Things I Learned From Courtney Stodden’s Valentine’s Day Bikini Photos

February 15th, 2012 // 257 Comments

Because the world needs a new Heidi & Spencer-esque couple with a hint of statutory rape now more than ever, here’s Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchinson posing for a Valentine’s Day-themed photo shoot that is not only disgustingly hilarious, but probably the most insightful look into their relationship since he banged her in a pumpkin patch making your moms all jelly. No longer is their love a mystery wrapped in an enigma, but instead, it’s blossomed before our very eyes into the kind of romance Shakespeare would’ve written himself had his testicles actually dropped, that doily-wearing poof.

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Photos: Coleman-Rayner

superficial

  1. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    C’mon. I eat like that ALL the time.

  2. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    GROSSSS
    Commented on this photo:

    I’M JUST WAITING FOR A BONE IN HER BODY TO SNAP. THE WAY SHE POSES IS RIDICULOUS. SHE HAS TO BE SORE FROM ALL THE DISTORTION.

  3. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you think the photographers just fu** with her? You know, suggest all these insane shots because like Mikey, she’ll do anything? She looks like she’s gagging on that mouthful! She has NO developed concept of what makes HER look sexy. Ugh.

  4. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel sorry for her. Sure she has a great body and an ok face, but she just looks and poses like a skank. It makes her look cheap. If she’s got a brain I wish we could see it, but the porn-style posing is too gross and distracting.

  5. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Pedophiles
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like they didn’t sell those shoes in a large enough size for her

  6. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    mk-ultra at its trashiest :-D

  7. Bontot

    Rapidly rkeocted to fame???? No, you in the lame media keep shoving these ZZZ listers upon us. Hate to break it to you, but I read/hear more about these losers on this site than in American loids .

  8. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    JJ
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh look Oldie and The Tramp! Jesus that bitch is just nasty! It’s like Clamydia in heels!

  9. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    brosephina
    Commented on this photo:

    THESE COMMENTS ARE HILARIOUS.

  10. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    laalaa
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the Walmart version of strawberries and cream……. Rediwhip. LOL Sad thing is she really thinks shes is hot.

  11. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    narp
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh well somebody had to kick Pam Anderson out of the slut saddle…

  12. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Angela Naomi
    Commented on this photo:

    i thought she was a vegitarian why is she eating pasta with mince???????????????????? The fucks going on

  13. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    NeeNee
    Commented on this photo:

    nothing like a lil girl trying to look older than what she really is with her fake boobs and padded bras and with an old fart for a husband, jeesus, don’t worry courtney your hours in the sun is already aging you by the decades honey, just keep doing what you do best and look like a worn out hooker before you hit 20.

  14. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    what a slut and whore she is!

  15. henron

    She is way hot in person. I saw her at the beach the other day.

  16. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    fandy
    Commented on this photo:

    The catch of the day is rank, oh I mean skank

  17. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    fandy
    Commented on this photo:

    The Old man and the C (lassless skank)

  18. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Ragel
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not her beauty, it’s pmuuiscoors way she dresses and conducts herself at this age is inappropriate for any town! And unfortunately, it appears that her parents are more concerned with fame, then their daughter’s well being. She’s way too young to be married to anyone, moreover to a man twice her age. Let a girl be a child, time flies too fast anyway.Tanisha

  19. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Mick
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone else at the restaurant vomited and left.

  20. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he has just had it. Bored and over it. Oh, what the camera catches. He is probably fantasizing about stabbing her.

  21. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Just give her a little push, Doug. Just a little one and she will go right in the water. Probably never learned to swim. You know you want to.

  22. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    The hat makes her look like a real captain.

  23. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    horrible girl
    Commented on this photo:

    that hand looks as if he wants to get something from her ass or to snatch her ass cheek :)))

  24. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    PIper
    Commented on this photo:

    Tooms is at it again! Quick, someone call Mulder.

  25. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    PIper
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s so in love with his pasty white cash I mean legs.

  26. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    PIper
    Commented on this photo:

    As if this couldn’t get any classier… it’s a Playboy shirt. Sorry sweetie, you’re a little too old for Heff.

  27. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    TFT fx text
    Commented on this photo:

    hopefully her OLD man bought her a dress and some new shoes for valentines day.

  28. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    KYLE
    Commented on this photo:

    i WANT THAT GARLIC BREAD. HOLY SHIT IT LOOKS GOOD

  29. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Kyle
    Commented on this photo:

    DAT GARLIC BREAD.!!!
    Hot damn, I’m drooling. everything is awesome in this picture except the background behind the garlic bread. lets just crop the bottom left quarter of this pic

  30. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Kyle
    Commented on this photo:

    the garlic bread is turning me on

  31. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Captain and Tennille???

  32. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to take Courtney for a test drive.

  33. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks alot like Hulk Hogan and his daughter, Brooke

  34. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Put It In
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is Courtney Stodden and Doug?

  35. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Put It In
    Commented on this photo:

    She is so not sexy!

  36. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess there are some sectarian feeding techniques involved there, ones based on starving the subject in order to manipulate the subject more easily. Otherwise I cannot explain myself why she is so thin while acting so dumb with that creepy guy at the same time.

  37. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t get the “she’s a man” comments. She may the stupidest thing alive but I’d do her without a second’s hesitation.

  38. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Practicing for her Vivid audition I see

  39. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Starving Kid commercial: the skank version

  40. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    This is so cute. I saw a daddy cardinal feeding his baby this way last week. Well, except he was vomiting in it’s mouth.

  41. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez. again?

  42. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn her! That’s the same outfit I wore to the office today. Now, it looks like I’m copying her!

  43. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    I spent Valentines Day having sex. And my mother didn’t have to sign papers saying it was OK. Neener, neener, neener, Courtney.

  44. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    It warms my heart seeing celebrities helping the blind.

  45. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    One more inch backwards and she’s going to shoot silicone all over his chest.

  46. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Stripper heels, nautical hat, and bikini to the waterfront while posing with a rose in their maw. Nothing planned about that, right?

  47. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Do it. Zoom in. Zoom in on the bottomless pit, so cavernous that no light can escape it’s STD-filled pull.

  48. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    neo
    Commented on this photo:

    Roses really smell like Poo-poo-poo!

  49. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    So...
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the deal with the arm band? She has it on in just about every photo I’ve seen. Also, does she ever actually DO anything besides sand around posing? Even in the “tennis” pics, all she’s doing is posing… What a poser.

  50. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Watch out...
    Commented on this photo:

    All those carbs are gonna go straight to her boobs

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