Tim Tebow Really Needs The No Sex With Olivia Culpo Thing To Go Away

“The Jesus Force is all the woman I need at my side. Now let’s blow this thing and get out of here!”
“All the lines from the movie, and he remembers that one…”

Before we get into things, back in 2012, Tim Tebow saw Rock of Ages on Broadway and posed with some of the cast backstage who later tweeted the pic. Except their midriffs were visible to the human eye – GASP! *makes sign of the cross, prays, burns down a Planned Parenthood* – so like a chaste follower of Christ, he demanded the photo be taken down because it’s okay to lie and cover shit up if you’re doing it for Jesus. Which brings us to this latest report from TMZ that conveniently shoots down reports that Olivia Culpo dumped Tim Tebow because he wouldn’t have sex with her:

Well, sources close to the situation tell us Tebow and Culpo’s romantic relationship never went beyond the rumor stage. We’re told the chatter started after Olivia and Tim met in church a few months ago — and even though their reps denied it, a lot of people ran with it.
Our sources say Tim did show interest in Olivia, and they hung out a few times WITH mutual friends … but never had a one-on-one date.

Of course, you’d think Tim Tebow would want to publicize how super Christian abstinent he is instead of covering it up like his people obviously are here, but you know what doesn’t stop gay rumors? Letting everyone think your client was in the same room as this going, “Hey, wanna watch a Kirk Cameron movie? In this one, he’s a fireman!”

olivia culpo naked nude topless

“You’re not allowed to touch this.”
“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it, talking baby in my head?” *PUNT*

How my shit gets done.

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