BREAKING: Tiger Woods f-cked himself out of Congressional Gold Medal

With Tiger Woods’ penile conquests making headlines every nanosecond, California congressman Joe Baca has scrapped plans to pass legislation awarding the golfer the Congressional Gold Medal, according to the LA Times:

But today Baca, an avid golfer, told the Hill newspaper that he was withdrawing the bill. With Woods sort of radioactive at the moment and congressional approval ratings in the tank already, somehow it just didn’t seem like a good idea.
“In light of the recent developments surrounding Tiger Woods and his family, I will not pursue legislation awarding him the Congressional Gold Medal this session,” he said.

So, wait, we were going to award Tiger Woods the Gold Medal for knocking a ball in a cup, but not for miraculously parlaying the most boring sport in the world into an endless bath of porn star vagina?

Politics are gay.

Photos: Getty