Tila Tequila is goddamn retarded

By: The Superficial / December 4, 2009

Because famewhoring is her oxygen, Tila Tequila decided today she’d champion the Internet meme spouted off by asshats that Rihanna has herpes which is why Chris Brown beat her. And why would Tila Tequila do this? Apparently in a radio interview this morning Rihanna was asked who she could “turn off” if she had a remote and mentioned Tila. Most likely because Tila – the same Asian leprechaun who nakedly demanded Shawne Merriman’s head on a pike – defended Chris Brown on her blog. Via The Examiner:

“NOTE TO CHRIS BROWN: I honestly think that you have paid your dues, and I’m definitely on TEAM CHRIS NOW! GO CHRIS! YOU CAN MAKE YOUR COMEBACK AND I FULLY SUPPORT YOU! You have admitted to what you did, and apologized numerous times, You have learned from your mistakes and I think people should really leave that in the past now and let you do your thing. TEAM CHRIS! Love ya baby! And Im glad we squased that beef we had! Love ya!”

Here’s an excerpt from Tila’s novel-length post today that I’m not going to link to because I hate myself for even writing her name:

So everyone, yes…..I heard from legit sources, that is the HUGE SECRET our prestine, perfect little Princess RiRi, the “IDOL” has been hiding from the media. A very close source of mine, who works in the same legal camp as Rihanna, has told me that the reason why Rihanna wasn’t speaking out about the CHRIS BROWN incident is because there was a catch 22 in it. Rihanna has herpes, and….well……I don’t wanna put anyone else on blast, but Rihanna has herpes and gave someone else herpes that she had slept with.
My sources are very legit, and they work in Rihanna’s legal camp, and that is how I know! SO RIHANNA HAS HERPES, STD’S & WAS SCARED TO SPEAK OUT ABOUT IT CUZ SHE DIDN’T WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT SHE HAS HERPES AND INFECTED SOMEONE ELSE WITH IT! BAD RIHANNA!

Two things: 1. Is Tila Tequila seriously getting on a soapbox about the transmission of STDs? Tila Tequila. And 2. Does anyone actually believe she’s close to any type of “source” that isn’t the tip of a penis in front of a webcam? Of course, on the positive side of this ordeal, now Internet fuckheads can’t repeat the Rihanna herpes meme without legitimizing Tila Tequila in the process thereby effectively killing it. A fact I’m sure was completely lost on Tila as she defied the laws of sound by somehow writing in shrill.

Photos: Splash News