Tila Tequila was never engaged to Casey Johnson

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Guess I probably should’ve stopped for a minute and realized the source of Tila Tequila’s engagement claims was – whoops – Tila Tequila. (With an assist from Joe Francis.) NY Daily News reports:

Some insiders believe “Girls Gone Wild” pornmeister Joe Francis was the secret architect of the sad spectacle, which they say was designed to hype Tequila’s Francis-financed Web site. Tila’s assistant, Jessica Cohen, insists the video “had nothing to do with ‘Girls Gone Wild.’” Francis’ rep didn’t return calls.

All I need to hear is that Joe Francis had sex with Tila Tequila and we’re seriously looking at the trifecta of horrible decisions:

1. Finance a dating site run by an unholy elf who personally lodges VD in your urethra.
2. Pull a publicity stunt predicated on the fact that said elf has any credibility whatsoever.
3. Stick your penis in it. Even with a condom.

I’m a pretty sure a smarter business decision would’ve been to light a pile of cash on fire right before banging a mountain of rusty scrap metal. There’s really no way Joe Francis wouldn’t have come out ahead on that one. Fiscally and hygienically.

Thanks to Youarereported for his diligent efforts minding the shit-midget fence.