Ladies, you’re going to have to help me out on this one because I’m freakin’ clueless about this stuff: What the hell is going on with Tila Tequila’s tan? Either she went nuts with the bronzing gun, or someone left the E-Z Bake Oven open again. Which one is it? I know it’s not natural because I’ve read the Keebler Elves’ charter, and it strictly prohibits exposure to “the human’s harsh sun.” It’s called research, kids. The handiest tool in the blogger’s tool belt – not counting meth. Geekologist, fire up another batch! I’m starting to trust the government again.
Photos: Splash News
HeidiHo | June 19, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Just when I thought the fuglies were done for the day
nodo | June 19, 2008 at 2:53 pm
nasssty
Kingofbeer | June 19, 2008 at 2:53 pm
haha she stained her hands. also that stuff smells like ass.
kati | June 19, 2008 at 2:54 pm
god, that’s worse than paris hilton….
veggi | June 19, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Every time I go to Chipotle the next day I see something that looks exactly like this poking a turtlehead out of the toilet water.
Karmacidal | June 19, 2008 at 2:56 pm
She looks like one of those guidos…or whatever they call those orange guys with the spiky hair.
Juliana | June 19, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Man that oriental elf bitch annoys the hell outta me. She thinks she’s a lesbian now. Fucking attention-seeking little midget.
Auntie Kryst | June 19, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Awful tan because…
1) she went nuts with the bronzing gun
2) someone left the E-Z Bake Oven
3) OR a third option…she showered in soy sauce
Dane Cook | June 19, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I can’t think of anything funny to say …ever.
Lara | June 19, 2008 at 3:10 pm
One must not let the mogwai near bright light, especially sunlight, which can kill the Mogwai; one must not get water on the mogwai; and, most importantly, one must never feed it after midnight.
mixedmartialartvideos.com | June 19, 2008 at 3:11 pm
sic dolluh doot
dude_on_a_wire | June 19, 2008 at 3:14 pm
@9 – hilarious
I don’t get it with this skank. First of all aren’t all Asian whores are bi – what does that cost like $5 extra bucks? And secondly who the hell would be attracted to this itty bitty mousy child body hobbit other than a ped in Phuket?
lulu | June 19, 2008 at 3:14 pm
LOL!!! THAT IS THE WOST TAN EVER!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She doesn’t need to tan anyway! Her skin is naturally bronze…
Come-Honor-Face | June 19, 2008 at 3:15 pm
how the fuck could she think she looks good going out with that shit all over herself. Can someone please remind her she comes from Yellow people not Orange ones
lulu | June 19, 2008 at 3:15 pm
worst** :)
Ted from LA | June 19, 2008 at 3:24 pm
ET PHONE HOME! ET PHONE HOME!! ET PHONE HOME!!! ET PHONE HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ti | June 19, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Whoa, way too much Mystic. It looks like it’s making her break out on her face too.
Steph | June 19, 2008 at 3:32 pm
please stop posting about this… thing. We really don’t care.
dan | June 19, 2008 at 3:33 pm
fidget also looks like she rubbed her face with a slice of pepperoni pizza
TamIAm | June 19, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Always wondered what an Oompa Loompa with big fake breasts would look like. Thanks for solving that mystery Tila. One less thing to research before I die.
nipolian | June 19, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Look……….It’s Agent Orange.
jbl | June 19, 2008 at 3:42 pm
I think this is what happens when asians go to tanning beds since they’re yellow to begin with.
HuckyDucky | June 19, 2008 at 3:43 pm
See my link for the first ever picture of Binky on this site.
g | June 19, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I’m a lesbian and I would turn around and run if I saw that disgusting troll coming for me in the night…
Jimbo | June 19, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I JUST WANT TO TELL EVERYONE THAT I JUST CAME IN MY PANTELONES. NOT FROM HER THOUGH. FROM THE DIGITAL WORKOUT VIDEO I JUST GOT WITH MY BIG MAC!!
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | June 19, 2008 at 3:45 pm
That, my friends, is what is technically referred to as the “rice paddy” tan… she’s just trying to connect to her roots…
g | June 19, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I’m a lesbian and I would turn around and run if I saw that disgusting troll coming for me in the night…
Harley Quinn | June 19, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Honestly women have taken this brozing/tanning shit outta hand
it looks gross
Whats wrong with your natural skin color?
Look at ann hathaway, natural and beautiful
FRIST!!! | June 19, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Hey! When I ordered I explicitly said NO MSG!!!
