Tiger Woods is ready for prison sex now

January 4th, 2010 // 57 Comments

Pre-golf club to the face, Tiger Woods posed shirtless for the cover of February’s Vanity Fair and Annie Leibovitz has to be pissed. She probably thought she was getting unprecedented access to Tiger when it turns out there’s maybe five females in the world who haven’t seen this shit up close. In fact, my cat just walked by and asked why that chest looks familiar.

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Comments (57)

  1. NG | January 4, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    Pwnd. That’s all I have to say about him.

    Reply
  2. Taz | January 4, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    dudes cut

    Reply
  3. Ein | January 4, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    Ugh, too ugly ewww!

    Reply
  4. Doc Schweinstrudel | January 4, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    I like how his left nipple’s hair are curving like flower…RAWR!
    He needs to be whipped to have some red stripes – he deserves it.

    Reply
  5. Billy | January 4, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    damn he looks gooooodd!!!

    I would make him my bitch any day of the week!

    Reply
  6. Christina | January 4, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    I probably would….

    Reply
  7. giz | January 4, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    his nipples are pitch black. i love it.

    Reply
  8. giz | January 4, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    his nipples are pitch black. i love it.

    Reply
  9. KaChingMe | January 4, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    Peculiar dichotomy. He is about as ghetto as Britt Hume. ((there is a ref there to Tiger but you will have to google it)
    Odd how he agreed to this look by Annie L. She probably convinced him it would be a nice diversion for his persona – wrong!
    OR
    Annie fooled him by saying her hot-looking lighting assistant turned into a nympho around bad boys. (when in reality just a hot chick genetically drawn to large bank accounts)

    Got to hand it to Annie, that capture that will be infamous.

    Reply
  10. BEAM | January 4, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    “He is about as ghetto as Britt Hume. ”

    LOL. My thoughts exactly.

    Reply
  11. KaChingMe | January 4, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    Peculiar dichotomy. He is about as ghetto as Britt Hume. ((there is a ref there to Tiger but you will have to google it)
    Odd how he agreed to this look by Annie L. She probably convinced him it would be a nice diversion for his persona – wrong!
    OR
    Annie fooled him by saying her hot-looking lighting assistant turned into a nympho around bad boys. (when in reality just a hot chick genetically drawn to large bank accounts)

    Got to hand it to Annie, that capture that will be infamous.

    Reply
  12. Jessica | January 4, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    really hot…I remember that night when I was riding this hot piece of ass, who wouldn’t?!

    Reply
  13. Stuey | January 4, 2010 at 12:57 pm

    Really? That is considered hot?

    Reply
  14. havoc | January 4, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    Golf is not a sport.

    Why is he lifting weights?

    .

    Reply
  15. Richport's Ghost | January 4, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    He doesn’t represent the black male in a positive way (visually, let’s forget about his behavior)

    Denzel, Obama, hell, Samuel L Friggin’ Jackson are better looking.

    He swings a mean golf club (apparently so does his wife), but when it comes to looks, Tiger’s looks are probably in the bottom third.

    Reply
  16. 4/4 timing | January 4, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    Adebisi FTW

    Reply
  17. Fuck | January 4, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    LMAO!!!!

    Can you say “Photoshopped”????

    The only part of Woods in that photo is his head.

    Reply
  18. AmericanWhiteTrash | January 4, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    Behold! New image: BAD BOY!

    The manufactured wholesome country club good guy everyone likes thing is dead now I reckon…

    They need the billion dollar marketing campaign to keep flowing on this guy. Big bucks are at stake because he is no doubt an amazing golfer just find it funny how I saw this coming from a mile away as soon as everyone found out he fucks everything in sight.

    Reply
  19. Trailer Park Inhabiter | January 4, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    Wow to think this animal is worth a zillion dollars for nothing of course and this is the best he can look? Faggot has no abs at all and a scrawny chest with hideous, demonic black nipples.
    I love how, as Mr. American White Trash has pointed out, the “industry” (read: crooks with all our money) supports this pervert. Nothing surprising there just read the news, we are sinking fast and faster. Better stock up on your provisions gang.

    Reply
  20. statingtheobvious | January 4, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Tiger isn’t black, but mixed race. Keanu Reeves isn’t white, he is Eurasian. I never understand the confusion.

    and Tiger is sucking it in for this pics and lifting a weight in this shot. Nice try! :D

    Reply
  21. Viv | January 4, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    Vanity Fair got Tiger to strip for their cover??? I didn’t know they were THAT desperate to sell some magazines….He looks ok, though, I would expect to see him like this in a cover of Playboy, Man’s Health or any magazine of the sort, certainly not Vanity Fair…oh well, since they get almost naked women for their covers, why not Tiger.

