Tim Tebow’s Moved On To Taylor Swift Now

February 29th, 2012 // 59 Comments
Shattered Dreams
Katy Perry
Tim Tebow Tells Kids He Didn't Bang Katy Perry Read More »

In his quest to find a pure, undriven virgin to be his bride, Tim Tebow continues to bark up exactly the wrong trees by pursuing Taylor Swift whose music he’s clearly never listened to once. Via ClevverTV, whatever the hell that is:

Taylor Swift has dated her fair share of great guys and it looks like she could have snagged a new one. Sources tell ClevverNews that Taylor was spotted out at dinner with Tim Tebow at Toscanova Italian restaurant in Century City last night.

TAYLOR: Oh, Tim, it’s been such an amazing night. Make love to me!
TIM: *douses her with Holy Water* Jesus. Teleport me outta here!
JESUS: Right away, Timmy! SHALAKAZAM.
TIM: Phew, that was a close one. Will I ever find the right girl for me, Jesus?
JESUS: Wait. Was that Taylor Swift? Dammit, dude, I thought you were being mugged. Seriously, I’m done setting you up with these chicks if you’re not going to bang ‘em.
TIM: I get nervous.
JESUS: Probably ’cause you’re gay.
TIM: What?
JESUS: Nothing.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Megan Fox

    If I were her I’d get pregnant

  2. Title of Taylor Swift’s next album: The Bronco who wouldn’t Buck.

  3. terry

    Tim, be careful. That boney ass may gouge out your balls.
    I think Swift is giving out her pussy 24/7 because she’s little nympho!

  4. cc

    She’s still cute, but now I hate her.

  5. HEY HICK FUCK YOU!

    Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, Jakey Gillenhall. She has bearded for every closet case in hollywood…proof positive that Tebow is G-A-Y.

  6. Eric

    This website is disgusting. Get a life losers. I cant believe msn brought me to this POS site.

  7. She regularly picks guys that won’t work out because on some level she knows her creativity depends directly on failed romantic idealism.

    Jesus, what the hell just happened? When did I turn into Dr. Phil? *checks hair* I’ve got to stop reading the wife’s magazines when I’m taking a dump.

  8. LJ

    Ms. Swift’s boobs have a much “larger” appeal since she began the birth control pills.

  9. There must be something wrong with me. I think she’s cute, in a non-slutty, doesnt sprinkle coke on her breakfast cereal, Lindsay Lohan kind of way.

    • Agreed Eric. However, she’s mental.

      • Frank Burns

        Plus, she’s a John Mayer castoff. Does anybody really want to go where he’s been? Pass.

      • Bale

        Hell no. No telling what Mayer left up there. I do believe Tebow is gay. This cat had to stop and pray on the football field during a game so you would think he’d run to the nearst church after the game is over but no, he ran to Vegas and now hard at work looking for a Hollywood beard.

  10. Your mom

    Since he’s gay this story is false.

  11. Barney Fife

    I would prefer my football team to have a gay quarterback over a serial rapist any day.

  12. Squiggy

    I look forward to an entire Swift album dedicated to bashing Tebow and his brother, Jesus. Actually that’s a lie, nothing could make me look forward to anything involving her work.

  13. Dan

    Taylor Swift… WTF ARE YOU DOING?!?

    Seriously.

    Date someone normal.

  14. Is that an anti-cleavage?

  15. Taylor Swift Tim Tebow Dating
    holygrail
    Commented on this photo:

    forever alone

  16. holygrail

    forever alone

  17. Da Cheese

    Tebow should be able to appreciate her cause she would be into doggie and use a strap-on on him.

  18. Taylor Swift Tim Tebow Dating
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Keep wearing that dress Taylor! Someday someone will ask you to Junior Prom.

  19. Die already...

    Maria Menounos is an amazingly hot piece of ass. Hot body, cute face, and you can tell she “shags like a minx”. Humpadelic, baby…

  20. dontkillthemessenger

    If we find out they’re in the same place together, who do we send that information to? Does Al Qaeda have Twitter account or something

  21. Taylor Swift Tim Tebow Dating
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are the worst hair extensions I’ve ever seen.

  22. Taylor Swift Tim Tebow Dating
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Gosh Taylor, if you want fuzzy balls near your head just give me call.

  23. Shutter Speed

    This girl must have a 4 inch clit. It explains all the transitional gay boys in her life and the constant breakups. Now if she would name it and write a song….well I’d buy that for a dollar

  24. Taylor Swift Tim Tebow Dating
    Weaselmouse
    Commented on this photo:

    Side-rib.

  25. tlmck

    Her next hit will be adult themed. The title will be “He is a meany and he has a small thingy”.

  26. THIS makes it official: Tebow is the poster child of closeted Christian jocks.

  27. Taylor Swift Tim Tebow Dating
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, he heard she likes older guys.

  28. forrest

    unless it didn’t occure to ya yet.
    ….THE PRESS MAKES EVERY RELATIONSHIP LOOK WISE!!

    try to resist like lindsey vonn.

  29. terry

    She’s going to age sooo goddamn bad!

  30. Taylor Swift Tim Tebow Dating
    Krtecek
    Commented on this photo:

    Anorexic, boobless and buttafaced. Nice.

  31. DR

    The idea that Tebow is a virgin is laughable. Like most Christians, he’s almost certainly a total hypocrite.

  32. Schmidtler

    Danny DeVito is a poon hound, he was in ‘The Lorax’, Taylor Swift was in it too – so how come no rumors she’s involved with her co star Danny DeVito? He can pull off that suave move of casually dropping a magnum condom so the ladies see it, plus flashing a thick wad of Benjamins to impress them. Sheesh, they seem like a perfect match!

  33. I guess I’d smoke a choad if I get to bang Taylor…….. although she probably isn’t very good at it.
    …. ya know what ? …… nevermind…..

  34. Taylor Swift Tim Tebow Dating
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    krtecek, youre an ahole. also, what you said doesnt make sense. how can see be a “buttaface” (great body, bad face) if she is also “anorexic” and “boobless?” taylor is a great looking girl, and by all accounts a good person, too.

Leave A Comment