Tobey Maguire Is Banging Justin Bieber’s Ex Already

Tobey Maguire’s soon-to-be ex-wife looks like she’s 12, so it really shouldn’t be a surprise that he already went right for Justin Bieber’s ex Sofia Richie, according to TMZ. More importantly, we go now live to the Wolf Lair where Tobey is to be reinstated by Leonardo DiCaprio himself into the Wolf Pack formerly known as “Pussy Posse.”

“Awoooo! Oww wow wow!”
“Bros. Bros. Bros…”
“Awoooo! Oww wow wow!”
“Bros!”
“Leo, bro, let’s do shots! Shots, bro, shots! Awoooo! Chase that shit with Bud Light Lime, bro! Awoooooo!”
“Bros, in a minute, bros, in a minute. Alright, bros, we’re hear to welcome back Tobey, one of the O-O-ohhhhhhhh G’s into the Wolf Pack, bros. He was one of my original bros, bros. And now, bros, he’s back in the pack. Awooooo!”
“Awoooo! Oww wow wow!”
“Because what do we always say about the Wolf Pack, bros?”
“Once a wolf, always a wolf! Once a wolf, always a wolf!”
“You’re goddammit right, bros! Awooo! Except for you, Jonah. You’re out.”

“FUCKING SPIDER-MAN!”

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Photos: AKM-GSI