Calvin Harris Doing Helluva Job Rebounding From Taylor Swift

First things first, Calvin Harris’ real name is Adam Wiles, which he changed to Calvin Harris so people would think he’s black, so let’s just say the events of this post probably aren’t impeding that pursuit. Although, in fairness, his name couldn’t have been more white if it was Steve Doocy. Anyway, I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like going from Taylor Swift to Tinashe except I can, and it was like this:

“Holy shit, are those breasts? And an ass? And you’re telling me my penis gets to go in without us being married?! WHOOPEE! (I’m still getting jerked off at massage parlors.)”

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photos: AKM-GSI