Tila Tequila tries way too hard to prove she’s bisexual (Because she’s not)

June 3rd, 2008 // 76 Comments

Tila Tequila’s marketing bra was on overdrive during the MTV Movie Awards this weekend. One of the main criticisms of her show A Shot at Love was that, hey, guess what, Tila’s not really a bisexual. With her second season in progress, she’s working her face off to trick people into believing she swings both ways. At the Movie Awards Tila offered up her advice to lesbian couple Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, according to Us Magazine:

“I think that the fact that everyone knows about it makes it fine,” she told Usmagazine.com at the MTV Movie Awards in Universal City, CA Sunday.
Her advice for the clandestine couple?
“Just go all out with it!” she said. “If you’re going to do something, do it all out.”

And if that wasn’t enough. Tila then did a leprechaun bounce over to the Extra reporters and professed her love for Christina Ricci:

“I love Christina Ricci,” she reveals to Extra. “She’s really hot and I think she looks kind of odd like me…I fell in love with her when I saw Black Snake Moon. She was naked in that one. I kind of drooled over her naked scenes…”

You know who drools over Christina Ricci? Non-bisexuals. Holy crap, I rest my case. Once again, another decisive battle in the age-old struggle of science versus crazy non-lesbian elf stripper. Onward to victory!

superficial

  1. ShitBitch Carl

    Fast!

  2. pucky

    I hate this bitch. I don’t find her attractive AT ALL. If I ever has the displeasure of running into her It’ll take all my focus to not smack her huge head off her fake body.

  3. bah

    kill it with fire

  4. Asian leprechauns are all lesbians

  5. bakinmycake

    Death race 2008 has it’s first target.

  6. dude

    2-5 above: LMAO.
    I love it, you guys are on your game today. Allow me to make my usual statement about such worthless, hellbound whores:

    Vapid cunt.

  7. Conor S

    Its about time they found a good spokeswoman for down syndrome.

  8. snarky

    Black Snake MOON??? Um, its Black Snake MOAN; stupid bitch. And yeh, last time I checked, Christina Ricci wasn’t asian, but she is hot, unlike you Tila. And how freakin’ stuck up do you have to be to talk about how hot you are? Sheesh

  9. simple rule

    If it looks like 2 really ugly guys in oversized cargo shorts trying to make out, they’re real lesbians.

  10. Edit** It is “Black Snake Moan” not “Black Snake Moon”

  11. veggi

    Why hasn’t anybody mentioned that the movie title is Black Snake Moan (not Moon)?

  12. Every time I see her I totally keep expecting her to just stop what she’s doing, and say, “YOU CHEAT, DR. JONES! YOU CHEAT, I SAW!”

    Hmm….I bet she pees green tea with ginseng….and crack.

    “Dating Strippers Just Got Alot Easier!”
    http://www.new-alpha.com/stripper_secrets.html

  13. sissy

    emm, u are so sweet.. but i just found out your secret that you have joined the online club S u g a r M i n g l e.c om a, by which you are seeking rich man to be your sugar daddy!

  14. Good god… you could land a Cessna between her eyes.

  15. Cindy

    I think the real movie title is “Moan” not “Moon.”

  16. I like me a hot asian piece of ass just as much as the next guy – but this chick(?) isn’t even close to being attractive. What is wrong with her face???

    Plus, what the hell is she famous for? pretending to be bisexual on myspace or something???

  17. Stacie

    Tila is trying too hard to prove that she likes girls. It’s just like all the teenage boys here that say I’d hit it even though they only girls they kissed were pages torn from FHM.

  18. Randal

    Tila,

    Keep up the good work. You are beautiful and talented. I only wish I were a real woman like you instead of tucking my penis between my legs and posting the resulting mangina on my facebook gallery.

    Randal

  19. Shell

    You are SO WRONG!

    I can tell you for a fact that Tila is Bi.

    What’s more… she is LESS into men.

    (Someone from her long distant past.)

  20. Randal

    Looks like my fans are out and about today, #19.

    Thanks for the laugh but everyone knows I would never use such profanity in a post such as the one you made.

    As for Tila, it’s great when folks are open and honest as Tila is and always has been, which clearly showed in her first season. There are many beautiful people in the world, both male and female and finding one or the other attractive is nothing short of wonderful.

    Keep wearing your heart on your sleeve Tila, your fans love ya for it!

    Randal

  21. Jackson'shole

    This bitch has a really ugly face. Who the fuck cares about her? Please go back to obscurity.

  22. JimmyBachaFungool

    I think she’s hot..sorry.

  23. Unless a fist emerges from a naughty place covered with evidence, don’t believe it.

  24. Randal

    Looks like someone is again trying to impersonate me, #21.

