Tiger Woods is romantic

Because hush money doesn’t go as far as it used to these days, Joslyn James has launched an entire website dedicated to posting text messages she supposedly received from Tiger Woods during their affair. Here’s just a couple samples from Tiger’s alternate personality who apparently has a PhD in anal sex:

Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore
Tiger:Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out
Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard
Tiger:Sent: 04″02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore
Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own

Considering Joslyn James’ entire family has labeled her a pathological liar, I’m almost 90% certain she’s just re-posting dialog from her latest porn and waiting for a giant check. Although TMZ has a convincing theory to the contrary. And if it is true, I want to know how the hell we lost the greatest erotic writer of our time to the most boring sport known to man. It’s like a master chef deciding he wants to reheat oatmeal for a living. I mean, Jesus Christ.

Photos: Splash News