This is Johnny Depp’s Girlfriend?

Despite covering celebrities for years on here, I never once looked at Johnny Depp’s long-time girlfriend Vanessa Paradis because I just assumed she was some sort of crazy hot model. And then I saw these. At this time I’d like to apologize to you, the reader, for not making enough jokes about Johnny Depp being the world’s largest heroin addict because clearly that’s the case. I almost feel like I should resign, but then I remembered this is the Internet where such concepts as shame and integrity have no place or meaning. On that note, Jennifer Aniston is up next. Stick around. *spins penis like a propeller*

Photos: Pacific Coast News