    As you are well aware, I am well versed in profanity, however the medical term for male genitals hardly constitutes profanity.

    You do correctly summarize Tila’s genuine, honest and profound search for love. What better tableau than the internet or MTV. Again her poise, grace and lovely countenance make me long for the time I was in my mother’s womb gestating. A pox on that cursed Y chromosome for endowing me with this undersized appendage clinging tightly betwixed my legs. How I hate it for it’s miniscule size and functionlessness. Soon, my garish groin growth, I will be across the pond in Sweden where a cadre of skilled surgeons will transform you into the lovely tulip of femininity destiny robbed me of inutero.

    Randal…

    Soon to be Randie

  25. English Bob

    All you haters out there give the girl a break..I think she’s kinda hot (Not as hot as SHE thinks she is, obviously)…and there is a movie called Black Snake Moon actually !!! So there. My copy is sat at home inbetween ‘Shaving Private Ryan’ and ‘You’ve got mail…genitals’….

  26. veggi

    12- hello fuckface.

    Does anyone really watch her show??

    On a positive note, she never has to turn her head to see anything..

  27. Randal

    Never before have I seen such beauty, I’m
    going to say that in order for any woman
    to inspire me so, than that woman would need to
    give money. Tila Tequila, if that is your real name,
    you are one of a kind. Keep looking
    up, sister.

    Never listen to what the fools here say. They’re
    going to savage you from your fake breasts
    to your bobblehead. They can only hurt you if you
    let them. And, after being a veteran of the cruel media,
    you should know how to deal with them. Shoot them
    down with a sexy stare and flip of your hair!

    Randal

  28. BunnyButt

    I’d say let the lesbians have her … but I’m guessing they don’t want her either.

  29. HuckyDucky

    It must be difficult to live without binocular vision. She must have to move her head up and down like the birds to to perceive depth.

    As to Superficial Writer’s statement about “working her face off”, let me know when that’s all done.

  30. Spider

    The comments used to be funny on this site…that would be the only reason I would come here. But now they are just stupid and lame.

    Except for Randal #21, he rocks…the thing about him is that no one can impersonate him #19 and 25. If you can’t recognize his genius, than sucks for you. He makes Ghandi look like a child pornographer.

  31. #31 – that was the least funny comment I’ve ever read here.

  32. Vince Lombardi

    Living proof that if you’re ugly and have no discernible talent, buying yourself a set of fake tits and acting like a outrageous slut will get you famous.

    Note to Tia: Madonna beat you to it, AND saved herself money by avoiding the boob job. You’re a very pale imitation, which is no doubt why you sport tats bigger than your ugly round Charlie Brown head.

  33. TacoBreath

    You stupid pie-faced gook cunt. Me ruv you rong time. Sucky sucky?

    Fake tits, round face, fugly body, too short. Plus Asian women generally suck in bed.

    Other than that, go Tila! :-/

  34. lyn-z

    Hehe Will Ferrel <3

    She is trashy, but by no means ugly.

  35. mel b

    what a shame she’s all tattooed up- what a beautiful dress but she looks like a crack whore playing dress up with all the ink.

  36. mel b

    what a shame she’s all tattooed up- what a beautiful dress but she looks like a crack whore playing dress up with all the ink.

  37. mel b

    what a shame she’s all tattooed up- what a beautiful dress but she looks like a crack whore playing dress up with all the ink.

  38. The Gorgeous One

    Just wondering, why is she famous? I don’t watch MTV anymore. Was she a VJ or something

  39. BCW

    I see that Stewie Griffin served a tour in Vietnam. That can be the only explanation for this sorry mutated excuse of a whore. Just get with the sucky sucky and leave!

  40. Steve

    If Tila and Christina Ricci ever hooked up i think that would be the hottest thing since hedi montag in a bikini

  41. Does anyone else imagine Randal sitting in his room saying, “It needs the lotion for it’s skin, yes it does”…

  42. Completely agree. What bisexual drools over Christina R?
    I mean…. why not Angelina Jolie? Or megan fox ? or jessica biels butt or jennifer lopez’s butt? Drew barrymore is cute too…. hmmm. Who else is genuinly hot in hollywood?

  43. #41 – Not hotter than Heidi running around in flames in a bikini…

  44. Fumus

    @11

    Awesome pic…it’s making it’s rounds now via e-mail in my office. +1!!

  45. #45

    dude…. how is that awesome???

  46. to 45
    Dude….
    How can that be awesome????

  47. Racer X

    Slore.

  48. rongway

    BARF

  49. toolboy

    Bitch, get your skanky ass back in that tree and finish making me some fudge striped graham cracker cookies!!

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