This Is Who Tim Tebow Lost To

January 14th, 2012 // 136 Comments
Tom Brady Waterslide

So maybe that abortion wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Just throwing that out there.

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  2. The HChick

    Who the f*ck is Tim Tebow?

  3. VDM

    This site never posts anything over the weekends. What kind of scumbags hate a nice guy THAT much?

    • Turk

      Best Article of 2012 already.

    • cc

      Me! Although I would substitute ‘posturing phony’ for ‘nice guy’.

    • @Belly Probably the same feeling as being butthurt that some guy manipulated thousands of legitimate Christians (including you) that his success was attributed to praying and then lost to a statistically superior QB who merely practices and thinks about football day and night and never once tried to jam his faith down everyone’s face out of “humility”.

      Yeah, that’s the feeling.

      • Truant

        “some guy manipulated thousands of legitimate Christians (including you) that his success was attributed to praying”
        Holy shit, here I thought that was the entire concept of religion, when apparently it was something Tim Tebow thought up when he got to the NFL to piss off America.
        Thanks Willie, you should teach Religion and History.

  4. Andrea

    Where are his Uggs?

  5. Sometimes we take things to a whole new and unnecessary level… and I don’t even like Tebow…

  6. Everybody loses to a topless Alessandra Ambrosio.

    • Ibnu

      incredible will to win, which a writer from Midwest Sports Fans is going as far as aillcng Jordan-esque. Critics would be utterly remiss to not mention how well the Broncos underrated defense has been

    • Matheus

      Read Matthew 6:1-18. The statement Jesus made in verse 6 in his Sermon on the Mount warns his foowllers away from hypocritical religious behavior. Critics of “Tebowing” have sometimes pointed to this verse, suggesting that the football player is violating the principle Jesus himself stated. In context, however, Jesus was not telling people to avoid public praying per se. The entire passage shows that Jesus was talking about the motives behind going public with one’s religious practices, including charitable acts (vv. 2-4), praying (vv. 5-15) and fasting (vv. 16-18). Jesus was objecting to the then common self-regarding practice in his culture of appearing pious to impress people and promote one’s status and reputation. He was calling for true religion: acts of charity and piety motivated by a desire to help others and serve God. By giving to others anonymously (v. 3), praying privately (v. 6) and fasting without calling attention to it (v. 17), we avoid the temptation to say (or think), “Look how holy I am!” Questions: In light of this passage, would you say more of us who follow Jesus should be giving unsolicited testimonies of faith in public? Why or why not? What keeps most of us from making such public testimonies?

  7. someone who doesn't suck

    oh aaaaaaaaahahahahaha aaaaaaaaahahahahahah hysterical. tremendously hysterical.

  8. Shak139

    what has america a Christian country become since when do we fault a person for praying who cares if he does it on the field or on his bed at night time he should not be getting the slack he has hes a great player and made it much more further than these “haters” thought

    • JK

      There’s a time and a place, and shoving it up everyones ass out in the middle of the field in a game isn’t it. He’s self righteous and annoying.

      • SYS

        What about that baseball player, I don’t remember his name, who always crossed himself when he came up to bat?

      • Buddy the Elf

        well said.

      • cc

        +1
        Just play the frickin’ game. I don’t drop to one knee and pray in the office lunchroom when I win a proposal. Why does he get to do it in his ‘workspace’ ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME?

    • Snack pack

      It’s called grammar and punctuation. It’s not hard or scary. Give it a try.

    • Sycarious

      Fuck you. We first came here to get away from religious bullshit. America is not a Christian nation, we’re the “Melting pot” of everything and anything, dumb-ass.

      • We came here to escape religious persecution. not religious bullshit. Subtle difference.

      • McDingles

        Sycarious

        By saying “we” do you mean you came over with the with some of the first settlers? That would easily make you 200 plus years old! Please let me be the first here to thank you for everything you’ve done for the nation and the world…

      • jayman

        Why don’t you read the Constitution and the writing of our Founding Fathers. Then tell me that we’re not a Christian nation. We are all free to practice any religion we choose but this country was founded on the principles of a Judeo-Christian society.

