Tila Tequila Knows Who Really Killed Paul Walker Because She Was Hitler In A Former Life

December 9th, 2013 // 47 Comments
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The last time we saw Tila Tequila she had assumed a new form as a gun-toting libertarian filled with parenting advice and InfoWars-level conspiracy theories. Since then she’s double-downed on that last part and has evolved into a pure being of truth that has visited our dimension several times before in various different forms. (Read: Hitler. Tila Tequila was Hitler.) And if there’s one thing pure energy beings love its Facebook. They can’t get enough of the shit and piling more shit onto that shit:

I know who killed Elisa Lam. The Mysterious Video of the Girl in Elevator who ended up “mysteriously dead” at the bottom of a closed off water tank. – I believe I am the only person on this entire planet who knows what happened. I knew it the first time news of the strange video started circulating the internet weeks ago. I have just kept my mouth shut because there is a lot more to it and of course…. cases like this.. I just did not want to draw any attention to myself but I know exactly why they did it and yes it was indeed a ritualistic murder. Just like Paul Walker’s. However, for Lam’s case I have so much detail that it may blow your mind. I know it blew my mind and that’s why I was debating on weather or not I should blog about it as I did not want to have anything to do with it… except for the fact that this ritual murder was directly linked to my ritual murder last year….. So… kinda makes it hard for me to talk about.

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Tickle me wee bonny testicles with your midget fingers, that’s a whole load of truth! Tell me through the magic of song.” SHALAKA-THEJEWSDIDIT-ZAM!

And because Tila Tequila is a kind and benevolent goddess she has made the lyrics readily available so that one might tattoo them upon their temple and cry “PORK CHOPS!” in the face of Zionists:

Everytime you hear my name it’s going down, goin down X 4
Feeding yo mind with GMOS
while givin yo babies flo flo
not flo rida but flo ride
that shit that burns yo third eye

Jewluminati motherfuckers hate me
Oh no they don’t wanna date me
Nor you nor you nor you too
Worldwide Genocide blame it on the jews

So now they call me a nazi
no bitch I’m just good at yhatzee
Espionage is my middle name HA!
I got you good while rolling through yo hood

Hitler no Hi Tila
Hitler no Hit Tila
Hitler No Hi Tila

Same shit…

“I am so going to listen to that while stabbing a woman to death in the middle of anal sex.” – Mel Gibson

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  1. What the actual fuck?

  2. Here’s hoping she knows who killed Tila Tequila.

  3. She is bat shit crazy and makes just as much sense as the crazy bum downtown who screams at garbage cans.

  4. That is the first time I’ve ever heard someone rhyme “Nazi” with “yahtzee”.

  5. Suck it

    I thought those lyrics were a joke from Fish. Holy fucking shit, they are real.

  6. I’m pretty sure Tila posts here. She’s the one with the apricots cure cancer stuff and the mass shooting false flag operation stuff. mismy, maybe..? I can’t remember.

  7. Deacon Jones

    Great, I have enough problems getting Courtney Stodden’s song out of my head, now I have to jerk off listening to this?

  8. Good gods…. so…. that’s a thing that happened now. Somewhere, right now Mel Gibson is violently masturbating to this screaming “Someone else understands!!!” Wonder how much further down the rabbit hole she’s gonna go, and if there will be accompanying “music”…

  9. JC

    Does she realize that the brave warriors who would embrace her message (Zionist conspriacy! Illuminati!) also hate Asian people?

    • Thom

      Well, Hitler respected Asian people. He considered the Japanese “honorary Aryans.”

      “I have never regarded the Chinese or the Japanese as being inferior to ourselves. They belong to ancient civilizations, and I admit freely that their past history is superior to our own. They have the right to be proud of their past, just as we have the right to be proud of the civilization to which we belong. Indeed, I believe the more steadfast the Chinese and the Japanese remain in their pride of race, the easier I shall find it to get on with them.”

      Not that his craziness makes her craziness any less crazy.

  10. Truth bombs? Is that like Carlos Estevez’s Torpedo of Truth?

  11. In light of all the shit that MTV has unleashed upon the world, I think it’s time we classify them as a terrorist organization.

  12. Snapcount

    Well she’s certainly crazy

    But most of the american media companies & banks are run by members of the ethno-religious group who refers to themselves as jews. It’s common knowledge.

