This Has To Be a War Crime. Has To Be.

November 16th, 2010 // 60 Comments
The Situation Bristol Palin Abstinence PSA

In probably the most ominous and foreboding sign of the end of days, teen mom Bristol Palin and one-man date-raping machine The Situation were apparently chosen to be the new faces of abstinence in a new PSA from The Candie’s Foundation. I can only assume Jenna Jameson was busy that day, and/or this is one of those Funny Or Die videos. Actually, that’s gotta be it. Bristol Palin and The Situation promoting abstinence? Ha! You Hollywood hipsters and your improbable sketch comedy. God love ya.

WARNING: Contains sincere use of the term, “B-Palin.”


    • Randal

      This is what you’ve allowed to be posted before nights end, FISH?


      Britney, Heidi or even Christina would suffice. I do hope you mention Christina when she stars on Dancing With The Stars next week, by far the most watched TV series in entertainment history.

      May tomorrow hold better results for each and everyone of us.


    • kayk

      Yep, That sounds about right.

      Who’s for kool-aid!

  1. Lucy

    good lord that just wouldn’t end. They couldn’t have had less chemistry if they tried — which is interesting especially because “Sitch” is -usually- attracted to chubby unattractive girls with no personality.

    • hgfjhgj

      I support Inter/racial relationships! I believe love has no color!

      :) _____blackWhiteFlirts.c-/0m _____ :)

      This club is for those of us that don’t discriminate! This is to all my people who don’t care about somebody’s ethnic background, just how they are on the inside.

      If you want to find a sincere Inter/racial relationship. If you are serious. Come and join us!

  2. Cock Dr

    That’s nuts!
    What exactly is “the candie’s foundation” anyway? Isn’t “Candie’s” a shoe company? Someone should get to the bottom of this enormous goof.

  3. That Guy


  4. Philip Henderson

    I wonder if this is a real backstage moment or if it was scripted. It seemed like a real moment and you can tell that they really like each other even though they have kind of different opinions about sex.

    I like them both. I hope they are both on TV more. I would watch a show with Mike or Bristol as an actor because they are so natural and likeable.

    • You are NOT Randal. You are NOT funny. Randal is. Quit stealing people’s gimmicks. Wannabe!

      • Fake Randal

        Fuck you cunt. I am the new Randal so get used to it. New and heterosexually improved. I suggest batteries and a larger vibrator. Isn’t Glee on tonight, granny?

      • Philip Henderson

        You are correct about my identity, but based on the presence of my actual name this feat does not warrant a cookie.

        You are impolite, but that’s probably due to the point below.

        You are confused about the intention behind my comment. I genuinely enjoy these people and their chemistry. I made the comment in the hopes that they might see it, or that some producers might see it and give them a chance with thier own show.

        Finally I forgive you and don’t intend to start a flame war. I just want my actual intention understood.



      • mud butt

        snarkyscreenname was right!

    • Being genuine is misleading and confusing. It’s almost more confusing than you actually liking either of them. Granted, I can’t bring myself to watch television anymore, so I have no basis for with which to hate them except nothing intelligible has ever been a result of either person’s actions. So, sorry I fussed at you.

      Fake Randal still sucks dysentery-infected goat’s ass.

  5. nooooooooo

    What the hell is going on with those inflated cheeks? They pan to her face and each time I expect her to be gnawing on an acorn.

  6. IP Freely

    How exactly is that Situation guy promoting abstinence? From what I can tell from their website they are are about preventing teenage pregnancy through whatever works for you whether it be through abstinence or using birth control. No one can really argue with that.

  7. ihateemo

    They could have saved the terrible “SITUATIONSITUATIONSITUATION” script and just run a 30 second spot that said something like “if you get pregnant as a teen you’ll end up looking like Bristol Palin.”

    Or they could re-run the Knocked Up promotional posters (see and replace Seth Rogan’s face with that of Mr. Situation.

  8. ihateemo

    Also, I bet he begged the director to let him wave those Magnums around.

  9. The Situation talking about abstinence? While we’re at it, let’s ask Hitler to do an ad for Katz’s Delicatessen.

  10. Craig

    The world isn’t ending, it’s just getting really really stupid.


    This ad is the most hypocritical ad ever made. Abstinence being promoted by a knocked up, unwed, underage mother (who’s mommy promotes abstinence nationally but makes an exception for her daughter) and a greasy douchebag who tries to date rape every drunken chick on the show he’s on. Oh yeah; they’re paragons of virtue, these 2. By the way, bristol “I’m stupid” palin’s “don’t do as I did” attitude only works if there’s bad consequences that are shown. Seeing as how she lives a life of luxury & earns $20k on the talk circuit (talking to cult like Tea Party drones, no doubt), that’s not going to discourage a single young person from humping hot & heavy.

