Tiger Woods doesn’t get free cars anymore. Why, God? WHY?!

General Motors has decided not to renew its agreement with Tiger Woods that allowed him to drive several free vehicles including the Escalade Elin Woods would’ve split in two with her bare hands had the authorities not shown up. USA Today reports:

Even though Woods’ endorsement contract for GM’s Buick brand ended in 2008, Woods had been allowed to keep several vehicles, including the Cadillac SUV and reportedly a Buick Enclave crossover, for his personal use. But the agreement that allowed the world’s richest professional golfer access to those new vehicles ended Dec. 31, said Buick spokeswoman Dayna Hart. The agreement was in place before the crash.

For anyone who actually feels the least bit of sympathy over this news, Tiger Woods could sell his snot on eBay for a million dollars just to buy 20 cars to prop up an old desk in his garage. Just the other day I saw him throw a LeSabre at a squirrel that was chewing on his bird feeder.

Photo: Getty