This is What Slash’s Wife Kicked

February 7th, 2011 // 276 Comments

Just when you thought performing with the Black Eyed Peas last night was the most offensive thing Slash could ever do, it turns out Samantha Slopes (above) is the woman his wife Perla Ferrar decided to kick in the stomach backstage at an Ozzy concert thus defying all laws of logic and physics. TMZ reports:

Sources close to Slopes tell us … the model claims she and Slash had interacted online multiple times in the past year and she went to the Ozzy concert to watch Slash perform.
Slopes has told friends she was watching the show in the crowd when Slash and his wife Perla suddenly approached her … and Slash told her, “You caused a lot of trouble.”
Slopes claims Perla suddenly kicked her in the stomach — and had to be dragged away by security.

I’ve been sitting here trying to wrap my head around the logistics of how an attack like this is even physically possible, but all I keep coming up with is Slash forgoing rock star ass to talk to fat chicks on the Internet all day when his wife’s not around, which is just messed up. I’ve read stories about kids with cancers that are less depressing. I’m not saying someone needs to take Slash out to the shed and put him down, but I’m also not saying Ted Nugent wouldn’t be into it. We should feel him out.

superficial

  1. Samantha Slopes
    Soph
    Commented on this photo:

    More cushin’ for the pushing? LOL.

  2. Samantha Slopes
    Michael
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t stop laughing at this picture. Excellent job.

  3. Samantha Slopes
    Brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate sea mammals. I think we should put all sea mammals in the world on a boat, send it out to sea, and just sink it.

  4. Samantha Slopes
    Brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    Meh, she looked better in the last picture.

  5. Samantha Slopes
    Emma
    Commented on this photo:

    could you imagine how big her nipples must be? I’m thinking somewhere along the lines of the lid to the garbage can Oscar the grouch lives in.

  6. Samantha Slopes
    Jim
    Commented on this photo:

    Mooooooo…oh, excuse me “sea mooooooo”

  7. billabong021

    ROFL, can’t believe one well placed manatee pic could be so damn funny.

  8. Can Can

    Wonder if she literally farted when Perla booted her in the gunt

  9. Samantha Slopes
    404mage
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not cleavage—that’s a crack to the Earth’s core.

  10. Samantha Slopes
    404mage
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve gotta say that I’m impressed. Those beasties are huge, yet… there isn’t a roadmap of veins traversing them. Kudos to her!

  11. Samantha Slopes
    Luca
    Commented on this photo:

    Give her a break she looks amazing in the 3rd picture where she’s swimming.

  12. super size my big fries

    I get it, Slash likes thick girls….I mean look at his wife, she was a cow.

  13. cleverlemming

    Mrs. Slash has an airtight alibi. It’s called Newton’s law of Universal Gravitation.

  14. Samantha Slopes
    IttyBittyTittyCommittee
    Commented on this photo:

    Got Milk???

  15. villenuv27

    She’s about a quarter pound of plankton away from getting a Florida specialty plate.

  16. who cares?

    listen, we’re all really upset with the ever-increasing admission prices to sea world. but animal cruelty is never the answer.

  17. wim

    no doubt at all: THIS IS A FULL 100 PERCENT AMERICAN WOMAN.
    (hate to say this)

  18. wim

    but her CHOLESTROL-LEVEL is perfect, folks!!

  19. ntlj

    Looks like Stephenie Meyer is writing another book.

  20. Fuckjudger

    SHREK iv

  21. I’m strangely attracted….Anyone can have sex with a thin woman. It takes a man to nail a big girl. Besides I bet she is really soft and smells like cookies.

  22. aine

    The sad thing is I know people like this – fat, thin, pretty, ugly, it doesn’t matter – and they cling to famous people. And I mean ANYONE resembling famous. Then they think they have some sort of close relationship with said celebrity… Usually all from one encounter of getting an autograph or the like. It’s a quality often seen in borderline personality and various other personality disorders.
    In short, this fangirl most likely is emotionally disturbed and built up a fantasy on little to no interaction. Next up: she’ll be talking to Access Hollywood about her longtime friendship with Regis Philbin.

  23. Samantha Slopes
    Dorian Gray
    Commented on this photo:

    you don’t motorboat those, you aircraft carrier them.

  24. Burt

    Right, I believe it really happened like she describes it because Slash is the kind of guy nobody would ever recognize in a crowd, thus enabling him and his wife to approach her stealthily.

    (I’m being totally sarcastic)

  25. larryfine

    I’d knock the bottom out of that stuff…I love big girls

  26. Samantha Slopes
    qballextraction
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d call her a butterface, but I think that woul just make her hungry.

  27. Samantha Slopes
    Like a G6
    Commented on this photo:

    LOVE the pic of the whale in there. THAT RIGHT THERE IS WHY THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SITE ON THE FRIKKIN INTERNET! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET sam slopes SEE THAT ON HERE!

  28. Stella R. Twat

    Slash LOVES brunette, busty BBWs. This is no secret. If he and Perla have been having issues, then I’m not surprised that he’s been “talking” to other women who kinda sorta look like younger versions of his wife. He definitely has a type. What I can’t believe is that Perla didn’t beat Slash’s ass after kicking this woman in the stomach.

  29. Samantha Slopes
    Taylor
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear “Like a G6″ -

    That is not a whale, you douche-nozzle; it is a manitee. Christ almighty. Read a f*ucking book, not just the superficial all day long (no offense, Fish).

