I’ve heard the name Tinsley Mortimer several times in my travels, but if someone put a gun to my head and asked me why she’s famous, or who the hell she even is, I’d ask them to shoot me in the chest so I’d leave a beautiful corpse. So, on that note, I looked her up on Wikipedia, and it turns out she’s a direct descendant of both Thomas Jefferson and Patrick Henry who’d probably walk into a cannon blast if they knew their bloodlines culminated in a “socialite.” Which in olden times would’ve been described as “ye who falleth from wealthy musket-holster.”
Photos: INFdaily
unh…double that, unh unh
More like Teensy Mortimer.
I salute you, mcpoop!
hahahhaaaaa…… sharp! Who is she though? Anybody know?
Too bad she has the face of Dina Lohan.
Too bad she has the face of Dina Lohan.
One look at her trust fund balance, and I think you call overlook the face.
Fuckable, more money than Paris, and fewer diseases = nice catch.
Too bad she has the face of that blue moon guy that used to do the McDonald’s commercials. Last time I saw a chin that pointy I wanted a Big Mac tonight.
You, good sir, are the man! Hilarious!
With a name like Tinsley Randolph Mortimer she sounds more like she’s related to the Duke brothers from Trading Places.
She is the great-granddaughter of Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd. Don’t ask me to explain the science responsible for their unlikely progeny but do say a prayer for Charlie… the splinters must have been horrible.
+1
hahahahaha stinky is on point again. The second I read this header I thought of Trading Places.
Do any of these girls do squats anymore? Fucking have 78 year old looking asses.
if thats the ass of a 78 year old then im going to the nursing home tonite to chase some tail
I was thinking that too. She needs to do some lunges for sure. The insanity warm up would kill her.
I don’t know who Tinsley Mortimer is, but she looks like she should be named Tinsley NeedsMorTimeAtTheBuffet.
Pretty girl but what is that strange pattern on her thigh. Is she turning into a gila monster?
Character from a Dickens novel? Queen Victoria’s horse valet? The mean lady from an episode of Beverly Hillbillies?
Seriously, just say the name out loud and try to stop your nose from sticking up in the air.
No thanks.
There’re much better looking girls who would never fuck me to stare at.
LOL
Actually, that would be “thou who falleth from wealthy musket-holster”; “ye” is plural, inappropriate in this case. Then again, both “ye” and “thou” are second-person pronouns; perhaps a simple third-person pronoun (i.e. “she”) would be more appropriate.
She looks really old and used up.
Hey fish, I can bring my camera down to the beach and take pictures of random no-name mediocre chicks in bikinis if it’s a slow day or if you just want some masturbation fodder. The girls I will photograph won’t be celebs either so I can give you a cheap deal on the shots.
Hit me up, it’s 213-382-5633.
Hell, start your own “celebrity” blog and I’ll be there! Can’t be any worse than this…
i think she looks good.
nice pooper.
hmmm, side butt.
At least she hangs out with a classy guy. Jean shorts? Really? Rural Alabama called, it want its shorts back.
1987 called, it wants its joke back
The jerk store called; they’re running out of you!
Jorts
youd think a direct descendant of a founding father wouldnt look so trashy
Is that because all of the founding fathers were sexy beasts? I heard Jefferson was a centerfold in the first issue of Playgirl.
Ha!
ew
Great another rich bitch with no tits who no ones heard of who has her reality show. Cept shes twice the age of being worth a second take. No offense but fuck off
HAHA BITCH HOW ABOUT YOUR VAGIANTS NOW??? They shit the bed on national TV – man was that funny.
Theyve looked worse this year and still lead the div so whatev
“Socialite” must mean ugly broad with no tits who’s famous for nothing in particular but her indiscriminate whoring.”
See also: Paris Hilton
Thanks for clearing that up… I thought “socialite” meant something to do with golddigging. Hey, maybe we’re both right!
Going to have to go with Jones’ comment on picture 10…
“No thanks. There are much better chicks that would never fuck me to stare at”
lol.
Doesn’t she realize that she needs to choose a less attractive partner for her sex tape? This assuming she’s smart enough to realize the only thing socialites are good for these days.
pass
Christ, why did u have to post this?! I’m not into 14 year old Korean boys!
Produce a 14 yo korean boy who looks like that or stfu with that
it’s going to be hard to believe but in the new york socialite world (which i weirdly follow) this girl was more famous than paris hilton… that has been over for 2 years now. she divorced her oil barren husband and for the first time this ‘world’ was shown kinda on her failed reality show (hijacked by jules kirby). she was the most paris hilton-wannabe of that world and now they hate her.
absolutely sure her publicist sent these in since they are constantly trying to get her the public recognition of the fame she has in new york but its never going to happen. also think she has been shown on here before standing next to another celebrity, dont remember who and i remember it being quietly major.
tinz, hang it up. inbreeding. old world ‘small nosejobs are better’
if anyone here used to read the evil twin to the superficial (but for real socialites in new york) ‘socialite rank’ holla. tinsley was the paris of that version of socialitism.
Never have, but your info explains a lot!
One thing I admire about those High Society bitches is their healthy obsession with keeping it lean….
Thomas Jefferson and Patrick Henry? With that pancake butt she looks more like Kesha’s slightly (but only slightly) better looking sister.
“ugy” looks like i got a new moniker…
big deal….no boobs or ass
LOVE that bathing suit, so cute! she has a nice body too. don’t know anything about her though.
Mercy… if you look closely at the hair on the back of her head, you can almost see the binder clips they’re using to keep her face pulled that tight.
‘she’s a direct descendant of both Thomas Jefferson and Patrick Henry who’d probably walk into a cannon blast if they knew their bloodlines culminated in a “socialite.” ‘
That might be the funniest thing you’ve ever written.
Anyway, it wouldn’t take long to find a better specimen than this on a Florida beach.
BTW can these fuckin’ hipsters or whatever they think they cool it with the tattoos. Unless you are an organized crime enforcer, a biker, or a member of an elite military unit, you like a douchebag with all those tattoos.
A sniff of money and a person becomes famous. She has a great body for a 40 year old (I know she’s 34).
Did you ever do maths to get your High School Diploma?She’s 34 not a 40year old. That’s a 6 year difference! Yeah I would look great too if I was born rich and had no worries like -a job,mortgage,kids going to college…………..
Uh, the person stated they knew she was 34.
Finally someone thin :D
every girl who is just out of puberty is slim.
Oh Look, its the original “man-hands” from Seinfeld.
Shes a 45 year old hag trying too hard. Thats pretty much all you need to know.
Wheres the shot of her grandkids?
i want to tell her how her ass taste
She’s worth millions and she hangs out with a dude in homemade jorts?