Now that Ustream videos are involved, it was only a matter of time until Tila Tequila realized living with Charlie Sheen is the prostitution job she’s been waiting her whole life for. In an interview with Hollywood Life, she makes her case to not only be a “goddess,” but be the only one he’ll ever need. Which is great considering she’s two feet tall and apparently missed all that talk about him hating trolls and loving guns. I can see this working out:
“I could definitely do a better job than [Bree Olson and Natalie Kenly] can,” Tila says. “He won’t need anyone else around. There’d only be one goddess. I could show Chucky a good time — but also help him out.”
As someone who admits to having her own public “meltdown,” Tila believes she can be a real asset to Charlie in his time of need.
“I think what he doesn’t realize is that people aren’t laughing with him — they are laughing at him.”
Keep in mind Casey Johnson, the last out-of-control drug addict Tila Tequila lived with died, so who wants to help me build a catapult outside Sober Valley Lodge? I figure we can have her flying over the gate by nightfall if we start now. In the meantime, Charlie doesn’t sit around comparing his life to medieval combat does he? I just don’t want him shooting Tila down with a crossbow before she does whatever it is she does that causes people to OD. (Talking? I’m going with talking.)
Photos: INFdaily, Splash News
Boobs
PLEASE Charlie, PLEASE take her up on her offer. then take her and all your worthless skanky hookers and drive off a cliff.
Not First! Who can blame her steeeze tho
Here’s hoping to Charlie,
mid-coitus with Tila,
lops her head off with a machete while screaming something about warlocks.
Hopefully,
some of her blood will get in his mouth during this impressive feat of multi-tasking and he’ll die of aids.
I hear ya…too bad pod people can’t get aids.
Hear that, kids? That’s the sound of a famewhore hitchin’ up to a famewhore-train.
I was wondering what that sound was, thanks for the explanation. Plus you made me laugh. thanks
New MTV reality show, called “Crazy Fucker and the Whore,” debuting in 3…2…1…
By all means Tila, walk up to a man about to go full Phil Spector, and tell him people are laughing AT him and not WITH him. We’ll consider it a scientific experiment. I’ll be the control subject over here. Aaand action!
no shit. odds are he’ll shoot her, slit her throat, or choke her with his bare hands. whichever way it ends out we’re all WINNING
When Tila Tequila becomes the voice of reason, perhaps you’re no longer ‘winning’….
haha!
That’s one nasty slant! Go away and take Charlie with you.
i think she looks way pretty again, finally off that fuckin bleach
Man she tries so hard to stay relevant.
1) Was Engaged
2) Trys to suck up the spotlight after Casey Johnson dies
3) She’s pregnant
4) Releases Sextape
5) This
you left out at least two other “pregnancies” and one “adopting a child”.
Women and their need for monogamy. I guess even whores do it.
she’s 30 this fall, probly lookin to get her MRS degree soon..
So she is basically admitting that she is a porn star/hooker. She also must really like anal if she thinks she can be better than Bree Olson.
She’s confirming that she is actually a whore. Guess Japanese business men weren’t working for her.
You don’t need a catapult, a slingshot will suffice.
this famewhore talentless troll already killed one milionaire drug addict.
looks sooo much better with black hair again. i’d such a crush on her 5 yrs ago, before those vile tats. if she’d remove those next it’ll be me moving in with her
Call me crazy, but I kind of like Tila. She’s cute and has interesting takes on things. Sure, she’s not perfect, but who is?
Cute? Clean the crap out of your eyes. And when you consider the person attached to the looks, that’s when you realize just how ugly she is.
Tila Tequila…the only “celebrity” to release a sex tape, and have it met with a resounding lack of interest. People have been quoted saying “didn’t she already have a sex tape? no? what is she famous for then? I don’t even care, can I get some fire sauce for my chalupa?”
That’s some pretty bad shit when Tila Tequila points is sober enough to point out people are laughing at you.
No, she’s high enough to not realize that she’s nothing but a joke, and despite Sheen’s crazy Tiger Blood, he’s still more respected than she is.
I can see this working! They can get a reality show just like Whitney and Bobby except with lower ratings, more crack, and less classy sophistication. Winning!
I honestly think Tila is incredibly beautiful from head to toes. She always looks awsome. But that’s all there is to her.
I still would.
well now we know what she uses to perfect her hand job skills
She isn’t qualified.
A goddess huh? This sounds like a great idea – gods & goddesses aren’t mortal right? So she needs to prove it by dying first then coming back. The second part is optional I feel.
Tila Tequila is proof of just how much we lost in Vietnam.
Id hate to admit it but thats got to be the quote of the day
two generations later and we have evidence that the people of vietnam continue to be ravaged by the horrors of agent orange (I mean the toxin, not Snookie).
Tila is a joke, everyone laughs AT her on everything she does to stretch that 15 minutes another day.
I can’t believe I am saying this, but she looks really pretty there.
However, she needs to disappear.
Your momma was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries.
I fart in her general direction.
Leave now or I will taunt you a second time!
She’s just trying to find better coke. I really would love to see Charlie with her, hopefully is aim has improved after Kelly Preston. Then media sites would stop reporting her every bid for attention. If you ignore this black labia’d troll, she will either go away, or kill herself trying for attention. Either way it’s a win-win for us.
The comedy that writes itself. What a leech.
Exactly, especially when you’re trying to alter the concept of being a whore…
well, if releasing a porn tape doesn’t shed your whore image, then I’m all out of ideas.
She actually looks pretty good here. Too bad she’s a lesbian and Charlie’s a man, right? Right?
Lesbian? It’s called Gay for Pay.
If Kloe Kardashian was gang banged by Snap, Crackle, and Pop, that would be the offspring.
Fastball. Lawn gnomes need not apply. Deal with it.
A praying mantis with a horizontal vagina and a Vatican assasin……
Sure why not?
.
so that would be 2 1/2 women then…
She looks pretty.
wherever there is money, you can be sure Tila will be there.
she’ll do anything for money
While I was scrolling down, before her face came into view I thought for sure it was Kim Kardashian. Then I saw the whole picture and I sat here shivering for a while.
Damn, she actually looks decent sans blonde hair.
I say she goes and hangs with lohan.
She’s just kicking herself that the other skank got a check for 30k and she didn’t.
the funniest part is: “they’re laughing at him (Sheen) not with him” What does Tila think the majority of people are doing to her?? Pure comical irony! LOL.
Famewhore or not…he could do worse. She’s at least fcukable.
I mean, yeah, it would be like throwing a hotdog into a bucket…but not a bad looking bucket.