    • Average Guy

      He also doesn’t derseve any of the merit, he’s a shit QB who can barely through a ball, yet the religious fan compare him to legendary players…

      Did god stop supporting Tebow last night, Or was he trying to feed kids in africa…. Bhaha neither, he’s worthless

    • Hey Hick Fuck You!

      I think the Bronco’s kicker would call you on your bullshit. It wasn’t Tim Tebow, it was the team. I don’t hate Tebow. However, when you shove your religion down peoples’ throats (his pro-life commercial with his Mom, for example), you have to expect some backlash. This is not a Christian country, exclusively. It’s assholes like you that think it is. In a lot of ways I feel sorry for Tebow, even though he is more than willing to be blown out of proportion. Fox news and the religous right overhyped this kid so badly there is going to be a lot of pressure on him to produce, and from the looks of that game against the Pats last night, he is far from being the “great” player you insist he is.

    • chupacabra

      Try a comma, or a period, asshole. I’ve only seen a worse assault on grammar from fucking Pakistanis.

    • Do_Freebird

      Just for a point of clarification. Baseball players who cross themselves before an at bat are usually praying that they don’t get hit in the head with a fastball. Baseball players who point to the sky while crossing home plate after hitting a homer are asshats.

      • Satan's bitch

        Tom Frank: I think I love you!

      • belly savalas

        Athletes praying on the sidelines, pointing to the sky, crossing their chests, kissing their rosaries…it’s gone on for YEARS AND YEARS. Nothing new here.
        Reggie White used to PREACH in the locker room – and I don’t remember him garnering a fraction of the flack in his entire career than Tebow has from you atheist hacks this past year.
        So he did a commercial, where he just tells his story…so what? It wasn’t “in your face” or offensive – but if you took it that way, that’s your problem. Perhaps you feel guilty? Or your contempt for anyone taking a moral stand on anything infuriates you to the point of foaming at the mouth at the very mention of any beliefs derived from religion? At any rate, you’re embarrassing yourselves.

    • BillyJo

      @ McDingles, it would actually make him 400+ years old. Yay history!

    • He respects God so much he prays for touchdowns, because the Almighty, Creator of the Universe, is very involved in football games.

  9. Venom

    Thank you Tom Brady and The Patriots for putting an end to this shit.

    Exposed…

    • VAxB

      Shut your whore mouth ass.

    • Snack pack

      You knew it had to happen at some point. No chance that his make-it-up-as-you-go-along style of football could work forever. Now he’ll have to train like a real QB and give Him the day off on Sunday next fall. I’m just glad the 9ers put an end to all the hype over Brees and all that “Who Dat” shit. 9ers!

    • chupacabra

      Every time the Patriots score, an angel gets its wings!

  10. abort_yourself

    Wow. The author of this post takes loser to a whole new level. Grow up.

    • trinity

      Says the hypocritical idiot who chose “abort yourself” as their oh-so-clever user name, thereby creating yet another new level of loser that needs to grow up. Get thee behind me, douchebag.

  11. doctor snuggles

    pssst: THIS IS MORE THAN COMPLICATED ENOUGH FOR HIM!!

  12. SatanLovesTebow

    LoL , you Fundie minority majority can eat some shit, your golden boy lost , so sad , too bad. Maybe he should have prayed harder ? or maybe god was busy with real shit , like starving orphans or cleft lip third word babies.

  13. LJ

    ….and the Steelers lost to Tebow…..suck it ’till next season.

  14. Tebow jokes are fine, but really?

    Love the site- usually it’s a good mix of witty commentary and Snookie jokes. I like that. Hating on Tim Tobby is not a hobby of mine but that’s okay. Supporting his abortion (and I know the back story well) is just downright malicious and I don’t come here for that shit. He plays football, badly or courageously, but that’s all he does. He doesn’t ask for the cameras, for the interviews, for the stupid heated debates, etc, like some “celebrities” do. Please stick to your material and stop disappointing a faithful visitor of the site. I understand you can keep making these type of jokes and my future absence will mean absolutely nothing, it’s just that I thought this site was better than that.
    Anyway, sorry for the rant but I like to stand up for what I believe in. As petty as some might consider it.

