Tila Tequila is addicted, you guys

Tila Tequila has announced on her blog that she’s addicted to “prescription pills” (Ambien, apparently) except it’s all just an calculated excuse to star on the new season Celebrity Rehab. Here’s Tila trying to sell how genuine her addiction is only to turn around and basically reveal VH1 offered her own show if she pretends to be a tiny little addict. Those Joe Francis mentoring sessions are really paying off:

So all you haters, who keeps saying mean shit, hiding behing your laptop and talking shit about me, not because you actually care, but you’re just being a cyber bully! So now that I’m actually getting help, and that takaes a lot of courage, and I know my TILA ARMY will support me through this journey and continue to support me….. but what will you haters do now? I’m finally getting help, shouldn’t you people support those who can finally admit that they have a problem? NOPE! So haters, just shut you’re mouths. SAY IT TO ME IN PERSON AND IT’S A DIFFERENT STORY!! But for now, all you loser haters can sit and hide behind your computer on your fat lazy asses not doing anything with you’re life besides stalking me and bashing my fans. Haters, if I CAN ADMIT THAT I NEED HELP, MAYBE IT’S TIME FOR YOU TOO, ADMITTING THAT YOU NEED HELP FOR CYBERBULLYING PEOPLE AND STALKING THEM 247!
With that said our OMG sources found out that if I do well on “CELEBRITY REHAB” and continue to stay sober, that VH1 May pick up my OWN SPIN OFF SHOW ABOUT MY LIFE SOBER NOW AND HOW I CAN HANDLE BEING A MOGUL, AND STILL TRY TO MEET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! IT’s gong to be very raw and real.

To fully illustrate the depths of Tila’s attention-whoring, if someone told her she could be on TV if she sprouted a penis, she’d be out back hosing her clit with Miracle-Gro faster than you could say “Why does it smell like shamrocks and teriyaki in here?” True story.

Photos: WENN