If you consider Russell Simmon’s Twitter a reliable source, Tiger Woods is supposedly sending a plane full of medical supplies to Haiti presumably to atone for his wandering cock:
I heard tiger woods donating to send a cargo plane with a mobile hospital out there. Keep ur prayers high!
Tiger woods is doing something AMAZING!!!!
Really? A flying hospital? That’s it? What a fucking cheapskate. C’mon, Tiger, you’ve got enough money to buy these people a brand new earthquake-proof island. Or, shit, give them one of the ten you barely even use. Trust me, they’re not gonna care if it’s covered in panties, champagne bottles and shallow graves that smell of shower curtains. We’ll get some brooms.