Tila Tequila ‘Attacked’ By Juggalos. According to Tila Tequila.

August 16th, 2010 // 94 Comments

Full Disclosure: Even though a ridiculous amount of you wrote in, I really didn’t want to cover this story because it forces me to talk about two things that should’ve never been in the same place at the same time unless someone’s testing hydrogen bombs: Tila Tequila and Juggalos, America’s saddest punchline since the South. So on that note, let’s get this thing over with:

Seen above arriving at LAX Saturday, Tila Tequila claims to have been “attacked” while performing at the Gathering of the Juggalos in Illinois Friday night and felt compelled to send TMZ pictures of her alleged “injuries.” “Injuries” so horrific, she waited almost an entire day to fly to LA, where the paparazzi were conveniently ready for her, before allegedly going to the hospital. But we’ll get to that after Tila’s sack of bullshit:

Tila gave TMZ a very detailed account of what happened, saying: “I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the sh*t out of the port-0-potty and threw sh*t and piss at me when I was onstage.”
She went on to say: “These people were trying to kill me. So then after the last blow to my head with the firecracker they threw at me exploded, my bodygaurd and the other security grabbed me and ran as fast as they could to the shitty trailor. Since their security SUCKS, the 2 thousand people ran after us, trying to kill me. They almost got me so they finally reach the trailor, blood all over myself, cant stop bleeding, then all of a sudden, all 2 thousand people surround the trailor and busts the windows!!! Even the guys INSIDE with me were shaking! Their hands were shaking cuz they were so scared! So 3 guys inside the trailor had to grab a table and push it over the broken windows and grabbed all the chairs they could find so hold the people from outside back. It was scary as hell!”

TMZ also posted a video of the alleged “attack” which raises even more questions because, surprise, it proves pretty much jackshit:

1. Why did absolutely nothing happen in this video?
2. No, really, why did I just watch a three minute and thirty second video of Tila repeatedly saying “I don’t give a fuck” while her bodyguards basically batted away everything that was thrown at her?
3. Where the fuck did Tom Green come from?
4. If Tila Tequila’s injuries were “spurting blood,” how was she able to board a plane with nothing but a Band-Aid covering her severe “injuries?” Did she use elf magic to increase its absorbency or has Johnson & Johnson finally harnessed the power of wormholes to cover up boo-boos?
5. Does TMZ realize the source of this story is Tila Tequila? Because a.) I feel like someone forgot to ask that during the editorial process and b.) I’m still convinced she’s a figment of my imagination.

Look, based on everything we’ve seen from Tila Tequila in the past year – fake pregnancies, fake lesbian engagement, fake multiple personalities, fake Shawne Merriman abuse, etc. – there’s no way in midget hell I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt here. In fact, I don’t even believe it was her in that video and that little boy’s parents are going to be pissed when they see that shit. No, my theory is none of this even happened and she spent another Friday night masturbating in a shoebox before concocting a new scam to get her face on TMZ again. I dare you to prove me wrong.

Photos: Flynet, Splash News

superficial

  1. Mika Mayhem

    you know your ass can’t rap when even juggalo’s Boo you off stage.

  2. Police report or it didn’t happen.

    • Fame Anarchy

      I second that.

    • Rest

      Fuck jugahoes, isanely gay clown posers, dark clowns, didn’t in your chevy pick up with a hatchet and faygo soda.

      It’s all about Eminem and all you juggahoes know you secretly love Ems music.

      Eat shit

      • serial killa

        first of all the whole Eminem and ICP feud is over so get over it…. and secondly Juggalos would never do that to someone unless they said something…so I very much believe that tila tequila (who by the way is only famous cause of myspace) is the one who provoked the battle. And this is what happens when a hoe opens her mouth for something other than sucking a cock.

      • gill662009

        hey rest,,,your worse than my ex,,,cant blow me and thats your problem,, pull the dildoes out your ass and mouth,,swap them cuz your talking shit and probubly need to reload,, and about my truck,,its american asshole,,unlike your car and its payed for ya faggit

      • Cannibal Shogun

        I’m not a fan of ICP, but Eminem is a shit rapper with talent no better than a mid level juggalo, the only reason he’s famous is because Dr. Dre decided he wanted a white boy to make himself more mainstream. There are hundreds of rappers in the Detroit area just as good if not better than Eminem. The dude writes the same songs over and over again, I got bored of that shit in 2001, it’s now 2010 and he’s still writing the same lame songs.

