This Post Was About Kate Winslet Getting Married, Then This Happened

Posted by Photo Boy

Kate Winslet secretly wed something called ‘Ned Rocknroll’ earlier this month, so let’s all go ahead and assume that’s just a hairdoll made from Leonardo DiCaprio’s beard trimmings and move on to a much more pressing matter. That pic up there. Yep, that’s Jessica Simpson’s husband, Eric Johnson, gazing at his sister-in-law’s bikini-clad ass. And did I mention he’s drunk? Because he’s probably also drunk. I used to wonder if Eric Johnson might be the smartest man in the world, but now I’m positive of it. Not only did he manage to permanently link his DNA with Little Debbie’s fashion empire, but he also doubled down on that shit as soon as he realized Weight Watchers was onto their $3 million design plan to convert their pool into a deep fryer. “What? Your sister’s butt? No, no honey, she sat on a bag of Cheetos in the car and I was just trying to brush off the crumbs for he– AHH, MY FINGERS, SHE BIT MY GODDAMN FINGERS OFF!!” (They were chocolate decoys. See above: Man in The Word, Smartest)

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily