Tila Tequila Had A Brain Aneurysm That Made Her Do All The Drugs She Likes

The Superficial | March 6, 2012 - 9:52 am

I’m going to ahead and read this report as Tila Tequila overdosed then made up some horseshit story about an aneurysm making her do it, but feel free to interpret this however you like. Via RadarOnline:

According to the source, Tila suffered a brain aneurysm in the middle of the night, which caused her to think irrationally. Due to the pain, she took two bottles of unspecified heavy prescription drugs.
“Tila threw up all over her bed after overdosing and felt like she was dying. She was screaming for help, and in desperation, broke her bedroom window and attempted to jump out,” the source said.
“Finally a friend came over after getting a strange text from her and found her convulsing on the bed. He called an ambulance and she was taken to the hospital.”
Tila was hospitalized just in time to stabilize her and she was under intensive care all week.
“It’s sad to think she may have some permanent brain damage,” the source said.
“She still can’t fully speak properly.”

I already know this story is bullshit because a.) It involves Tila Tequila, and b.) if porn has taught me anything, it’s that reality is nowhere near awesome enough for that last part about her being effectively mute to be true. That said, if Tila can barely speak and is brain damaged, how does anyone know what happened before they found her? For all we know, she ate a bunch of pills, spread her tiny batwings and flew into a closed window like a fucking idiot. And by all we know, I mean that’s exactly what happened.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN