Tila Tequila Wants To Be a ‘Goddess’

March 9th, 2011 // 60 Comments

Now that Ustream videos are involved, it was only a matter of time until Tila Tequila realized living with Charlie Sheen is the prostitution job she’s been waiting her whole life for. In an interview with Hollywood Life, she makes her case to not only be a “goddess,” but be the only one he’ll ever need. Which is great considering she’s two feet tall and apparently missed all that talk about him hating trolls and loving guns. I can see this working out:

“I could definitely do a better job than [Bree Olson and Natalie Kenly] can,” Tila says. “He won’t need anyone else around. There’d only be one goddess. I could show Chucky a good time — but also help him out.”
As someone who admits to having her own public “meltdown,” Tila believes she can be a real asset to Charlie in his time of need.
“I think what he doesn’t realize is that people aren’t laughing with him — they are laughing at him.”

Keep in mind Casey Johnson, the last out-of-control drug addict Tila Tequila lived with died, so who wants to help me build a catapult outside Sober Valley Lodge? I figure we can have her flying over the gate by nightfall if we start now. In the meantime, Charlie doesn’t sit around comparing his life to medieval combat does he? I just don’t want him shooting Tila down with a crossbow before she does whatever it is she does that causes people to OD. (Talking? I’m going with talking.)

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Boobs

    Boobs

  2. Any Guy

    PLEASE Charlie, PLEASE take her up on her offer. then take her and all your worthless skanky hookers and drive off a cliff.

  3. Kizza

    Not First! Who can blame her steeeze tho

  4. Bumpguy

    Here’s hoping to Charlie,
    mid-coitus with Tila,
    lops her head off with a machete while screaming something about warlocks.

    Hopefully,
    some of her blood will get in his mouth during this impressive feat of multi-tasking and he’ll die of aids.

  5. Hear that, kids? That’s the sound of a famewhore hitchin’ up to a famewhore-train.

  6. JC

    New MTV reality show, called “Crazy Fucker and the Whore,” debuting in 3…2…1…

  7. slappy magoo

    By all means Tila, walk up to a man about to go full Phil Spector, and tell him people are laughing AT him and not WITH him. We’ll consider it a scientific experiment. I’ll be the control subject over here. Aaand action!

  8. Sarakiel

    When Tila Tequila becomes the voice of reason, perhaps you’re no longer ‘winning’….

  9. CC

    That’s one nasty slant! Go away and take Charlie with you.

  10. That Guy

    Man she tries so hard to stay relevant.

    1) Was Engaged

    2) Trys to suck up the spotlight after Casey Johnson dies

    3) She’s pregnant

    4) Releases Sextape

    5) This

  11. oohlilit

    Women and their need for monogamy. I guess even whores do it.

  12. So she is basically admitting that she is a porn star/hooker. She also must really like anal if she thinks she can be better than Bree Olson.

    • Laughable

      She’s confirming that she is actually a whore. Guess Japanese business men weren’t working for her.

  13. jake_ryan

    You don’t need a catapult, a slingshot will suffice.

  14. Tila Tequila Charlie Sheen Goddess
    boli
    Commented on this photo:

    this famewhore talentless troll already killed one milionaire drug addict.

  15. Tila Tequila Charlie Sheen Goddess
    Commented on this photo:

    looks sooo much better with black hair again. i’d such a crush on her 5 yrs ago, before those vile tats. if she’d remove those next it’ll be me moving in with her

  16. Aja

    Call me crazy, but I kind of like Tila. She’s cute and has interesting takes on things. Sure, she’s not perfect, but who is?

    • CC

      Cute? Clean the crap out of your eyes. And when you consider the person attached to the looks, that’s when you realize just how ugly she is.

  17. Tila Tequila…the only “celebrity” to release a sex tape, and have it met with a resounding lack of interest. People have been quoted saying “didn’t she already have a sex tape? no? what is she famous for then? I don’t even care, can I get some fire sauce for my chalupa?”

  18. argleblargle

    That’s some pretty bad shit when Tila Tequila points is sober enough to point out people are laughing at you.

    • Laughable

      No, she’s high enough to not realize that she’s nothing but a joke, and despite Sheen’s crazy Tiger Blood, he’s still more respected than she is.

  19. spinal

    I can see this working! They can get a reality show just like Whitney and Bobby except with lower ratings, more crack, and less classy sophistication. Winning!

  20. Legionario Cruel

    I honestly think Tila is incredibly beautiful from head to toes. She always looks awsome. But that’s all there is to her.

  21. Tila Tequila Charlie Sheen Goddess
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    I still would.

  22. Tila Tequila Charlie Sheen Goddess
    suck it
    Commented on this photo:

    well now we know what she uses to perfect her hand job skills

  23. Champ

    She isn’t qualified.

  24. blowdart

    A goddess huh? This sounds like a great idea – gods & goddesses aren’t mortal right? So she needs to prove it by dying first then coming back. The second part is optional I feel.

  25. Tila Tequila is proof of just how much we lost in Vietnam.

  26. poop

    Tila is a joke, everyone laughs AT her on everything she does to stretch that 15 minutes another day.

  27. Clarence Beeks

    I can’t believe I am saying this, but she looks really pretty there.

    However, she needs to disappear.

  28. NattyB

    Your momma was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries.

  29. Laughable

    She’s just trying to find better coke. I really would love to see Charlie with her, hopefully is aim has improved after Kelly Preston. Then media sites would stop reporting her every bid for attention. If you ignore this black labia’d troll, she will either go away, or kill herself trying for attention. Either way it’s a win-win for us.

  30. The comedy that writes itself. What a leech.

  31. It had to be said

    She actually looks pretty good here. Too bad she’s a lesbian and Charlie’s a man, right? Right?

  32. RedFuzzyJesus

    If Kloe Kardashian was gang banged by Snap, Crackle, and Pop, that would be the offspring.

  33. Fastball. Lawn gnomes need not apply. Deal with it.

  34. A praying mantis with a horizontal vagina and a Vatican assasin……

    Sure why not?

    .

  35. Tila Tequila Charlie Sheen Goddess
    x
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks pretty.

  36. anonym

    wherever there is money, you can be sure Tila will be there.

    she’ll do anything for money

  37. Brooke

    While I was scrolling down, before her face came into view I thought for sure it was Kim Kardashian. Then I saw the whole picture and I sat here shivering for a while.

  38. Tila Tequila Charlie Sheen Goddess
    Hoosah
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, she actually looks decent sans blonde hair.

  39. DarthBlue

    I say she goes and hangs with lohan.

  40. Guruona mountain

    She’s just kicking herself that the other skank got a check for 30k and she didn’t.

  41. butterflybeyotch

    the funniest part is: “they’re laughing at him (Sheen) not with him” What does Tila think the majority of people are doing to her?? Pure comical irony! LOL.

  42. Dirk Diggler

    Famewhore or not…he could do worse. She’s at least fcukable.
    I mean, yeah, it would be like throwing a hotdog into a bucket…but not a bad looking bucket.

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