Tiger Woods: ‘You love me, you really love me.’

April 5th, 2010 // 44 Comments

An uncharacteristically chipper Tiger Woods held a press conference today at the Masters where he essentially reiterated the same talking points about hurting his family but also thanked the fans for letting him return and make a shit-ton money. NBC Sports reports:

“Coming into today, I didn’t know what to expect, with regards to reception, and I tell you what, the galleries couldn’t be nicer.”
“It blew me away, to be honest … it really did,” Woods said. “It touched my heart pretty good.”

“For the fans to really want to see me play golf again, that felt great,” he said.
Woods said he’s going to try to keep acknowledging fans, but he admits he will be more focused during tournament competition.

On a more telling note, Tiger stated that Elin wouldn’t be coming to the Masters then proceeded to dodge questions about her supporting his return to golf. Obviously she believed his promise to focus on fixing their marriage which is retarded considering he probably pulled no less than three strippers out of his pants during the conversation. “I honestly don’t know where they keep coming from. Now what was I saying fuck me that’s a broadsword. I’LL BE GOOD.

EDIT: Added pics of Elin Woods looking smoking hot today because somehow that’s an integral part of this story. Trust me.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

  1. Soho

    First. Saw it.

  2. BEA


  3. Randal

    Welcome back Mr. Woods and let me be the first to say thank-you for stopping @ The FISH to share your comments with us.

    I’m really looking forward to watching you next week. Growl your way back to the top and thanks again, you’ve made my day.


  4. xylus

    Golf is a good walk spoiled…

  5. Darth

    What happened here with the ads? Has even google left the building?

  6. Alisha

    I wish I watched golf before this so I could begin boycotting this d.bag’s return. Or wait, no….golf is boring as shit.

  7. Gando

    Till death do us apart;Peta’s Pamela Anderson is still left..

  8. black jesus

    if you think i can swing a club around,

    wait till you see me swing my dick around!!

    Ladies? erm, … Sluts?

  9. abby

    If I were Elin, I would want him out making some cash and spending less time around the house. Sounds perfect.

  10. @4 – um, I think you forgot to credit Mark Twain with that remark. Hack.

  11. cellphone

    @7 Pamela’s Anderson’s monster boobs are haunting us. .

  12. JoJo

    So does this mean he will resume rocking out with his cock out?

  13. batshit

    I always hated Tiger Woods – until this sh!t about him banging every ho in sight came out, then I started to like him. Before this crap, he was a zero personality d’bag & everyone was supposed to worship him because he was good at a boring ass game no one but old farts gives a crap about. Then I found out he’s a rich as hell dude who appreciates that the huge wads of cash allow him to bang every ho in creation anytime he wants, which I can respect. If his dipshit former (and long since washed up and too old) bikini model / nanny wife didn’t get it that she was just the one lucky ho to get a wedding ring off Tiger, and that wouldn’t stop him from doing what he does best (banging every ho in sight), then she is as stupid as she looks. Tiger should just have a press conference and tell the world “i am a fairly young guy with boatloads of cash, i like to bang strange chicks daily, and since i CAN do that, i am going to do that, because that’s what i’m in to. suck it”

  14. Nero

    I was watching this press conference live on CNN and TMZ.TMZ was about 10 seconds delayed.

  15. chris

    wow, she has lost alot of weight, stess will do it

  16. abby

    More interesting, the whore that is with Gloria Allred and always in a wig; will be holding her own press conference this afternoon.

  17. yo man

    Yo man tiger is a pimp and we all know it, if he didn’t marry elin who would have married some other Nordic beast women and cheated on her too, so contrary to belief elin is the one that should apologize to tiger for beating the crap out of that Playa, what she really deserves is a good old pimp slap for disrespecting that man. Some one please powder tiger up!!!



  19. Rhialto

    Scroll all the way pronto down!

  20. Kirk

    Great that he’s back. The comments by “batshit” really are sophmoric and ignorant. Golf is of almost zero interest w/out Tiger. By the way, I’ve never thought Elin was really anything special to look at. If she is smart, she’ll stay with her cash register hubby.

  21. Taz

    I bet he wins the green jacket

  22. takeofyourpantsand...

    After all the whores he’s been with, I bet you he shoots green when he jacks it…

  23. Vlad

    Bananarama circa 1984, yeah?

  24. meh

    you are not funny. Dlisted.com

  25. I hate golf

    The Clock is counting down to the next Ass kicking Tiger is going to receive from Elin. The Goatee makes him look an even bigger douche than he already is.

  26. Fruit Loop

    If he gets a big dick from the black side of his family, and a small rice dick from the asian side….does that mean they cancel each other out and he gets a normal sized one?

  27. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    Haven’t we heard enough about this over rated, over sexed Jigaboo?

  28. She really is beautiful!

  29. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    Someone quick call the zoo — a chimp has escaped & is bothering fans at a nearby golf course. Although they do seem to love his antics.

    You go, Bonzo.

  30. More interesting, the whore that is with Gloria Allred and always in a wig; will be holding her own press conference this afternoon.

  31. Vinnie The Chin

    Smoking hot wife. Ugly as fcuk golfer. I guess that’s true love.

  32. Ummm…. Mr. Wood is cool I being a big fans for him….

  33. Eff-Him

    wait till he finds out just how many white guys Elin has been on her knees for….turns out she calls them her slurpers cuz she likes the white ice cream drink they make for her and never misses a drop….she says it’s yummy
    as fer the hahahaha Tiger his days are over,,,no one wants or forgives him,,,

  34. captain america


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  36. Rob

    Not that I’d take anything he says at face value, but what’s important isn’t how his remaining fans are treating him but rather how many of them he has lost.

  37. e in chicago

    When I looked at this article, I immediately looked at Tiger’s crotch, and Elin’s shoes.

    It looks like Tiger has a boner. Hahahah!!!

  38. love you ,really love you

  39. thank you that was so briliant and so funny ( I mean the escape of kids) that I burst in laugh , but very quickly apologized to Mj and ask for his forgivnes.Poor guy is probabaly pacing the heaven back and forth trying to tell us the truth , and being tremondously angry with hmmm I dont know if I should ever call that killer a doctor .Doctor is a person who is doing everyuthing to save someones life .Killer is a person who takes that life away ….so what do You thing tough decison …..NOT

  40. . I saw an old man with a knife tip of the same surgery for their own culture — he is Lu Xun . I was deeply shocked. We are not love their own culture, but too much love, so limit their own soul. He, let us deeply understand, not because o

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