Lola | June 19, 2008 at 3:55 pm
someone needs to shoot this little chinese man ASAP
kolit | June 19, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Talk about a butter face. She is the worst.
Auntie Kryst | June 19, 2008 at 4:06 pm
@32 No Mistah eet prorounced “bah tah” face.
@21 Hahaha
Lola | June 19, 2008 at 4:06 pm
#8
Bathed in soy sauce….. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha….. that hits it right on point and so true… LMAO
Randal | June 19, 2008 at 4:09 pm
I… I just cannot come up with anything nice to say today about you anymore Tila and I regret doing so on Jun 17 2008. A celebrity, I can do it. Even Heidi has more pull with me but nope, not with this one ever again.
Randal is done with Tila and Randal is done with the Hogans.
STRIKE TWO FISH!
Randal
Cherry | June 19, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Randal?
Lori | June 19, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I’m an esthetician – here’s my take on where she went wrong…
She looks like she used too much self-tanner and didn’t properly rinse away the “tint” that shows you where the lotions been applied, before going out. And that tint seeped into her pores causing what looks like darker spots. It looks very uneven, and as another commentator said, she stained her hands with it – a tell tale sign of self-tanner misuse! Her skin looks very oily and bumpy, which is probably the excess oil building up under all that self-tanner causing clogged pores and breakouts. Well done, Tila!
Juniper | June 19, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Bitch is greasy!
http://www.funderoos.com | June 19, 2008 at 4:19 pm
somebody needs an appointment with the eye wrangler.. they are drifting again!
Cherry | June 19, 2008 at 4:29 pm
#21 was there really any need?
DarkSecret | June 19, 2008 at 4:32 pm
I’m the grumpy old troll…..who lives under the bridge…..i’m the grumpy ole troll…who live under the bridge…..
Tom | June 19, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Ugh, she looks AWFUL. What a hideous girl. I will be so glad when her career is finally over and I won’t have to hear about her again.
Racer X | June 19, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Tila Tequila’s a shot of Valtrex.
/Slore
allie | June 19, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Since you asked, Superfish:
1. She uses too many products (moisturiser, make up, treatments, tanners) on her skin so her pores are clogged and her skin is greasy. And greasy skin is a terrible base for fake tan, so it’s a vicious circle.
2. She used the wrong shade for her skin tone.
3. She didn’t exfoliate first, and didn’t spread the tan on evenly.
4. She put bronzer on her scary face on top of make up which was on top of the tan.
5. Because bisexual leprechauns have magic mirrors like in Snow White. Obviously. Hers told her she was relevant.
jay | June 19, 2008 at 5:33 pm
i like how half (if not more) of the comments are clearly racist. if she were a black woman, would any of you be making comments about her being a nigg**, telling her to get back on the plantation, do what your masta told ya to do, etc??
i’m one for ripping on celebs, but to be racist is to show exactly how ignorant and uneducated you are. Disgusting. Your parents must have been ignorant and uneducated and passed it along down to you through your upbringing.
jay | June 19, 2008 at 5:33 pm
i like (sarcasm) how half (if not more) of the comments are clearly racist. if she were a black woman, would any of you be making comments about her being a nigg**, telling her to get back on the plantation, do what your masta told ya to do, etc??
i’m one for ripping on celebs, but to be racist is to show exactly how ignorant and uneducated you are. Disgusting. Your parents must have been ignorant and uneducated and passed it along down to you through your upbringing.
sloane | June 19, 2008 at 5:37 pm
She has an oily t-zone, get her some Clean and clear blotting papers stat!
Shecky Vegas | June 19, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Hey Rainbow Coalition, yeah you 44 & 45, you only need to hit the damn post comment button once.
Mike Hawk | June 19, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Listen bitch, climb back into that tree, and dont come back without my E.L. Fudge cookies.
Kate | June 19, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Tsk tsk. Why did she do it…..asians already have a nice skin color. But whatever, this chick will always look like a walking alien with an 8 year old body or an elf. But you know, if she weren’t so fucking annoying and fake and well just plain disgusting and making ignorant, egotistical statements like “i’m the reason gays can marry in CA” then she’d be a lot more likeable, despite her flat elf face…..Fish please stop giving her attention, she eats it up. She’s only famous for skanking it up on myspace and pretending to be gay.
STevec | June 19, 2008 at 7:47 pm
she’s a deep-fried pumpkin head…..ugh