Tiger Woods is ready for prison sex now

January 4th, 2010 // 57 Comments

Pre-golf club to the face, Tiger Woods posed shirtless for the cover of February’s Vanity Fair and Annie Leibovitz has to be pissed. She probably thought she was getting unprecedented access to Tiger when it turns out there’s maybe five females in the world who haven’t seen this shit up close. In fact, my cat just walked by and asked why that chest looks familiar.

superficial

  1. NG

    Pwnd. That’s all I have to say about him.

  2. Taz

    dudes cut

  3. Ein

    Ugh, too ugly ewww!

  4. Doc Schweinstrudel

    I like how his left nipple’s hair are curving like flower…RAWR!
    He needs to be whipped to have some red stripes – he deserves it.

  5. Billy

    damn he looks gooooodd!!!

    I would make him my bitch any day of the week!

  6. Christina

    I probably would….

  7. giz

    his nipples are pitch black. i love it.

  8. giz

    his nipples are pitch black. i love it.

  9. KaChingMe

    Peculiar dichotomy. He is about as ghetto as Britt Hume. ((there is a ref there to Tiger but you will have to google it)
    Odd how he agreed to this look by Annie L. She probably convinced him it would be a nice diversion for his persona – wrong!
    OR
    Annie fooled him by saying her hot-looking lighting assistant turned into a nympho around bad boys. (when in reality just a hot chick genetically drawn to large bank accounts)

    Got to hand it to Annie, that capture that will be infamous.

  10. BEAM

    “He is about as ghetto as Britt Hume. ”

    LOL. My thoughts exactly.

  11. KaChingMe

    Peculiar dichotomy. He is about as ghetto as Britt Hume. ((there is a ref there to Tiger but you will have to google it)
    Odd how he agreed to this look by Annie L. She probably convinced him it would be a nice diversion for his persona – wrong!
    OR
    Annie fooled him by saying her hot-looking lighting assistant turned into a nympho around bad boys. (when in reality just a hot chick genetically drawn to large bank accounts)

    Got to hand it to Annie, that capture that will be infamous.

  12. Jessica

    really hot…I remember that night when I was riding this hot piece of ass, who wouldn’t?!

  13. Stuey

    Really? That is considered hot?

  14. havoc

    Golf is not a sport.

    Why is he lifting weights?

    .

  15. He doesn’t represent the black male in a positive way (visually, let’s forget about his behavior)

    Denzel, Obama, hell, Samuel L Friggin’ Jackson are better looking.

    He swings a mean golf club (apparently so does his wife), but when it comes to looks, Tiger’s looks are probably in the bottom third.

  16. 4/4 timing

    Adebisi FTW

  17. Fuck

    LMAO!!!!

    Can you say “Photoshopped”????

    The only part of Woods in that photo is his head.

  18. AmericanWhiteTrash

    Behold! New image: BAD BOY!

    The manufactured wholesome country club good guy everyone likes thing is dead now I reckon…

    They need the billion dollar marketing campaign to keep flowing on this guy. Big bucks are at stake because he is no doubt an amazing golfer just find it funny how I saw this coming from a mile away as soon as everyone found out he fucks everything in sight.

  19. Trailer Park Inhabiter

    Wow to think this animal is worth a zillion dollars for nothing of course and this is the best he can look? Faggot has no abs at all and a scrawny chest with hideous, demonic black nipples.
    I love how, as Mr. American White Trash has pointed out, the “industry” (read: crooks with all our money) supports this pervert. Nothing surprising there just read the news, we are sinking fast and faster. Better stock up on your provisions gang.

  20. statingtheobvious

    Tiger isn’t black, but mixed race. Keanu Reeves isn’t white, he is Eurasian. I never understand the confusion.

    and Tiger is sucking it in for this pics and lifting a weight in this shot. Nice try! :D

  21. Viv

    Vanity Fair got Tiger to strip for their cover??? I didn’t know they were THAT desperate to sell some magazines….He looks ok, though, I would expect to see him like this in a cover of Playboy, Man’s Health or any magazine of the sort, certainly not Vanity Fair…oh well, since they get almost naked women for their covers, why not Tiger.

  22. hooch

    amazing title

  23. What the WHAT?! I really don’t think that he looks overly amazing by any means.

  24. Donnie Brassballs

    Hmm, looks more like a nice cameraphone picture taken by one of his mistresses.

  25. Rhialto

    Nice try but i’m not into men! I’m not gonna save your ass!

  26. TUBBO

    Assuming he got his pump on before this picture was taken………he is a total bitch………nice 15lb dumbells

  27. I’d still hit it — with a bag over his head and a full body condom!

  28. chupacabra

    ewwww. BARF.

    By the way, look at how his nipples look like eyes, the weird stomach muscles look like a snout, then the giant bellybutton looks like a mouth.

    FREAK!

  29. Not bad but there’re a few things what could be better!

  30. sunshine

    Ya, no wait, #20?? You mean that Obama is not the first Black President after all?

  31. chav

    Damn those black nipples are ugly! Not to mention all the pimples on his chest.

  32. OMG

    I think he started working out after getting stalked by this weirdo in the green unitard: http://www.unitarduniverse.com/tiger-woods-17th-unitard-universe
    This photo is so weird – What makes you decide to wear a full-body suit to a golf course?

  33. Barry Dangle

    @ 30: He was raised moslem, but a hybrid for sure. Could be an illegal alien too! I think it’s funny, refusing to show his paperwork & telling everyone to STFU & kiss his a**! Ahnold S is getting pissed…

  34. Hmm

    Does he have a tattoo around his nipple?

  35. know more about woods’scandal??? there are many sexy pics about he and the mistress

  36. kimk

    PAPER BAAAAAAAAAAG IT

    so whats this whole … bad boy look ?

  37. kimk

    PAPER BAAAAAAAAAAG IT

    so whats this whole … bad boy look ?

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  41. He does have a good physique and is going to be a hard hitter in the prison too.

  42. This is political? What office does Tiger hold? Or is his wife in office? How will their relationship effect the nation?

  43. i'm eating pepperoni pizza right now

    Tempted by the fruit of another
    Tempted but the truth is discovered
    What’s been going on
    Now that you have gone there’s no other
    Tempted by the fruit of another
    Tempted but the truth is discovered
    I bought a novell, some perfume, a fortune all for you
    But it’s not my conscience that hates to be untrue.
    I asked of my reflection,
    Tell me what is there to do?
    Tempted by the fruit of another
    Tempted but the truth is discovered
    What’s been going on
    Now that you have gone there’s no other
    Tempted by the fruit of another
    Tempted but the truth is discovered
    la la la la laaalalalaa laa!
    ? ?

  44. LOL @ “Pumps and a Bump.” So wrong…but so right.

    So not feelin’ the cover, tho. Feels like they were copying D’Angelo’s “Untitled” and added a cap and weights to make it seem “original.” Meh.

    But hey…YMMV. It’ll still sell. As for me, I’ll hold onto my pennies.

  45. GG1000

    Liebovitz is awesome; she always gets something totally unexpected. The eyes are what gets me – that’s the most miserable looking billionaire I’ve ever seen.

  46. Pimples are sexy

    Liebovitz is a pig. She takes disgusting pics and they are risque so therefore creative.
    Tiger is hideous and puny for a guys who bodybuilds. Genetic runt. Black nipples how gross.

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