Tila Tequila is addicted, you guys

May 25th, 2010 // 75 Comments

Tila Tequila has announced on her blog that she’s addicted to “prescription pills” (Ambien, apparently) except it’s all just an calculated excuse to star on the new season Celebrity Rehab. Here’s Tila trying to sell how genuine her addiction is only to turn around and basically reveal VH1 offered her own show if she pretends to be a tiny little addict. Those Joe Francis mentoring sessions are really paying off:

So all you haters, who keeps saying mean shit, hiding behing your laptop and talking shit about me, not because you actually care, but you’re just being a cyber bully! So now that I’m actually getting help, and that takaes a lot of courage, and I know my TILA ARMY will support me through this journey and continue to support me….. but what will you haters do now? I’m finally getting help, shouldn’t you people support those who can finally admit that they have a problem? NOPE! So haters, just shut you’re mouths. SAY IT TO ME IN PERSON AND IT’S A DIFFERENT STORY!! But for now, all you loser haters can sit and hide behind your computer on your fat lazy asses not doing anything with you’re life besides stalking me and bashing my fans. Haters, if I CAN ADMIT THAT I NEED HELP, MAYBE IT’S TIME FOR YOU TOO, ADMITTING THAT YOU NEED HELP FOR CYBERBULLYING PEOPLE AND STALKING THEM 247!
With that said our OMG sources found out that if I do well on “CELEBRITY REHAB” and continue to stay sober, that VH1 May pick up my OWN SPIN OFF SHOW ABOUT MY LIFE SOBER NOW AND HOW I CAN HANDLE BEING A MOGUL, AND STILL TRY TO MEET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! IT’s gong to be very raw and real.

To fully illustrate the depths of Tila’s attention-whoring, if someone told her she could be on TV if she sprouted a penis, she’d be out back hosing her clit with Miracle-Gro faster than you could say “Why does it smell like shamrocks and teriyaki in here?” True story.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. aah!

    shovel face!

  2. What???

    I hope the triangle headed slope OD’s…this walking STD needs to go away.

  3. havoc

    If we could just get this chick into Brittany Murphy’s bathroom…….

    .

  4. Really?

    I wonder if KTLA feels stupid for letting her on live high as a kite. She forgot the words to the one song she wrote herself. It was quite a cluster fuck.

  5. blah

    Shouldn’t there be a star covering that nip slip on picture 2.

  6. Dosadi

    Anyone else notice the nipple in the second pic? Hehehe…nipple.

  7. giRL

    DEGENERATE FUCKING WHORE STFU. Seriously, someone needs to really fucking shut this trash up.

  8. Toasty

    There an obvious nipple in pic three.

  9. Dosadi

    Also, taint stain…

  10. Uuuh, I love the boots :D

  11. GiRL

    No, there shouldn’t be a star because The Superficial doesn’t star out slutty alien nipples.

  12. Parker

    What I want to know is, what’s a TILA army? Is it like, two fat chicks with squirt guns full of Hawaiian Punch and a guy holding a bag of Doritos?

  13. wtf

    I guess she forgot about that part of 1st grade when we learned about the difference between “your” and “you’re.”

  14. HAHAHA That backlink to Tila’s Blog was awesome!

  15. Mike Nike

    She hasn’t done anything with her life. Shes trying to survive on tits and pussy.

  16. ranish

    Dear Tila,

    We don’t hate you because we are “haters;” we hate you because you are you.

    Just so you know.

    Love,

    The World.

  17. Gando

    I see she’s going the same artistic direction as Lady GaGa is going.

  18. direchef

    As a recovering addict I find this a disgusting ploy conceived by a fame whore oompa loompa. May her Ambien “addiction” take her to the ends of the Earth and to new and ever dropping lows.

  19. She’s a mogul?

    She *wishes* she was Lady Gaga.

  20. She’s a mogul?

    She *wishes* she was Lady Gaga.

  21. Cartman

    Addicted to fame whoring.

  22. FrankNfrtr

    Mental illness as performance art.
    I predict Heidi Montag will be doing something quite similar in the near future.

  23. Anonymous

    Being a mogul? This trash is delusional.

  24. e

    so shes addicted to attention and shes gonna get cured so she will go away?
    sounds good 2 me.

  25. Saturday

    Uh, I don’t think that teriyaki is Vietnamese, darling.

