIGN, which means to sign with the word fuck.
RichPort | November 13, 2006 at 10:04 am
They look like your typical 15 year old pregnant couple from Arkansas… what’s the issue?
sexybitch | November 13, 2006 at 10:06 am
Jrz, you missed one!
http://www.sthbodyjewelry.com/catalog/images/06-20-06-0039.jpg
commissioner | November 13, 2006 at 10:08 am
jrz- I ordered the diamond encrusted acorn for my pet squirrel.
jrzmommy | November 13, 2006 at 10:09 am
“Daaaaaadddddyyyyyyy…I want to make JEWelry…You have to make all of the people that work for you buy it?”
kitty_kat | November 13, 2006 at 10:09 am
Damn, doesn’t ANYONE in Hollywood get married before having kids anymore??? Is it out of style or something?
jrzmommy | November 13, 2006 at 10:09 am
That’s one goddammed sytlish squirrel you got Commish!
commissioner | November 13, 2006 at 10:10 am
jrz- Only the best for my furry friends.
commissioner | November 13, 2006 at 10:10 am
I did send her an e-mail, asking if she could design something for my beaver.
jrzmommy | November 13, 2006 at 10:11 am
Do you think she’ll design something for my pussy?
RichPort | November 13, 2006 at 10:16 am
That’s the kind of jewelry I plan to give my wife as a murder/ suicide present.
commissioner | November 13, 2006 at 10:20 am
Well, she does leaves, acorns and wishbones. I think a tuna-shaped diamond encrusted something or other would be a snap for Ms. Meyer.
jrzmommy | November 13, 2006 at 10:24 am
A diamond-encrusted log for your beaver, Commish. That would be lovely.
commissioner | November 13, 2006 at 10:27 am
jrz- Beats a cheese log any day.
Italian Stallion | November 13, 2006 at 10:27 am
All this time, I thought Hobbits were fictional, spooky…………..
jrzmommy | November 13, 2006 at 10:34 am
Cheese + log = icky.
commissioner | November 13, 2006 at 10:43 am
Encrusted + cheese + log = icky.
Hell, encrusted anything sounds icky.
shankyouverymuch | November 13, 2006 at 10:49 am
Why do the Irish & the Jews feel compelled to to get together and have babies all the time???… and don’t say that it doesn’t happen, because it does… all the time!!!
peace out nigga’s
jrzmommy | November 13, 2006 at 10:55 am
49–What other Jew/Irish couple is there?