Tila Tequila & Billy Corgan? Why not?

Dearest Diary,

When my brother Fester returned home from the war in Vietnam, I was naturally elated when he arrived with his new bride, Tila. She brought a spring to his step never seen heretofore. And, oh, how the children loved to hide her in small pots and mugs. Such splendid times.

But this morning, she blew another kiss at me at the breakfast table leaving no immediate recourse but to use her tiny body as a tetherball until she revealed the location of her Lucky Charms.

One day I hope Fester will forgive me.

Yours truly,
Gomez Addams

Photos: Getty