Tiger Woods is cured!
Tiger Woods has completed his stay in rehab and just wants to get back to making millions of dollars which, when you think about it, is what got him here in the first place. PopEater reports:
Woods, who has not seen his two children for more than a month, has been living in a small cabin and attending group therapy sessions at the clinic, called Gentle Path.
According to the Melbourne Herald Sun, Woods could be back playing competitive golf as early as Feb. 17 at the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship in Tucson.
“Only a fortnight after allegedly checking into a sex addiction clinic in Mississippi, the world No. 1 is set to stun the world by returning to the Dove Mountain course where he made his comeback from knee surgery last year,” according to the newspaper.
Of course anyone who believes Tiger Woods was attempting any kind of rehabilitation is kidding themselves. I’ll bet you five cocktail waitresses this was all a front for his lawyers and Elin to talk to some sense into him.
TIGER: So you’re telling me I could save my family OR drop $80 mil right now, proceed to hemorrhage money for the rest of my life but still bang all the women I want? Interesting…
ELIN: *puts on brass knuckles*
TIGER: Haha, did I say “interesting?” I meant, when’s dinner? — Sweetheart.