    • “He doesn’t ask for the cameras, for the interviews, for the stupid heated debates, etc.” Bull-fucking-shit.

      From Wikipedia:
      “In the 2009 BCS Championship Game, he wore John 3:16 on his eye black; the verse was the highest-ranked Google search term over the next 24 hours, generating over 90 million searches. Additionally, later, when Tebow switched to another verse, there were 3.43 million searches of ‘Tim Tebow’ and ‘Proverbs 3:5-6′ together. Tebow stated of the searches, ‘It just goes to show you the influence and the platform that you have as a student-athlete and as a quarterback at Florida.’ ”

      He knows he’s getting this attention and he milks it for all it’s worth. So spare us the sanctimonious “he just shows up and does his job” argument, because it’s crap.

      • Boner Steve

        Go fuck yourself, TomFrank.

      • Blonde

        Thank you! He’s not asking for attention? Then pray in private! Quit hyping up that your god is taking his time to give you an extra touchdown. Put down the bible and pick up the playbook!

    • Venom

      There is nothing humble about Tim Tebow, he is the atypical Christian con artist. He found a way to appeal to the Nascar demographic and sell books and jerseys and get more endorsements.

      He could have come out and stopped all of this from the very beginning and told people to stop treating him like he was some deity but he did not, he lapped it up and encouraged it just by saying nothing.

      The world is full of these Christian con artists that use religion to separate people from their money whether it be Joel Osteen or Creflo Dollar. I have three of these bastards that live in my neighborhood in big million dollar plus homes and drive six figure cars and they are not even the richest ones; there is one guy that has a massive house that makes ours look like sheds, a plane and enough cars for a small car dealership. One of my friends owns a car customization shop and this guy would come in and charge tens of thousands of dollars on the church credit card for customization jobs for his and his son’s cars all the time.

    • Go take your own advice, Boner Steve. TomFrank is one of the more intelligent and better commentors here as he can actually back up what he says, unlike sad little kneejerks like you.

  15. SIN

    Brady gets to fuck a super model while Tebow is probably gay. If it wasn’t for football Tebow would be a Catholic Priest, going after young boys.

  16. RJ

    Funny, its not like the guy on the slide is good at his job or anything….and lets also say Tim, who hasn’t done anything wrong for all the hate, should have been aborted, but on the same topic of football act like you give a shit about the kids who got raped by Sandusky.

    Then again, this is the mindset of a guy who’s contribution to the world is writing little stories online about famous people…

  17. f0sse

    I’m pretty sure this post is making more fun of Tom Brady than Tebow, and it’s awesome. Doesn’t anyone have a sense of humor anymore? Geez.

  18. Rob

    Those hands would be down if there was a man bent over in front of him.

  19. I can just hear the high-pitched “WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.”

  20. Goddamn, Fish. I’d rather have my quarterback shrieking on a waterslide than raping hillbilly girls in a nightclub. And as for Jesus in a Jersey, it’s ESPN that mentions his name 70 times an hour, then wonders aloud at all the inordinate attention he receives.

  21. KC

    His tampon string is showing.

  22. pretty vacant

    if u look real close at that stone wall in that pic, u can see jesus’ face.

  23. tlmck

    God took the day off?

  24. McDingles

    No one here would ever admit it, but you know if Tebow wasn’t a Christian, nobody would be saying a word about him. If he was a Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu or of any other belief, nobody would say a peep…in fact, you’d probably respect him…

  25. TEBOWIE

    Brady is the man . He sleeps with the richest supermodel on the planet and is fierce opponent in football and one of the best players to ever play the game. I think the Fish has a jealous streak in his underroos on this one, GO PATS.