        As far as Tila Tequila playing at the gathering, that was a bone headed booking to begin with. These kids are not shy about letting you know when they think you suck.

      • Ba‘al Zebûb

        Cannibal Shogun…yes you are a fan, with less tact than tila, I might add.

        I can almost see you sitting there all emo with a razor blade in one hand, 1997 dell laptop in the other, pissed off that people are dogging your faggo drink and clown idols . Youre responding here trying not to get your moms makeup all over the keys, but its ok…just remember, that its up and down with the razor, not left to right …make it count loser juggiejello.

      • Hatchet Killa

        I was at the Gahering and tila didn’t belong there. Us Juggalos don’t want to see no 4 foot asain midget who has no talent. Fuck Tila She don’t belong in our world. And so all you Motha Fuckas know. We may be Juggalos we may be different in the way we talk, dress and act but we are all family. There are more rich kids wearing Abercrombie & Fitch killin them selves that there are Juggalos. Stop actin like we are all suicidal. I love my life my wife my kids my fago my hatchet and my 2009 Ford expedition that i paid for with my hard earned money. We have jobs and lives get one of your own you fuckin haters.

  3. those crazy kids and their posse records..

    am not myself today a good friend wrecked his bike and died yest. he was covered in tattoos. in his honor i hereby fuck tila thru the internet. wrapped of course.

    rip big sexy

  4. Tila Tequila
    Commented on this photo:

    i could see myself fucking some sense into her. fuck that bleach out of her hair. fuck those tats off her. she needs a real man, and i dont see any other takers..

  5. michelle

    I was actually there and it was tila and it did happen she was not wanted but came because one of the performers, Shaggy wanted to fuck her and even said so in an interview the day before, asking juggalos “not to hit her in the face”. she stalled an hour and a half before even coming on stage and the auidence was waiting with small rocks, bottles of piss, and other items. She was rushed off stage after the last hit to the face cut open her mouth. They rushed the trailer after and chanted “show us your tits” as she performed along with “go home bitch” and other profanities. Lil kim did not come out after that and the cops were not allowed in but did meet her at the entrance

    • carissa

      ooooh that’s fascinating. Lil’ Kim, I like! but why were these people at the gathering of juggalos?? did they not know what a juggalo was or something????????

    • bitingontinfoil

      “The cops were not allowed in”, Tequil-liar refused to SEE the cops in order to have her “injuries” photographed and documented.

    • Anita Hanchob

      “the cops were not allowed in”

      Uh, not possible. You cant have a gathering of the stupidest people on earth, in a public/private place and not allow the cops in. Its not your call or choice if they come in or not. Lil Kim?Shaggy? Wow, sounds like we could have hired Al Queada to do a job FOR us for once, not against us.

    • cmyk

      If I were there, I’d never admit it.

    • bocon

      that was sooooo wrong FOR GOD SAKE TILA IS A HUMAN BEING.. ANIMALS JUGGALOS!!

      • precious

        No she’s not. She’s a midget long haired Smeagol. This has been going on since the import car show days. She blows!

  6. Tila Tequila
    lol
    Commented on this photo:

    First, Bitches!

    LOLERBALLZ!!!

  7. Jigaboo

    I’m glad that bitch got beat up. Would have been great if they had pics of her actually getting her ass kicked. This bitch has and has NEVER had ANY sort of talent and just another celebrity wannabe. Fuck her.

    • Anita Hanchob

      “This bitch has and has NEVER had ANY sort of talent and just another celebrity wannabe.”

      Sounds like she was in the correct environment then with WWE wrestlers, midwestern, white trash kids/ adults/ lost souls/ meth heads & 3rd rate has been rappers.

    • bocon

      SO WHATTTTTT.. SHE IS A HUMAN BEING ANNA YOU ARE AN IMBECIL!!

  8. Lauren

    i think the real point is why was tila at the gathering?

  9. Oliver

    seen the video on Tmz and she did exactly what you’re not supposed to do in such a situation. She kwpt saying i ain’t going nowhere! I don’t give a fuck! And stuff like that.

