Tila Tequila is NOT pregnant. Yet.

January 4th, 2010 // 37 Comments

So remember when Tila Tequila said she’s pregnant and a surrogate mother for her brother? She basically pulled that shit out of her leprechaun ass. For the most part. Us Magazine reports:

“I said I’m going to become a surrogate mother for my brother and his wife. That means I’m going to be pregnant. But the words ‘going to be’ didn’t fit,” she explained. (Twitter posts are limited to 140 characters.) “So I said ‘I’m pregnant.’ I’m not, but I’m going to be.”
She says she called her brother immediately after Tweeting — not before. “They’ve very country,” she explained, noting that he’s unaware of her Twitter feed. “They live in Texas and don’t get online. that’s why I just go crazy on the Internet because I know [my family's] not watching.”

FERTILITY DOCTOR: And implantation is almost complete. Wait a minute. That can’t be right. The fetus is trying to crawl out. Oh, my God, it’s got a gun! It’s putting it in it’s mout- NOOOO!
TILA: Don’t worry about it. I just tweeted I’m having twins. Unprotected sex?
DOCTOR: A fetus just shot itself in your birth canal.
TILA: And?

superficial

  1. I

    I want to eat her ass.

  2. brrrrrrrr

    first?

  3. I think you meant the fetus is “slipping out” of her cavernous vagina!

    She may have to sew it up for the duration of her “going to be” pregnancy…

    http://www.thegirlsguidetodepravity.com/

  4. Randal

    Hi there Tila! Just wanted to stop in and let you know I think you’re seriously on the cutting edge of style and attitude. Your outfits go so well with your personality and flare. Plus, kissing another girl in public shows the confidence you have in yourself as a woman.

    Great to still see you flirting with the entertainment industry and all of your fans here at The FISH!

    Randal

  5. By saying that “they’re very country” is she implying that she’s going to get pregnant with her brothers child the old fashioned way?

  6. lalo

    first

  7. Fribble

    What, this skank-whore dwarf isn’t dead YET?
    C’mon California, I know you’re all laid back and lazy and shit, but *Christ!*, I can’t believe nobody had the free time to whack this STD spreading midget.
    Get it in gear, or get gone.

  8. Fribble

    I can hear the fetus now: “Christ, what a low-rent dump! I didn’t order a reservation at the shoebox room at Motel Six! There’s no fucking room in here! Hell, I don’t even have room to pee! Wait… what’s that? Uhhh… nice STD… You just stay on your side of the uterus, and I’ll stay on mine, ok? And that goes for your other 26 slimey-disease friends!”

  9. Jimmy

    She’s trash, through and through! Oh yeah, add skank!

  10. Drew

    Whatever, all the people claiming she’s disgusting would eat her ass with a spoon if given the chance. Get over yourselves.

  11. mcfeely smackup

    So basically the headline is: “Tila Tequila found to be a liar yet again”

  12. Doc Schweinstrudel

    EEEW!!!

  13. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Can’t touch this!

  14. pelvis

    This story was in Life & Style two weeks ago:

    http://www.lifeandstylemag.com/2009/12/tila-tequila.html

    US Weekly is pathetic.

  15. hacksaw

    Call me.

  16. Megan Fox's Dick Thumb

    I think pic #4 was at the Jerry Lewis telethon. The girl she is posing with was born with down syndrome by the looks of it.

  17. Stupid whore

    Official tila tequila theme song:

    “Oh, me so horny,
    oh, me so horny,
    oh, me so horny,
    me love you longtime…”

  18. renfield

    That’s right, Tila. The internet does not exist in Texas.

  19. wanks

    What a fucking dumb bitch! I live in Texas and I’m sure I’m more technologically advanced than this bitch! Email by longhorn biotch!!!

  20. Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker PhD

    This dumb bitch’s eyes are too far apart. She’s a freak, and a moron.

  21. Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker PhD

    Ha ha, bitch’s girlfriend Johnson just died. Watch her milk it for publicity!

  22. lindsey

    Casey Johnson (Tila’s fiancee) is dead.

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  25. Yeah...right

    Narcissism as its best.

  26. Yeah...right

    Narcissism at its best.

  27. Well I guess she would herself not know when she is carrying a baby.

  28. Is she pregnant or what does she mean.

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    thanks for the post

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