Tina Fey will be a kick-ass mother

Tina_Birth.jpgSaturday Night Live and Mean Girls writer, the all-around hilarious Tina Fey, gave birth to a baby girl named Alice on Saturday. This will be Fey and her husband, SNL composer Jeff Richmond’s, first child.

Oh man, it’d be terrifying to be the daughter of someone as shameless as Tina Fey. I can just imagine the kid’s childhood: “Whoa, whoa, honey. You’re not going out of the house wearing that, are you? No, no. No, that won’t do. Remember the time Garth Brooks was hosting SNL and pissed off Mommy, so Mommy put him in a sketch as an old French whore? Yeah? Good. ‘Cause if you don’t change your skirt right now, I’m afraid Mommy’s going to forcefully put torn fishnets on your legs, used condoms in your hair, and write ‘Old French Whore’ on your forehead with a sharpy. I know, honey. Yes, I know my shit is bananas, but it’s the only way you’ll learn.”

Actually, if you add a bottle of bourbon, that’s my childhood. Ahh, good times.