  10. dzzman

    2010 GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS WAS THE SHIZNIT BITCHES. This was definitetly the funniest thing that happened. And dont get all pissy at me cuz im a juggalo. I knew they were gonna throw shit, ICP knew thety were gonna throw shit, tila knew, tom green knew, fuck man, even gallaghers old ass knew, but yet she still wanted to perform and was excited about it,read her tweets, heres the proof… http://twitter.com/TilaOMG . I dont know where the lawsuit is, but you aint gonna stop joe and joey tila. i got news for ya , THA WICKED CLOWNS WILL NEVER DIE, MUTHA FACKO!!! Oh yeah Tom green, your the shit.. WOOP WOOP!!

    • K

      The only people more annoying and idiotic than Tila Tequila are fucking Juggalos. Actually, it’s probably a tie.

  11. kasxyz

    Okay…I know…I am out of the loop…but what the hell is a juggalos?

  12. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Im a 39 year old white woman and I dont know what a Juggalo is either? Is it the same thing as what Grampa used to call “a Jigaboo”?

    • Chenush

      To all of you who don’t know:
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juggalo
      :)

      • Cock Dr

        “Common characteristics include drinking the inexpensive soft drink Faygo and wearing face paint.”
        OK, this is getting funnier & funnier.

      • cokzilla

        Thanks for showing us THE MOST WORTHLESS WIKI LINK ON THE WEB!!! What pieces of shit juggalos are.

      • Me

        I have never heard of a juggalo either. Why the fuck do Insane Clown Posee fans get their own name. I mean, there can’t be that many of them. Even during their height these people were never that popular.

      • Hatchet Killa

        HAHAHA there can’t be very many of us. We are every where. Every state every middle school high school college, your next door neighbor. We are watchin everybody. No body fucks with our family. We protect one another. We dont kill our selves the music isn’t what yall think of it as. And we are one of the most relegious group of Fackos you will ever meet.

    • kasxyz

      Just great…you’re ignorance is showing

    • LOLOLOLOL

      Im a 39 year old white woman and I dont know what a Juggalo is either? Is it the same thing as what Grampa used to call “a Jigaboo”?

      Ohhh LMAO!

    • Burt

      Fans of a really bad rap group. Kind of like Kiss, but their music really sucks. ;)

  13. peazee

    after watching the video its clear what happened isnt it? i mean she just sounded completely awful. of course the crowd got pissed off.
    then, instead of trying to up her game or giving up on the raging crowd she started insulting them directly (as if her lyrics didnt have enough abuse in them).

    sorry but i think shes at least partly responsible to what happened. of course nobody should have thrown anything like rocks and chased her to the trailer, still that was pretty poor of her.

  14. Soowrong

    I’d just like to point out that all of this is, from the midget to the stupid clowns, is just soooooooo wrong!

  15. weedeater

    Ahhhh, the juggalos.

    Letting the whole world know that trailer parks, white trash & whiggers exist in regions other than the south…and taking that white trashiness and whiggerness to new heights.

    Thanks Juggalos! You guys are #1 in the trashy/ stupid/ most worthless and whiggery categories WORLDWIDE!

  16. Tila Tequila
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    In an effort to say something positive I will compliment the shoes.

  17. Tila Tequila
    Hillary Clinton
    Commented on this photo:

    First you cum sucking whores

  18. OMG

    All of the wounds she was sporting in that TMZ pic suddenly vanished overnight! what a dumb fucking bitch. I hate to say it, but she deserves absolute hell.

    • KoMoDo

      Also those were the same pics she sent in for when she was “attacked” by her ex-boyfriend. The saddest thing is how many people( and juggalos even) defended her for what supposedly happened.

  19. jay

    I’d hit it! I would hit tila before i’d ever hit snooki

    • wannabuttFTilla

      Make sure you triple wrap first.. And don’t kiss her, god knows what std’s she has in her mouth from sucking.

  20. Juggalos and Tila Tequila……JHC.

  21. noneofurbeezwax

    That many Juggalos and they couldn’t have thrown something bigger at her, like a bus? Where is your sense of purpose? You let a target like that go? At least light the shit on fire before you throw it! Pussies!

    • icp jumped the shark when they couldn’t even win a yelling match against sharon osbourne (howard stern show). only thing remotely juggalo that was cool was anna nicole’s stoned clown video (filmed by a diff howard stern)

  22. tcal

    Juggalo’s just need put down their time is up. Just a bunch of Emo Fags follow IPC. Get over it, get a job and move out from mommy. If thats to hard just hang yourselves.

  23. bill

    This attention whore slope practically invites abuse. She deserves everything that comes her way.

  24. Jäger

    Fuckin’ tits, how do they work?