    • …and the Pats haven’t won a Super Bowl since Spy Gate. But, Brady is an amazing QB, though he learned a thing or two about arrogance when the Giants beat them in the Super Bowl, just a Tebow got worked heavy duty by Brady. The righteous football teams won yesterday on all counts, IMO.

  26. Blonde

    Tebow is just an average QB that got way too much hype. The whole nation tuned in to see if a “miracle” would happen, but instead it was a lamb to a slaughter… pun much? And the Focus on the Family christian commercials? Too much. I don’t need to see brainwashed kids for 60 seconds.
    Separation of church and football!

  27. POWW

    Fish, every now and then, you cross the line and I think it’s just to get everyone riled up and comment. Well played. But…superficial and venomous are not the same. Your hatred for anything remotely chrstian gets the best of you all the time. As far as Tebow goes, he’s a fuxking rookie. Let’s see where he is in 5 years. I am not a Denver fan but can’t stand the patriots, their quarterback and especially their cheater coach. Just so you know, some of us were rooting for Tebow because we can’t stand the other team. Though I pretty much knew it’d play out the way it did. Don’t become venomous.com No offense to you venom–though I don’t agree with your post here.

  28. Lost what to?
    Who is Tim Tebow?
    WHAT’S GOING ON AROUND HERE?!

  29. PtC

    I love abortion jokes, and abortions.

    I think there should be more abortions. With a few exceptions, this entire comment thread is the reason why.

    Nothing should be off limits. There is no “line” to cross, there’s only how much will it take to make your vaginas hurt. Apparently abortion jokes are it.

    • Lauren

      exactly!

    • Elitists are People Too

      I am an extremely sensitive person who only visits celebrity web sites for viewing tits and ass. I would prefer all commentary to be sterile and non offensive so as not to disturb my insulated insecurities related to controversial subject matter. Is it really necessary to push boundaries of communication beyond socially cleansed acceptability?

      Who really wins when web sites like the fish expose visitors to uncensored free speech? Shouldn’t sensitive individuals like myself be able to tell them what to say and how to say it? I suppose I can only hope that the next time Stephanie Seymore bends over and gives her son an erection that the writer of this site uses quality judgement in what they decide to offer as a suitable description.

    • Lisatlantic

      THIS.

  30. The Royal Penis

    More proof that God doesn’t love Tebow and that Tebow has Stockholm syndrome.

    • MisterSuccint

      Tebow has Kneel Down Syndrome

    • Ahmed

      “Tim Tebow will throw for 300 yards and run for 100 yards in a win vs. the Patriots in week 15.” Nelson Sousa, scoutPro “Fantasy owners aonurd the world will start a Hasselbeckian quarterback over Tim Tebow in the playoffs because ‘there’s no way Tebow can keep doing this, right?’ They will regret it until at least Week 1 of 2012.” Eric Pehowic, Chinstrap Ninjas “Tim Tebow will guide the Broncos to three more consecutive wins, finishing 11-1 as a regular-season starter for the Broncos in 2011. This will have the Broncos finishing the 2011 NFL regular season with an 11-5 record. Want bold? Tebow will do all of this while playing like a top 5 fantasy QB! And, no, we’re not jumping on the wagon here if you read our article posted back in August, which called out the media-driven hate directed to Tebow, well, then you can see that we helped construct the Tim Tebow wagon. NFL greatness is already upon us fantasy greatness is the next step. Enjoy the show!” – Smitty, FantasyFootballXtreme Tim Tebow will be a top-5 fantasy quarterback for the final three weeks. Tebow is clearly progressing as a passer and he continues to carry value as a dual threat. He has a terrific matchup in the passing game against the weak Patriots pass defense in week 15, a dream matchup against an overall pathetic Bills defense in week 16, and a matchup with a sunken Chiefs team to end the season. The Broncos will fight to the finish every week until the season ends, while even in his worst outing, Tebow has never dipped under 14 fantasy points.” – Kevin Roberts, NFL Soup I want to thank all the experts that gave us their crystal ball readings. Your bold predictions are in print now let’s see if anyone nails these long shots! Which reminds me, if you’re ever curious about which experts were high or low on certain players with their preseason rankings, just click on the Draft Rankings tab on any of our player pages. You’ll instantly see who really loved/hated the player. Got a bold prediction too? Let us know! Photo Credits: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 6

  31. BabygirljeR

    This comment threat is hysterical. It’s good that the men are getting involved on these blog sites. :-P

  32. Lauren

    Tim Tebow is a brainwashed idiot who needs to stop his embarrassing public displays of stupidity.

