Tiger Woods used to have sex where the star is

March 31st, 2010 // 60 Comments

Four of Tiger Woods’ mistresses, including Loredana Jolie above, appear in the May issue of Vanity Fair who obviously knew the right amount to make them sing like penis-loving canaries:

On Mindy Lawton’s tampon ratting him out:
Although she was menstruating, he insisted on having sex with her, but when the key card to access his office didn’t work, he drove to a nearby parking lot, where they had sex in his car. After they left, Lawton claims, reporters from The National Enquirer, who had been following her, picked up the tampon she had dropped in the parking lot, and later threatened to use it as part of a story exposing Woods’s infidelity.

On Tiger’s gambling buddies:
“When Tiger showed up in Vegas, he was always with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley,” according to Las Vegas Review-Journal columnist Norm Clarke. Years earlier, however, John Merchant had warned Woods to avoid Jordan and Barkley, saying of Jordan, “Stay away from that son of a bitch, because he doesn’t have anything to offer to the fucking world in which he lives except playing basketball.” Merchant adds, “Are they his black role models? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

On knowing how to treat a lady:
Mindy Lawton says the only thing he ever bought for her was a chicken wrap from Subway (he was stopping there on his way to meet her).

What’s hilarious about these stories is the unifying theme of how cheap Tiger Woods is when it comes to women and the fact he’s completely oblivious to it. He’s probably reading this right now thinking ” They only had sex with me for my money?! But I’m so good at golf! At least Elin loves me for who I — Aw, shit.”

superficial

  1. Sport

    yawn.

  2. BTSB (Bite the short bone)

    #1 BTSB, thanks for the advice. Maybe I’m doing that anyway, and don’t need somebody telling me what the FUCK to do with my time?

  3. OPS

    Title and picture have nothing to do with the article. I thought I was going to be reading about anal play. False advertising!

  4. Sport

    Sorry #2 you worthless douche – but we already know what you are doing with your time, internet toughguy.

  5. Solo

    Sexy feet though!

  6. Willie Dixon

    Agree with Sport on both counts.

  7. dude_on

    Isn’t that just like a woman. She gets a chicken wrap and laid and still figures out a way to complain.

  8. BTSB (Bite the short bone)

    Uh #1 – duh, the guy who was in before you @#1, and subsequently deleted his post had some spammed link, and bullshit about wasting your time on celeb-slam websites. I wasn’t talking about you. You can apologize by giving my taint a tongue bath.

  9. hateyoufornoreason

    Throwing your tampon in the parking lot after being used and degraded. Klassy with a capital K.

  10. Randall

    These woman are a national treasure and I feel blessed that they have decided to share these enthralling stories about Tiger Woods. They are beautiful, captivating and I would like to see them go on to have great and productive film careers in all of the latest blockbusters. Tiger made some great choices when he picked these women. I wish them all the best.

    Randall

  11. Sport

    tongue bath on its way BTSB – hugs and kisses,

    Sport

  12. Amy

    Well, I mean…who wouldn’t be pleased with a chicken wrap? Give me my period, chicken wrap, a dorky willie, a car, parking lot, and business socks BECAUSE IT’S BUSINESS TIME.

  13. Sandy

    NIPPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. cc

    Geez, all these years I was dating (or trying to) and all I had to do was act like a cheap, gross, selfish asshole? Why didn’t someone tell me?

  15. Ahem

    @14. Yup. And be rich and/or famous.

  16. TekMoney

    Tranny face. Thus making this…

    The Superficial’s Daily Tranny Post.

    So not only did Tiger had a Parker thing going on, but now he was into hitting it raw while the chick is on the rag?! That’s beyond disgusting! Fuck… this guy is… I don’t even know anymore. I’m just waiting for the STD claims to start any moment now.

  17. markonius maximus

    Damn this is great marketing for SubWay.

    5 Dollar Foot Long!

  18. Tiger

    I like to have sex with my socks on and with my dumb lower lip hanging down like some kind of comatose mouth breather.

    My name is Tiger Woods, and I hate myself.

  19. Tiger Woods really made bad choices by sleeping with women who are gold diggers.

  20. JoJo

    So he like buttsecs, who doesn’t?

  21. TekMoney

    LMAO @ 18

  22. crazypants

    What exactly is the point of these stories anymore? He cheated, he admitted it – why are we listening to every single, explicit, gory detail of Tiger’s sex life?

    He likes it rough, he fucked a girl who was on her period, he talked about wanting threesomes, he’s into anal, he’s into quickies – WHAT GUY HASN’T DONE SOME IF NOT ALL OF THESE THINGS?!?

    If there’s any consistency to all of these “revelations” – Tiger treated each and everyone of these ladies like the disposable fuck things they aspired to be.