  25. Elizabeth

    nobody is really stupid enough to be a juggalo, this stupid story is made up crap

  26. kj

    Nobody in this crowd had a gun? Damn you juggalos, damn you!

  27. Slanted News

    She’s every psych chink hooker that ever lived. And there are a LOT of them.

  28. farthammer

    she has some GOOK on her face

  29. suck it

    If Michael Lohan was some how included in this story, it would have combined the 3 douchiest things ever.

  30. Sobrietyisacrutch

    She was obviously set-up. It was Jane all along.

  31. doodreally?

    first off, let me say i USED to call myself a juggalo. unfortunately, the word doesnt have the same meaning it used to. now its just a bunch of kids that want to ride the “cool bus”. theyve tarnished the name, and ruined it for the OG’s. its nothing but a joke now.

    as for this broad, she got what she deserves. any “artist” with common sense would have asked any and ALL artists that had previously performed at one of these gatherings what to expect. every year one performer is booked for the soul purpose of getting forced of stage. had she done so, this might not have happened. but then again, tila tequila IS a publicity whore.

    second, not everyone at these events are juggalos. there are so many performances booked, that there is a cluster fuck of fans of different groups and artists. so to point the finger at one group of fans just because they are “the usual suspects” is unfair. if thats your logic, you probably associate blacks with rape, terrorism with arabs, ect.

    • Miracles up in this bitch

      yeah if I wanted to ride the “cool bus”, I’d definitely call myself a “juggalo”. that’s exactly what I’d do.

    • Ba‘al Zebûb

      first of all, that was TMI dickallo…and a waste of time around here, if you couldnt tell. NO ONE gives a shit about dickallos, fat tranny pole smokers that rap or mid-western white trash.

      second, your comment:

      “you probably associate blacks with rape, terrorism with arabs, ect.”

      uh, yea. whats your point? That everyone was right all along? Ok, good…youre only half a fag now for admitting you wore makeup, panties and smoked pole with white wanna be rappers.

    • jp

      duhh dumb a$$ dont act like u dont do tha same dam thing u fake fuker every1s racist in some sorta way

  32. jenna

    Stupid cunt needs to run face first into a foot long spike.

  33. Any Guy

    holy shit man, I’m pissing myself laughing over here. your write-up on this story is fucking side splitting.

    keep it up. thanks for the much needed laughs.

    see you in midget hell.

  34. haha

    i knew someone was eventually going to throw a peice of shit on her. she’s ugly as shit and she has no talent at all. she’s uglier than all the hookers out on the street. she wouldn’t even get 5 dolla for fucky and sucky. she look so hoooorny.

  35. Danielle

    Dirty whore deserved worse than that!! It’s what she gets for telling Casey J to stop taking her meds.

  36. Tila Tequila
    Hmmmmm
    Commented on this photo:

    Knock a bitch out with a rock Fail. Bummer.

  37. Tila Tequila
    Commented on this photo:

    What did they do, chase her with a flyswatter?

  38. Sniper

    Classy chick, pack of cigarettes in the hand at all times.

    She’s either got a dick, a cigarette or her left foot in her mouth at all times.

    Dumb bimbo whore, just fuck off and die, you midget fucktard.

  39. Tina

    I cannot even begin to imagine what a tough and unfulfilled life this poor soul leads. Maybe she should stop hanging around such scary people. I feel so sorry for her.

  40. Hateful Immigrant

    The 2nd ever redeeming thing ICP has been a part of; the first being guests on “Loveline”.

  41. Burt

    Hey, kids. Insulting a woman online won’t get you laid.

  42. HerpDERP

    I think Juggalos should have thrown other Juggalos at Tila, because they are worse then piss and shit combined. Tila clearly forgot to wear her clown outfit.

  43. Drealette

    ok this story is sooo over done! i was there, yes she did get shit throwin at her but that what u got to expect preforming for juggalos its just something that happend and also she was up on stage saying throw the shit i dont give a fuck so she was asking for it! as for chasing her to her to her trailer haha thats a joke if we could get back stage u really think the first person we would run to is her haha fuck that! there was no way near the performers trailers

  44. ddfsds

    this is jayz using his connections cause she insulted rihanna

  45. El Bob

    Is… is her baby OK?!

  46. Dean

    Tila Tequila, Insane Clown Posse and a few thousand Juggalos all gathered in one place?

    Where’s Al Qaeda when you need them?

Leave A Comment