    The day that I choose to take advice from these 2 hypcritical fucktards is the day that I cut off my own johnson & mail it to Perez Hilton…

    • Fools

      Surely you people realise that this country is being run by non Americans. They do not have our interests in mind, only theirs. Their plan is succeeding by leaps and bounds. We are being dumbed down, our jobs shipped out, a stupider and more subservient race being brought in, monstor debts forever and ever to their bankster compatriots, ever wars for profit, …

      • Oh you fool you..

        Stupider and more subservient than Americans? Dude, Americans are in the middle an economic disaster and begging the rich to take more of their money. This lame PSA *is* the face of America.

  12. im sure its a goof settle down

  13. chuck

    Was it me or were they swaying an awful lot? and the camera was swaying an awful lot. And speaking of awful … this should be an ad for getting a vasectomy. No one wants to have kids like them … that would be a bad situation.

  14. PolleN112

    Myyy Braaaaiiinns!!!! Aaaaagggghhh!!!

  15. Lady Blah Blah

    I’ve said it before, Devo was right, the human race is devolving.

  16. I hate spammers

    Please fuck off, spammer.

  17. Don't look

    I looked at both of them, and MY EYES! THEY BURN!

  18. tromba

    Was going to write something – sorry – MUST VOMIT!!!

  19. D-Money

    Oh my Lord. That was just terrible. And Bristol has put on some weight. Must be eating too much Salmon and Bear up in Alaska.

  20. Promoting abstinence through irony. I don’t see a problem here.

    In other news, look for Snooki to promote diet & exercise.

  21. downwithmuffins

    his fucking acting is a situation.. i wonder if this was filmed before or after they banged it out..
    the situation: “all this talk about not having sex is making me want sex!”
    bristol palin: “you know thats not my thing sitch.. just kidding.. im totally dtf!”

  22. Brooke

    If this is a good example of a bad example, reverse psychology sort of thing, then it could totally work:

    Do you want to be on Dancing with the Stars looking like a bloat-mouthed hypocrite? Do you want to be known as the guy whose claim to fame is giving his pickle to the Snooki Monster? Then stick to masturbating until college.

  23. wim

    well, he looks like it.

  24. Nancy

    I was confused as to who I hated more.

  25. The rough perspective

    Same essence to Dice Clay weeping on TV. “weep weep weep, the broads hates me cause Im too vulgar”

  26. sallysallysally

    my ears and eyes are bleeding

  27. Racer X

    I lol’d.

    /these two should make a Rom-Com.

  28. Actually Broke is right, this could work … in a few different ways.

    - One look at these two makes both men and women lose all sex drive, thus promoting abstinence.

    - The whole “If you turn into a teenage slut you will look and act like these two douchebags” angle would work.

    - The “If you want to look like you have diseases” angle can work.

    - Lets not forget “Just because I’m a loser and an idiot doesn’t mean you have to be one too” angle. Sort of like the:

    - “I’ve sinned and ruined my life like Jebus so you don’t have to” angle.

  29. JollyJumJuck

    I had to stop this part way through. Could not stand to watch it any longer.

  30. Bill Flowerpot

    This made me laugh, cry and vomit all at the same time.

    Surely a picture of Snooki and a pickle would have a better effect of promoting abstinence.

  31. Al

    “The STDation” looks like Leisure Suit Larry.

  32. HELLO hello hello

    I hear an echo…

  33. gigs

    Aside from all the other things that are wrong with this absurdity, the video clearly promotes the idea that girls are expected to stay pure until they’re married, while guys are not expected to live up to that same standard.

  34. stevebeagle

    turtle headed nozzle

  35. Katie

    Bristol Palin seals her abstinence promise with a “for real, for real, for real.” Because this time, she’s super serious.

  36. Ricks_Daddy

    TEABAGGERS and The PALINS should be charged with fucking War Crimes against Humanity!!!!

  37. Dread not

    The Situation and B-Palin chosen to be the new faces of abstinence makes perfect sense. If these two hooked up, the fuckin’ Kuato that these two would produce will scare the pants right back sexually curious teens

  38. suck it

    watching this video made me feel awkward… then i couldnt stop laughing….

  39. devilsrain

    Every single person on DWTS has lost weight as a result of the several hour a day practice sessions. Bristol somehow managed to gain weight. Good job

  40. nono-1

    Come on, man – that’s harsh – has anyone ever accused him of rape?

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