  13. How wonderful this bat-nut crazy asian decided to grace us with nazi love of course nazi equals scumbag.Get her back on her meds, have her smoke a joint whatever to shut her up.

  14. its always easier to take someone seriously if they already know the difference between “weather” and “whether”.

  15. How do you fit 180lbs of crazy into a 95lb body?

    fucking magnets!

  16. Dox

    And now, a truth bomb from Tila Tequila.

    You know what’s wrong with this world? Too many pussy bitches and not enough heroes. That’s what’s wrong with this cowardly world. Don’t be a pussy bitch. Nobody likes pussy bitches. I sure as hell don’t

    Yes, you heard the words of the prophet here, boys and girls.

    Wow. I was just kidding but after spending five minutes on her site. That bitch is crazy. I mean seriously crazy. She thinks she’s an angel.. like.. with wings.

    I need brain bleach.

  17. Wasn’t Amanda Bynes released sometime last week? They should hang out.

  18. Really?

    she’s only doing this for attention which she just got. She’s adopted the racists teachings of her pussy boy Doctor Rice, a guy who’s alter ego is to pretend to be a 16 year old Palestinian girl so guys will send him dick pics and he can pretend to be “smart for his age” She only gets 100 likes per post and that’s including her liking her own posts. The funny part, she now denies that she tried to convert to Judaism last year, claiming that TMZ made up her calling in and all those on video interviews about it, and she’s denying she made a porn and gone back to “it was a private tape between me and my GF” This skank just needs to disappear.

    • Really?

      oh yeah, funniest thing ever was that pussyboy Dr Rice had convinced Tila to run for office in Texas (where she’s back living in her parents guest room) until he posted that on ED and was laughed at so hard he deleted it and cost us the lulz of watching Tila try and hold a debate in a strip club as she ran for senate of crazyville.

  19. Matt

    I liked the song

  20. To be fair, she doesn’t sound any more crazy than the rest of the people who read Infowars.

  21. Miss_Moppet

    I’m confused. Did she just say she was ritualistically murdered last year?

    • Dox

      No… and stay with me here, this gets a little… odd.

      Miss Tequila apparently is an angel made by God. But, God decided that he would disguise his angel with various… things (she was never really specific) and a sprinkle of sin. (no, I’m not kidding.)

      This apparently gives UberHooker there superpowers. And anyone that disagrees with the carpet munching, manchowder gargler is a part of an evil conspiracy that uses ritualistic killing (for some undefined purpose, which apparently included killing Paul Walker…. ritualistically, stuffing him back into the car next to his unnoticing friend, crash the car (One can only assume by remote control.) and start it on fire to disguise their nefarious deeds.)

      With me so far?
      So, Super Slut can apparently…. KNOW things. One of those things is this whole convoluted paranoid delusion about ritualistic murders. (Did I say delusion? I meant vision from God.)

      Because as we all know, Gods first commandment to his angels was…

      “Take thineself upon earth, and make a sex tape. Let all see your genitalia and rejoice, for the good news of the lord hath arrived.”

      And that… is how an angel gets her wings.
      True story.

      • Her sex tape was great, when they weren’t using their mouths for talking.

      • gross

        Great? Sorry, I prefer the vaginas to match a girl. If her vagina is going to be black, the woman better be black. On a girl like Tila you don’t know if the black color is from disease or just residue from the 15 men who were in there the day before.

  22. OH sweet Jesus.

  23. Dr.J

    You know, meth gets a bad rap, but it really gives you the time and energy to just think. You can really focus in on concepts and ideas and just flesh them out, you know? It brings out the genius in people, is what I’m saying.

  24. Nick

    Crazy bitches be like…

  25. festie

    she gives crazy people a bad name.

  26. Kenucklehead

    She is just referencing the content of the Disney satellite that sits above all of us (including her new song lyrics). She is their new puppet slut !!!

  27. Mike Jones

    Who cares what she says? Who cares about the Jews, and their bullshit six million story? Commie, murdering bastards.



  29. J. Rowlett

    Wow..What rock did this trick crawl from under?!?!?!

  30. Me

    Well if Hitler reincarnates, he will be more like to return to earth as an amoeba or a intestinal parasite or something that better fits his degeneration, not a hot Vietnamese girl with alcohol on her name.

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