T.J. Miller Got Arrested For Slapping An Uber Driver

“Why no, we haven’t seen any cocaine around here. Why do you ask?”

T.J. Miller finally did something hilarious other than be the unfunny part of Jian Yang’s prank calls. While attending multiple high-profile Hollywood events last night, he appeared to have pierced his own ear with a safety pin, because how fucking metal, right? And for anyone blissfully unaware of the safety pin protest, it’s supposed to be a symbol of opposition to the fear and hate mongering with which Trump won the presidency. So naturally, shitfaced and on his way home in an Uber, Miller allegedly slapped the driver after arguing about Trump. But how could that be? He’s woke AF! He wears the pin! Via TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell us T.J.’s driver picked him up from the GQ Men of the Year party early Friday morning, and during the ride they got into an argument about President-elect Donald Trump. The driver claims T.J. slapped him in the head when they got to his house. We’re told the driver got pissed and decided to make a citizen’s arrest. He called cops who showed up and took T.J. into custody. We’re told the driver did NOT have any visible injuries, and it’s he said/he said at this point.

I honestly thought citizen’s arrests only happened in terrible comedies, which kind of makes sense, because this whole incident reflects how funny then terribly tragic the next four years will be. Trump haters will continue their ineffectual forms of protest while his supporters do increasingly enraging things until no one’s paying attention to anything but morons beating the shit out of each other while the CEO of Carl’s Jr. quietly chips away at everyone’s paycheck and the head of the EPA who’s spent the last several years suing the EPA decides that The Fresh Air Act was “overreach.” But no, please, let’s just keep getting pissed off at each other, that’s not at all the way bullshit goes down while we aren’t looking. What the fuck was the point of this post anyway? Oh yeah, T.J. Miller is an ass weasel.

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Photos: Getty