  26. JD

    Would somebody please tell me what it is that this hideous twat is supposedly famous for?

  27. AZrock

    ShamrockS and Teriyaki, ha ha, classic….
    STOP LOOKING AT ME CO-WORKERS!!!!

  28. Deacon Jones

    Tila,

    I’m not a hater! There’s something about an asian with a blond wig and fake tits that has a drug problem that GETS ME ROCK HARD. Call me.

  29. Sport

    What a fucking freak.

  30. Sport

    What a fucking freak.

    -Cyber Bully

  31. Lame

    thanks for the double-post, Chrome.

  32. KWDragon

    Actually, the Vietnamese sauce is nuoc mam. Teriyaki is Japanese.

    If you go with nuoc mam, it smells like fermented fish, and that makes the description PERFECT.

    It also sounds dirty when you say it. :-)

  33. eatme

    yup, attention whoring with fake addictions is exactly what i thought when i read about her being on the show this morning. what a flake. i liked her back in the day when she was still miss Nguyen, took her clothes off and kept her mouth shut.

  34. She's an IDIOT

    Tough talk from a porn whore. As far as I can understand, her only talents seem to be giving blowj*bs, attempting to sing such classy song titles like “I f*cked the DJ” and bending over to show off her ass & crotch.

    Attention, braindead moron known as tila “vietcong hooker” tequila: there’s a reason people hate you. It’s because you act in a manner intended to do only one thing: rub people the wrong way & greatly annoy them. No one likes that. Stop being such a self important loser & act like a normal human being…

  35. bar room hero

    what a slag, looks like some kind of extraterrestrial whore…

    seriously, what the fuck???

  36. salsa

    Porno gnome!

  37. Really?

    Oh her addiction is quite real. Watch her KTLA performance. She’s so fucking high is absolutely hilarious. You expect her to lick the wall to see if the snozberries really do taste like snozberries.

  38. stucco

    Wait, I thought she was pregnant.

    Bitch needs to make up her mind on her crazy.

  39. She blows... literally

    I just love watching her get interviewed.

    Interviewer: “Leg spread slutty whore says “what?”"
    Tila Tequila: “What?”

  40. Alex Milstein

    Of course, she only made the courageous decision to seek help when she could do that on a weekly TV series.

    Rehab never entered her consciousness until she heard that Dr Drew was desperate for wacked out has-beens.

  41. Alex Milstein

    Of course, she only made the courageous decision to seek help when she could do that on a weekly TV series.

    Rehab never entered her consciousness until she heard that Dr Drew was desperate for wacked out has-beens.

  42. argleblargle

    I love how she thinks her haters do nothing with their lives but hate on her. Sorry Tila, but it doesn’t take the rest of the world nearly as long to come up with an insult for you as if takes you to think of a comeback.

  43. the gooch

    The only reality show i want to see this little retard on is Celebrity Bloodletting Competition

  44. Dread not

    Tila, if you’re STILL lookin’ for love after all this time, maybe that’s because LOVE saw your crazy, orange on a toothpick ginormous headed, attention whoring ass, comin’ from a fuckin’ mile away and decided to hide out until you gave up trying to find it. Sounds kind of like every dude/chick you have hooked up with, don’t it? And those are just the ones who don’t deliberately O.D. to get the hell away from you. So STFU, be thankful that the American public has tolerated your skank ass for as long as it has, and give serious consideration to talking a walk into an oncoming train. Your irrelevance is matched in magnitude only by your sense of relevance… in short; GO THE FUCK AWAY, BOBBLEHEAD! How’s that for some cyber bullying, B-otch?!

  45. mer

    She’s a mogul alright.

    Moguls live under bridges, right?

  46. Wade Sheeler

    Dude, what’s happened to your writing skills? Are you doling out your assignments to an inferior writer, or are you just not proofreading?

  47. Shockman

    Didn’t know mogul was vietchink for useless piece of shit. My bad.

  48. ha, yeah. I blogged about this.
    I go to her blog just to read the comments.
    I get lots of thumbs up.

    http://zennie2005.blogspot.com/2010/05/tila-tequila-heads-to-rehab-by-nikky.html

  49. Jenn

    Ugh- she is disgusting .

  50. ROUGH appeal

    Haters? has she deploy the Tila “army” in the Poconos yet?

Leave A Comment