    Reply
  22. hooch | January 4, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    amazing title

    Reply
  23. Beautiful but bitter. | January 4, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    What the WHAT?! I really don’t think that he looks overly amazing by any means.

    Reply
  24. Donnie Brassballs | January 4, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    Hmm, looks more like a nice cameraphone picture taken by one of his mistresses.

    Reply
  25. Rhialto | January 4, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Nice try but i’m not into men! I’m not gonna save your ass!

    Reply
  26. TUBBO | January 4, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    Assuming he got his pump on before this picture was taken………he is a total bitch………nice 15lb dumbells

    Reply
  27. Depraved Girl | January 4, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    I’d still hit it — with a bag over his head and a full body condom!

    Reply
  28. chupacabra | January 4, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    ewwww. BARF.

    By the way, look at how his nipples look like eyes, the weird stomach muscles look like a snout, then the giant bellybutton looks like a mouth.

    FREAK!

    Reply
  29. Nero | January 4, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    Not bad but there’re a few things what could be better!

    Reply
  30. sunshine | January 4, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    Ya, no wait, #20?? You mean that Obama is not the first Black President after all?

    Reply
  31. chav | January 4, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    Damn those black nipples are ugly! Not to mention all the pimples on his chest.

    Reply
  32. OMG | January 4, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    I think he started working out after getting stalked by this weirdo in the green unitard: http://www.unitarduniverse.com/tiger-woods-17th-unitard-universe
    This photo is so weird – What makes you decide to wear a full-body suit to a golf course?

    Reply
  33. Barry Dangle | January 4, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    @ 30: He was raised moslem, but a hybrid for sure. Could be an illegal alien too! I think it’s funny, refusing to show his paperwork & telling everyone to STFU & kiss his a**! Ahnold S is getting pissed…

    Reply
  34. Hmm | January 4, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    Does he have a tattoo around his nipple?

    Reply
  35. woods'scandal | January 4, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    know more about woods’scandal??? there are many sexy pics about he and the mistress

    Reply
  36. kimk | January 4, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    PAPER BAAAAAAAAAAG IT

    so whats this whole … bad boy look ?

    Reply
  37. kimk | January 4, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    PAPER BAAAAAAAAAAG IT

    so whats this whole … bad boy look ?

    Reply
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    Reply
  40. tina | January 4, 2010 at 9:39 pm

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    Reply
  41. valentines day | January 4, 2010 at 9:48 pm

    He does have a good physique and is going to be a hard hitter in the prison too.

    Reply
  42. gunpowder tea | January 4, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    This is political? What office does Tiger hold? Or is his wife in office? How will their relationship effect the nation?

    Reply
  43. i'm eating pepperoni pizza right now | January 5, 2010 at 12:25 am

    Tempted by the fruit of another
    Tempted but the truth is discovered
    What’s been going on
    Now that you have gone there’s no other
    Tempted by the fruit of another
    Tempted but the truth is discovered
    I bought a novell, some perfume, a fortune all for you
    But it’s not my conscience that hates to be untrue.
    I asked of my reflection,
    Tell me what is there to do?
    Tempted by the fruit of another
    Tempted but the truth is discovered
    What’s been going on
    Now that you have gone there’s no other
    Tempted by the fruit of another
    Tempted but the truth is discovered
    la la la la laaalalalaa laa!
    ? ?

    Reply
  44. SEXY_BABY | January 5, 2010 at 12:54 am

    LOL @ “Pumps and a Bump.” So wrong…but so right.

    So not feelin’ the cover, tho. Feels like they were copying D’Angelo’s “Untitled” and added a cap and weights to make it seem “original.” Meh.

    But hey…YMMV. It’ll still sell. As for me, I’ll hold onto my pennies.

    Reply
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  49. GG1000 | January 5, 2010 at 9:27 am

    Liebovitz is awesome; she always gets something totally unexpected. The eyes are what gets me – that’s the most miserable looking billionaire I’ve ever seen.

    Reply
  50. Pimples are sexy | January 5, 2010 at 11:09 am

    Liebovitz is a pig. She takes disgusting pics and they are risque so therefore creative.
    Tiger is hideous and puny for a guys who bodybuilds. Genetic runt. Black nipples how gross.

    Reply

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