Tiger Woods f-cked Jessica Simpson

December 16th, 2009 // 86 Comments

Because Star Magazine remembered there’s a picture of Tiger Woods and Jessica Simpson together, here’s a story about them having sex behind Tony Romo’s back:

Just days before Jessica’s split with Tony Romo, she had a sizzling meeting with the fallen golf star at the AT&T National Pro-Am golf tournament in Bethesda, Md.
“Tiger liked what he saw and let her know it,” a source tells Star.
Since Jess had been fighting with Tony — who was Tiger’s golf partner at the July tournament — she gave as good as she got.
“Jessica said that she felt like Tony wasn’t paying attention to her, so she was like, ‘What the heck!’ ” says the source. “She decided to have fun with Tiger whether it bothered Tony or not.”

If by “Tiger liked what he saw and let her know it” Star really meant “he told Jessica Simpson there’s an Arby’s in his golf pants,” I’m on board with this. There’s literally no way that wouldn’t have worked. None.

Photos: Getty

  1. Que

    Que awesome.

  2. Elle diabla

    Oh I don’t believe this worth a fuck!

  3. Megan

    Tiger Woods isn’t a KFC bowl; this couldn’t have happened.

  4. kimk

    she said :

    ” what the heck ”

    hahahhahahahahhahaahaha hillbilles only say that

  5. Hahaha… They just make shit up out of thin air. There’s a picture of them together smiling and posing for a photograph, so they must have fucked.

    These worthless tabloid rags have no shame… What a joke. And of course the American public, mostly fat housewives, buys this shit and is entertained by it, even in the age of the Internet when all this shit is available for free. Just… Wow.

  6. Nick

    She’s the shortest, fattest chick he’s banged yet – proof that Tiger is so horny, he’d bang anything.

  7. buzz

    Ahahaha fk damn tiger. I wish i can high five him and laff at the silly ho’s
    Jessica is probably having the Ben and Jerry plant closed while she eats inside the ice cream vats

  8. dave

    Say what you want, but there are very few women hotter than Jessica in that dress.

  9. Kim

    He sure does like the trailer trash, so why not bang Jessica, obese queen of the trailer trash

  10. Sport

    I gotta say I’m not a fan of hers, but she does rock that dress pretty nicely.

  11. Sunni

    So now he fucked jessica??? Can we say get off of tigers nut sack! Who gives a fuck?

  12. Mmmmm

    Mmmmm………..she’s juicy.

  13. migher (t9)

    He fucked her during the filming of Dukes of Hazard along with Dax and Johnny Knoxville.

  14. Double Post

    He fucked her during the filming of Dukes of Hazard along with Dax and Johnny Knoxville

  15. who dat

    Any straight guy on earth would love to titty fuck her. I hear she really enjoys a hot pearl necklace.

  16. NOT just sayin'...

    I would fuck that fat bitch she’d giggle the whole time

  17. Joel

    How ironic that the banner advert at the top of this page is one for nike and Tiger Woods!

  18. Dank24

    Was someone really that fucking bored at Star magazine they had to make up this totally unbelievable story? Jesus. What’s next, Tiger fucked Tina Yuthers from Family Ties?

  19. Hoax & Chan$e

    You got peanut butter in my chocolate.

    Jessica does not do dark meat, sorry Tigger.

  20. stupidass

    i wonder if, when he busts a nut, he says “TIGER SHOT!!”

  21. Nero

    TW meeting Jessica Simpson is like when Sodom meets Gomorrah.

  22. blackhandwhitehand

    Sorta funny how the hand on Jessica Simpson’s back (last photo) clearly isn’t tiger’s. You know, ’cause he’s black?

  23. jlylec

    tiger fucked tina yuthers too? damn that’s gross.

  24. Alex DeLarge

    Wonder if he fucked the Judd’s?

  25. andy7171

    LOL at #4!

  26. Drew

    Who hasn’t fucked the Judd’s?

  27. Mac

    Tiger Woods is gross but what about Jessica Simpson?

    She said Nick’s thing wasn’t big enough – whore move number one.

    She went on to bang John Mayer, Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Billy Corgan and Tiger Woods in the pan of three years.

    You know you’re a whore when…. you’re banging someone on average of every 6 months. These are just celebrities. Who knows how many other celebrities let alone nobodies we don’t know about that she has slept with. Gross.

  28. Hugh Jorgaan

    @27 What planet were you born on? Bet your mom banged more than one guy every six months. Hell, in this day and age every bangin a new guy every six months is considered saintly behavior.

  29. pimp

    i would love to eat her asshole…i bet you could have a more stimulating conversation with her asshole then you could with her…

  30. Is it wrong to want to be like Tiger…?

  31. Doc Schweinstrudel

    They both have that retarded smirk

  32. Jeremy

    You fat idiots, Jessica is hot and looks smokin in that dress. We dont date women because of how they might talk if they are that hot. Cant believe she would have sex with Tiger.

  33. IKE

    It’s going to get to the point that if he walked by an attractive chick, it’s “he fucked her.”
    In a month he’s going to be the next Wilt Chamberlain, but without the actual poking. :)

  34. Heywood Jablomi

    #19, if it was good enough for your mom’s, it ought to be good enough for Jess.

  35. Name (required):

    I don’t care what ya’ll say…I’d bang the shit outta her if I had the opportunity.

  36. Helena

    Wow, her ass is nonexistent.

  37. i guess he really is black. Chasing after chubby white girls.

  38. Jackson

    Tiger’s the man dude!!

  39. Jackson

    Tiger’s the man dude!!

  40. Jackson

    Tiger’s the man dude!!

  41. Jackson

    Tiger’s the man dude!!

  42. Jackson

    Tiger’s the man dude!!

  43. Jackson

    Tiger’s the man dude!!

  44. Sam

    I don’t blame him, I would too. Just look at those curves. Despite the fact that John Mayer’s penis has already been down those slopes.

  45. Hotmom

    He lost some of his sponser money but, I bet Valtrex will be coming after him soon.

  46. me

    not fair! i wanna fuck her too!

  47. Amber

    God, people will believe anything won’t they? I like the Arby’s comment, mean, yet amusing.

  48. saywha?

    if she did tony romo & nick lachey, why wouldn’t she do tiger? seriously, she’s a fat idiot who likes douchebags and he likes white chicks with big (__|__)’s…perfect combo!

  49. Candy

    Totally believable. Like most fat chicks, especially ones that were once hot, Jessica will fuck anyone who gives her the least bit of attention. She has super low self esteem, smothered in cellulite.

  50. she is still hot

    Jessica Simpson is the hottest chick he has banged- easily. his big nostrilled skeletor looking wife has nothing on Jessica.

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