This J-Woww person took nude photos? I don’t believe it.

The Superficial / January 26, 2010

Well, this was only a matter of time. One of the female cast-members on Jersey Shore is the subject of nude photos currently being shopped around, according to RadarOnline:

There are at least three photos of J-Woww, RadarOnline.com has confirmed. In one photo, she is facing the camera, topless. It’s shot from the waist up and will certainly not disappoint her male fans.
A second photo shows J-Woww slightly turned, but with her back mainly toward the camera. She is wearing a skimpy wrap around her waist but that does not obscure the rear view! She’s also wearing boots.
The third photo is a full length topless frontal shot, where J-Woww is again wearing a small wrap around her waist and boots. The pics are shot with moody lighting against a brownish background.

Since I’m a betting man, I’m going to assume these photos are being passed around by the same publicist who sent me a completely serious e-mail with the following subject line:

MTV MEGA STAR J-WOWW TO SPEAK TO MEDIA TOMORROW REGUARDING SECURITY ISSUES OF HER HOMECOMING CELEBRATION ON LONG ISLAND AFTER ALMOST RIOT

Really? “Mega Star?” For what? Grinding random strangers on TV only to dick herself out of a second season by not realizing other women in Jersey can buy implants, too? Because if that’s the only criteria for stardom, I happen to also excel at making shit-ass decisions. Check this out:

*sits through entire episode of Jersey Shore*

TA-DA! (Shoot me in the retina.)