    This is Mindy Lawton’s story, short form – I served Tiger and his wife pancakes, I caught him checking me out, he called me 2hrs later, I met him as soon as my shift ended and I fucked him on his kitchen floor 1/2 an hr after he picked me up. OMG – I’m shocked that Tiger thinks I’m just a cheap piece of ass!

    Vanity Fair – WTF – why not just go full Penthouse and show full nudes and beaver shots and have letters to the VF Editors where people submit stories of that time they fucked 3 stewardesses in a Burger King bathroom?

  23. Peter Griffin says...

    WHORE!! Go die!

  24. spaceyQQQ

    She looks like a freakin’ horse!! Vanity Fair has to resort to this to get people to buy their crap magazine?? Glamorizing these whores is so wrong!

  25. Rogue

    Oblivious? What a stupid comment. It’s quite the opposite. Why spend money on these chicks when they’ll fuck you just because the earth rotates? If girls want to fuck you they’ll do it without much “incentive.” Some guys never figure that out.

  26. Tiger is an Idiot

    Tiger Woods is not just Cheap. He is a Arrogant Dumb ass to. He is a Billionaire and yet he could not buy a Separate Phone for his other women to Call.(HOE PHONE). For $30.00 a month(they give you the phone for free), this Dumb ass could of avoided getting his Ass kicked by Elin. After that Televised Joke of an Apology I will bet that Elin beats his Punk Ass Again. When it does happen I hope someone records it. It would be Hilarious to watch that.

  27. Michael wears a hat

    Who cares if Tiger Woods is cheap? He still has sex with everything that walks in front of him. If you think he ought to be paying more, you don’t get it.

  28. If Tiger Woods was single we wouldn’t be talking about this at all.

  29. mshook12

    I have always hated tiger, even before these scandals because he is a jerk on the golf course. I am glad to see him get what he deserves, but now I hate all of these whores who banged him also.

    Right on spaceyQQQ. I quote for emphasis:

    “She looks like a freakin’ horse!! Vanity Fair has to resort to this to get people to buy their crap magazine?? Glamorizing these whores is so wrong!”

    Horse or tranny is right. And it’s their own damn fault for fu**ing that ugly man-baby before cashing in first. Complaining about him only buying you a fast food chicken meal for screwing him is pathetic! I hope these losers all caught his herpes they deserve it.

    Just wait till the media starts bringing back up the stories about tiger having sex with dudes. That will help these whores feel even better about themselves. Serves them right!

  30. mshook12

    I have always hated tiger, even before these scandals because he is a jerk on the golf course. I am glad to see him get what he deserves, but now I hate all of these whores who banged him also.

    Right on spaceyQQQ. I quote for emphasis:

    “She looks like a freakin’ horse!! Vanity Fair has to resort to this to get people to buy their crap magazine?? Glamorizing these whores is so wrong!”

    Horse or tranny is right. And it’s their own damn fault for fu**ing that ugly man-baby before cashing in first. Complaining about him only buying you a fast food chicken meal for screwing him is pathetic! I hope these losers all caught his herpes they deserve it.

    Just wait till the media starts bringing back up the stories about tiger having sex with dudes. That will help these whores feel even better about themselves. Serves them right!

  31. mshook12

    I have always hated tiger, even before these scandals because he is a jerk on the golf course. I am glad to see him get what he deserves, but now I hate all of these whores who banged him also.

    Right on spaceyQQQ. I quote for emphasis:

    “She looks like a freakin’ horse!! Vanity Fair has to resort to this to get people to buy their crap magazine?? Glamorizing these whores is so wrong!”

    Horse or tranny is right. And it’s their own damn fault for fu**ing that ugly man-baby before cashing in first. Complaining about him only buying you a fast food chicken meal for screwing him is pathetic! I hope these losers all caught his herpes they deserve it.

    Just wait till the media starts bringing back up the stories about tiger having sex with dudes. That will help these whores feel even better about themselves. Serves them right! Elin is a retard to stay!!

  32. me

    Randall….. I bet you shit rainbows and fart Valentine cards.

  33. Tiger attorneys are trying to stop Loredana from writing the Book by paying her off.. Her attorney Michael Aviles is helping her.

  34. dude

    her mouth looks retarded… fug

  35. tongue bath on its way BTSB – hugs and kisses,

  36. captain america

    …………………………ANAL, folks?

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  39. cc

    Great ass, have to say.

  40. like I said

    This guy is the embodiment of what one would be – if one could simply do whatever one wanted.

    That being said – guy’s a douche, and I can’t find anything redeemable about him – except for pushing a small white ball across a field with a club. It’s lonely at the top – and I don’t envy him for a second. Is as vacuous as they come – and chooses his own kind.

    Will give new meaning to the phrase “put it in the hole!” when Master’s time comes…

  41. Thank you for your sharing!

  42. I would’ve tapped that.

  43. She gets a chicken wrap and laid and still figures out a way to complain.

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