  30. ewr

    Sorry but I think she is hot.

  31. ally

    yes because it couldn’t be a mental disease at all, some people are fat because their METABOLISMS don’t work properly as other people, what about skinny bitches who eat a whole shit load and then don’t workout at all, what about them, are they horrible people too or do they get a pass. and by the way hate is hate. i grew up fat from the time was six, because stupid people like you and in my own family made me feel like i was a NOTHING!!! i’ve since lost weight by not listening to the BULLSHIT. and though i know i will never be thin, size 4 or 6, because my BODY wont let me have THAT CHOICE! i can be happy at a size 10 or 12. the real reason why people are big has much more to do with the fact that they “can’t put the fork down”. why don’t you stop being a ignorant ass like the rest of the haters educate yourself, have respect and maybe you will get some in return. shame is the biggest cause for obesity, not fast food, shame. thats all i have to say! SO PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT BITCHES!!!

  32. Samantha Slopes
    Horndog
    Commented on this photo:

    Personally,I would love to shoot my load between those big tits.I think a lot of you guys out there saying you wouldn’t,are either in denial or full of shit.Hell,when the lights are off and you are shooting your wad,who really gives a fuck?Let’s be honest.

  33. Samantha Slopes
    Horndog
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a whole lot of Rosie.She does have a cute face though.She could actually be hot if she lost weight.

  34. Samantha Slopes
    still hit it
    Commented on this photo:

    i dont think she kicked her…just tripped over the rolls dragging on the floor

  35. Laurali

    The size of this girl isn’t the issue. Slash basically cheated. This girl knew that it was wrong and continued to do–whatever. Black, white, fat, thin, male, female–all is irrelevant. Bottom line Slash and this girl were scumbags that got caught. His wife has reason to be mad. Although physically attacking her is just white trash behavior.

  36. Samantha Slopes
    Horndog
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay people,let’s state the extremely obvious here.She is very overweight.But can we have a little kindness and compassion for another human being?I actually think she has a really cute face.

  37. Samantha Slopes
    Horndog
    Commented on this photo:

    I shouldn’t have started my first post the way I did.We all have flaws.

  38. Samantha Slopes
    Horndog
    Commented on this photo:

    I just wanted to apologize for my first post.I am a better person than that.

  39. Samantha Slopes
    Trent Steel
    Commented on this photo:

    So, out of curiosity, I went to her website.

    *burns eyes out with antibacterial nuclear boiling lava acid*

    Ahhh, much better.

  40. Kit

    Hey Amanda go on a diet

  41. Samantha Slopes
    Horndog
    Commented on this photo:

    No Sadface,I’m just saying you don’t have to be a jackass toward someone just because they are overweight.Would you like people calling you names and making fun of your flaws.That’s all I am saying.

  42. Samantha Slopes
    Alex
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m studying ancient art and the 1st forms of female beauty looked just like her. Google The Venus of Willendorf. So maybe it’s somewhere in every man’s psyche to be attracted to such a large woman.

  43. avan

    Why doesn’t that nauseating man-chick kick Slash in the balls?

  44. Samantha Slopes
    Lee
    Commented on this photo:

    I am offended that a pic of a manatee was put in with the others. She may be heavy yes, but very pretty. As a bbw myself, I think that this belittlement is not necessary. I won’t be coming back to this site. If you have not been with a bigger woman don’t knock it because I have no complaints.

  45. lulu

    Oh well. It’s been my experience that those who feel the need to make fun of others are unhappy in their own lives. It makes them feel better to put others down. That’s just the way it is.

    And you cannot judge by dress size. You can be a size 10 and be skinny depending on your body type and how active you are.

  46. aine

    Oh and btw everyone, it’s pure lunacy that you would call KK or CH “fat.” This Slopes chick is super obese, no question.
    However, saying that everyone should have a body type that 5% of the population has is absurd and totally unfeasible.
    It’s simple: if your BMI is in acceptable range according to medical professionals, you are fine – and I strongly urge you all to check out a reliable source like The Mayo Clinic’s website for the information on that.
    I think a lot of you would be surprised to learn what is actually healthy.

    Also, a woman who is 5′ 4″ and a size 4 would be reasonable.
    A woman who is 5′ 11″ and a size 4 would be dead.

  47. Katie

    Hey GravyLeg – Why don’t you post a pic of yourself. I mean you must be SOOO beautiful, you must be a 11 on a scale from 1-5 with all the shit you’re talking. You must not have 1 pound of fat on you. All you boys that have posted (yes I said boys because REAL men would not talk that way) why don’t you get off your mommy computer and out of her house and GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • KayKay

      Real men DO talk like this and real women DON’T look like a killer whale. You don’t have to be skinny….but you also don’t have to be a huge obese blob of a women either. There IS a difference between a woman with curves and a huge porker. Besides, if you put yourself out there in the spot light by being a fat ass model….then yea people will make fun of you. There is a reason why men are attracted to beautiful, thin bitches instead of fat-ass porkers. Its easy as hell being a fat ass but its much harder to work out and be healthy. She should not be a role model and making people think its ok to be obese. Its never ok to be obese. This causes a lot of health risks and its not ok.

  48. Ronald McDonald

    Quit talking smack about my woman!

  49. KayKay

    There she blows!!!! Aaaargh the white whale is still at large!

    What no Moby Dick jokes? I’m surprised at you people.

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