Tito Ortiz is off the hook

May 13th, 2010 // 40 Comments

Tito Ortiz will, of course, not face any charges for alleged domestic violence because Jenna Jameson made the whole thing up for publicity. (Let’s call it like it is.) TMZ reports:

The D.A. tells TMZ there was insufficient corroboration to prove beyond reasonable doubt that Tito had attacked his girlfriend Jenna Jameson. That could have something to do with the fact Jenna changed her story multiple times.

Now that there’s no legal evidence of spousal abuse, the road’s clear for TLC to put these assclowns on TV and here’s some catchy titles for their inevitable reality project because I care too much. (It’s my curse.)

Gaping Canyon: A Family Story
Loving ‘Til It Hurts. A Lot. In the Face.
Our Gang (Bang)
Survivor: Hepatitis
Porn and Fists Plus 2
Duck Tales

More Jenna Jameson Bikini Pics – 5.10.2010


  1. Jim

    The judge got a look at her wrecked body in these pictures and instantly threw out the charges, figuring that Tito is suffering enough already.

  2. Taz

    Who cares. She is all washed up.

  3. Taz

    This reminds me of that balloon boy. She should have charges pressed against her.

  4. Parker

    Man I would love to pack that nasty ass after Tito slicked it up for me! Love ramming it in the ole gay hole cuz the pussy is for birthin’!
    *tugs underwear off wanker, coated with shite*

  5. Randal

    Dear Jenna and Tito,

    your sacred union should not be fodder for the press junkies and gossip queens. Your blessed marriage itself is the proof of your heavenly love incarnate. Begone the naysayers!

    There’s a great big runway of self acceptance, and I’m clearing you both for a landing. Keep on shining!


  6. seriously true


    you’re played out. Seriously. Go to some gay forum where they would actually care about your posts.

  7. stinky mcpoop

    Duck Tales! Love it.

    Episode 1: Tito’s Gone Quackers!

  8. Rick JAmes

    16 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE: The kids have grown up a bit and a friend tells them while hanging out, “Dude!! I just watched your mom get tripple gang-banged while oogling something resembling a mexican gordita and screaming out something so intrusive that even god himself had to watch a second time!!”

  9. havoc

    Duck Tales!



  10. oooaaahhh

    “My Three Holes”

  11. stinky mcpoop

    Episode 2: Mommy was a Quack Ho!
    Episode 3: Duck!
    Episode 4: Tito Gets the Bill
    Episode 5: Intervention by the Wonder Pets

  12. dude

    Add Momma To The Train

    Children of the Cornhole

    Schindler’s Fist

    Leaking Beauty

    Three Men and a Barbie

    Any Given Cumday

    Shaving Private Ryan

    Honey, I Shanked The Kids


    Glazed And Confused

    Intercourse with the Damn Liar

    Going For Sloppy Seconds

  13. dude

    lmao #11

  14. Intruder

    If she had as many pricks sticking out of her as she has had stuck in her, she’d look like a pin cushion.

  15. drenk

    how’s he off the hook? he’s still married to jenna jameson…?

  16. Cris

    Dear superficial writer,

    As a naive man in a corrupt sick twisted world I have a question I feel only you can answer. How does a pregnant pornstar keep the baby from falling out her “Gaping Canyon” or family tunnel. Also are these the canyons used by mexican drug lords to traffic drugs?

  17. SO RIGHT

    Worst swimsuit ever. Randal is the best poster ever. Rock on Randal!

  18. Ranger Rob

    another victory for California criminals, yay!

  19. Sheena

    Are those babies wearing cloth diapers? I heart that.

    And you too, Randal. I heart you!

  20. whoa

    i’m laughing so hard i’m probably going to spontaneously combust over porn and fists plus 2. thanks dude!

  21. amanda barker

    I always thought you were funny…this is not!!!
    So often women take men back after they abuse them because they feel they deserve to be hit. This is not something that should be taken lightly! We all saw the bruises. Are you going to make jokes the next time???

  22. eesh

    ugh, that is one seriously ugly baby.

  23. Racer X


  24. There self-acceptance of a large runway judge found him in the picture and the wasted body, a look at the charges thrown out immediately, figuring that Tito is suffering enough, ‘and I’m clearing you both for a Landing . Keep on shining!

  25. We all saw the bruises.

  26. Thanks very much for sharing.

  27. ? _ ? ? .o ?
    _?_ ? ???????
    ? ? /?\/?\ _ ? __ ? _ ““““““““““““““““““““

    Tell you a story,there used to have a mountain, a temple in the mountain , a monk live in the temple . . .
    go to my home
    They are SEXY, GORGEOUS and FUN.

  28. The Orange County District Attorney’s office announced Thursday it will not charge Ultimate Fighting champion Tito Ortiz with domestic violence.

  29. captain america

    sorry, HIS SKULL IS EMPTY, folks!!

  30. Rex Kramer-Danger Seeker

    Tito, I have a wood chipper you can borrow.

  31. whattheshit

    Sex between those two must have looked like a car wreck. Yikes.

  32. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Well about the NICEST thing I can say about them is this:

    Good Lord that bathing suit is ludicrous!

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