  33. Mary

    Is there anyone that knows about football on here? Tebow didn’t lose, the Broncos did. They sucked last night. God has nothing to do with football right? So he had nothing to do with the Broncos winning 6 games in a row. They are just no match for the Pats. Hate him all you want but who he is has nothing to do with the game. And, the season will end with another easy Super Bowl win by the Brady bunch. They are hands down the best team out there.

  34. cc

    The 45-10 loss made me very happy, although an even bigger blowout would have made me happier.

    Does it mean that God stopped listening to him prattle on and on about his faith? If it was me, I’d be sick of his voice.

    • rican

      cc, your posts reveal a high level of ignorance regarding religious beliefs and faith.

      • cc

        Considering the strife and suffering that religion breeds, I take pride in being totally indifferent to religious teachings. So, if that was intended as an insult, it wasn’t.

  35. Jill

    Tom Brady’s hair plugs looked fabulous!!!

  36. Boner Steve

    You can delete that comment as many times as you want; I’m just going to keep putting it back up.

  37. Penny98

    The abortion comment was downright unnecessary.

  38. Shaftzits

    LOL sports are ghey

  39. ChinaSuperficial

    Nothing on this post involves football at all. All of the people mentioned in the post, both the effeminate bonker of supermodels and the not-at-all-repressed-homosexual virgin, are playing gridiron. David Beckham plays football.

  40. This is Madness

    I may not be a hardcore Patriots fan, but Tom Brady is sexy. I don’t care what the hell he does when he’s going down a slide, as well as he’s decent when he goes down other places… ;)

  41. PtC

    Seriously, if a fucking abortion joke pisses you guys off so much you have no business even coming to this site. Go abort yourselves.

  42. GirlInABoysWorld

    First of all everyone is entitled to their opinions however, faulting a man for his religious is silly. If praying on the field is that offensive just don’t watch. As for him being some “amazing” QB its probably safe to conclude that for Tebow amazing is not a realistic description of his passing skills. At times he is fun to watch because he is an athlete. All in all football is just football and let’s not let the Tebow factor out shine a proven performer such as Tom Brady.

  43. srslyguyzyoufailsohard

    First, that’s not even a funny joke to throw out there.
    It doesn’t make you witty, it isn’t remotely funny, and you seriously are going to knock on ONE guy that happens to actually do good in the world? You guys are so hardcoooooore.

    Now here comes the fail-train of people to deliver anti-God and abortion fail-jokes. /trollface

    • cc

      ‘that happens to actually do good in the world?’

      What the fuck good does he do? Pander to Evangelicals, people so stunned they support Rick Santorum who, amongst other genius ideas, would allow states to ban contraception…not abortion, contraception! In the 21st century?

      Tebow’s ‘good work’ is about as noteworthy as showing up at a college party with a keg and persuading people to drink it.

  44. rican

    The moron-o-meter in this post is about to bust!!!

    • I miss Bill Hicks

      Santa Jesus is laughing at Tebow with the Tooth Fairy and Bigfoot. I don’t let a book of heresay dictate my life.

  45. Donald Trump

    I’ve seen that look of glee on many a man’s face before! Yeah baby!

  46. Do_Freebird

    God likes Tim Tebow, but he had the Patriots +3.

  47. Cock Dr

    Unless it involves full frontal nudity, rape or child molestation sports posts are boring.
    Now let’s go see what people wore to the Golden Globes and make fun of it.

  48. Tebow haters= celebrity rag consumers = Kardashian/ Jersey Shore target audience = ignorant, nihilist, entitled, uninteresting spawns of a decayed Western society.

    The entire readership of this cuasi-porn website is not worth one Tebow. You lazy, celebrity-ogling nobodys will never know what it’s like to be a decent and succesful person. Remember that when Tebow wins a Super Bowl.

    • cuasi = quasi
      succesful= successful
      nobodys = nobodies

      OK, now that we’ve gotten the ignorance factor out of the way, proving that you don’t anything actually read anything (you must have got lucky and overheard someone use the word “nihilist” somewhere) try to muddle through this: “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”

      In other words, don’t make a fucking sideshow spectacle of yourself because then your so-called devotion is really about the world’s opinion and impressing people with how devoted you are – in other words, you want a worldy result, not a spiritual one. Anyone who makes a show of praying out in public, let alone on television when he knows he’s got a crowd, is a self-aggrandising, arrogant, attentionseeking famewhore who only serves himself, not any higher power or purpose. If you sincerely think than any sort of all-powerful, all-knowing God is also so mindless, vain and stupid that he’d be impressed and drop a Super Bowl ring in gratitude then you deserve the sort of God that Tebow thinks he has wrapped around his finger.

      And if you’re not a member that same “celebrity ogling, decayed Western society” then just what, pray (oops) tell, are you doing on a gossip site?

    • I think it’s much lazier to think God will help you win football games rather than practice for them. There’s a reason Tebow was a third stringer. Sure he may get better, but it will be because he got a dose of reality to make it happen and not because God favors him over any other quarter back.

    • Unfortunately, Tebow’s the type that will conclude that he lost not because he didn’t practice hard, or is a third-stringer mediocre player, but because God is pissed that he didn’t pray hard enough or often enough.

  49. 431-Justin Aubersen

    The patriots is now facing Baltimore ravens, if they win over the ravens, and they need face 49ers or new york giants for the superbowl 46 title.

    • This is a great playoff season. I think the right teams are winning and deserving of their place. While I’m not a Pats fan, I gotta respect them. As 49ers fan, I would have been cool with losing to the Saints or Pack – great teams with true sportsmen.

  50. POWW

    Satin Bitch–the time clock wasn’t running. What he does on the sidelines, off the clock does not impact a football game.
    dumb ass

    • Since you’re attempting to reply to SATAN’S Bitch on page 1 and you’re somehow on Page 2, take a guess as to which one of you is the dumb ass?

      Back to the Tebow Show. Dan Wetzel’s column in November of last year showed that Tebow isn’t paying a fuck of a lot of attention to what’s happening on the field when he’s off it – despite the sanitized prayers caught on video, he did admit he was too busy praying for the other team to fuck up. Now that’s a player I’d like to have on my team – involved in the game and focussed on what his actual team – not Team Jesus – is doing.

      Secondly, for Tebow, or anyone else, to think that God will grant his team victory because he’s a Christian and the win will honor God, and if he prays for it on his knees he’s somehow more deserving, or a better person for that, is massively fucked up. Does that mean God will reward the grandstander for that public honor and glory, rather than smile on another player who prays quietly, modestly, and gives his all, yet doesn’t make a commercial out of the act?

      Fran Tarkenton is the son of a Pentacostal minister, and when he was in the NFL he had to get special dispensation from his church to play on Sundays. – and he never thought it was cool to pray for victory. “As a player … I never understood why God would care who won a game between my team and another. It seemed like there were many far more important things going on in the world. There were religious guys on both teams. If God gets credit for the win, does he also take blame for defeat?

      Asked if a less-pious quarterback would be winning such games, Pastor Wayne Hanson of Summit Church in Castle Rock, Colo., said: “No, of course not.” (Christin Science Monitor, 1/12/12). There ya go – from the horse’s ass — I mean, mouth.

      • POWW

        First of all, I would have replied directly; however, there wasn’t a “reply” area. Maybe I’m a computer dumb ass–but not
        a football dumbass. You Justifiable need to take a pill or have a drink and get off your high horse. It was a real effort to read your entire dribble.

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