Things I Learned From Courtney Stodden’s Valentine’s Day Bikini Photos

February 15th, 2012 // 257 Comments

Because the world needs a new Heidi & Spencer-esque couple with a hint of statutory rape now more than ever, here’s Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchinson posing for a Valentine’s Day-themed photo shoot that is not only disgustingly hilarious, but probably the most insightful look into their relationship since he banged her in a pumpkin patch making your moms all jelly. No longer is their love a mystery wrapped in an enigma, but instead, it’s blossomed before our very eyes into the kind of romance Shakespeare would’ve written himself had his testicles actually dropped, that doily-wearing poof.

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Photos: Coleman-Rayner

superficial

  1. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    She really does love that arm bracelet.

  2. Sliver

    That guy is more interested in fruit than women.

  3. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    The trouble with being 52 is that after a while, the joke stops being funny. And probably Doug is tired of it, too.

  4. tlmck

    As Courtney would say “I am sitting in a dinghy on a thingy”.

  5. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    there’s no butt to grab…

  6. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    She saw Lady and the Tramp once…when she was little…a few days ago!

  7. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    rach
    Commented on this photo:

    why are their no drinks? water even??

  8. Dramatic Puddle

    Please stop posting about this skank. Your readers keep asking you to not put shit about her on the site, but you keep doing it. Is Radar Online paying you guys for posts about her? The bitch is 40 if she’s a day, and I think we’re all a little tired of nobodies being made famous for a lot of nothing.

  9. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Really?
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s giving a teenager alcohol? Oh, that’s how he got her to marry him.

  10. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Really?
    Commented on this photo:

    My shih-tzu mix makes the same face.

  11. Is it just me, or does he kind of look like a “What could have been, Corey Haim” and she looks like that girl from Teen Mom 2, with the twins and the mom who has downs syndrome.

  12. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Olliehay
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like he’s cramming it into her so hard it’s arching her back. It could be the cover of a murder mystery.

  13. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    lol I love how she is able to scratch the backs of her knees while standing.

  14. Public Relations Expert

    I don’t think they have even had sex. It was all just a pr stunt.

  15. Oh thank heavens…for a moment there, I thought a holiday might pass by without slutty pictures from Courtney…

  16. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    God is Blackeats livers
    Commented on this photo:

    Toom’s eats livers I thought not fricken strawberries? (X-files)
    Those are Cracker legs indeed, pale,skinny and hairy!

  17. Utterly vomit inducing. If they want to be some freak couple fine. No one cares. No one wants to be you. No one is jealous of you. No one wants to see any parts of your relationship. He has negative zero sex appeal in his unabomber sans hoodie outfits. She looks more pathetic and used up every time they stage these desperate cries for intervention photo shoots. They have no relevance to anyone except all the gossip hounds in her home town if any. Save your money and my eyes from anymore torture.

  18. i was watching green mile the other day. love that movie. didnt clue in that he is in that movie and I always have hated him. NOW after this, i hate this ugly fuck even more. what a douche bag. as for her. i dont even know what to say, shes got some mental issues. Must of been abused as a child, mentally. fuck

  19. WhiteChick

    This is what happens when genetic modification goes horribly wrong..

  20. JJ212

    Please stop burning our retinas with this…oh, and feel free to eradicate Kardashian posts as well.

  21. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she shit all over her feet???

  22. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Now this makes Lady and the tramp look Bad!

  23. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Such a attention Whore!!!

  24. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the F*** eat’s like that or just has a picture taken like this?? And she wonders why people call her a Whore!

  25. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Dream On Who… There’s no way your a Playmate, and if hefner, offers money I sure aint buying it!

  26. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Skeets
    Commented on this photo:

    “She has no fucking clue how shirts work.”

    And that’s the way we like it.

    P.S. MOAR

  27. BE

    Well – for starters – trolling the tweens is apparently all Doug can manage. Generally gay guys trying to act straight need someone young and dumb to be the beard – I’m guessing all the adult women he approached retched (sorry – passed) on the offer.

    Even if he is (somehow) straight – every creepy thing they’ve done contradicts it. Doug can afford implants but not clothes? I’d guess her parents gave in on the concept that marriage at least gives her some rights when she decides to dump his lameness in about 5 years. When she grows up a little (and catches him in bed with the mailman – of course all bets are off is her IQ is below 85 – I’m starting to wonder..

    But she’ll always have their memories (ie pics) of being the mostly naked Barbie doll that he liked to dress up and put in sleazy poses.

    I’d like to meh but I can only Yech!

  28. BE

    The only people this sleaze is “making envious” is child pornographers and their customer base.

  29. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Grace
    Commented on this photo:

    Her spray tan always (ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS) looks jacked up. It’s never uniform around her knees, ankles or wrists, that’s why it looks like she has shit on her feet. Ugly skank.

  30. Christina Aguilera

    These are HILARIOUS! Thanks for the laugh lol

  31. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Him: “If I could get an erection, I would cum right here.”
    Her: “If I could feel that, I would let you.”

  32. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the hardest thing he has ever put in her mouth

  33. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    he looks like a lesbian

  34. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Laughing@itall
    Commented on this photo:

    Awwwww… won’t anyone notice she isn’t wearing AS much makeup..? And with the shirt on, it IS more clothing that she usually wears too… Of course the only thing she wears that isn’t too small for her is her shoes (why DOES she wear shoes that are too big for her anyway?!?!?), but it is a start… right??!? (insert hopeful face here)

  35. mean tina

    I’ll say it, I like Courtney Stodden’s punk rock heart. Her famewhoring right into the spotlight was completely organic– all on her own. God bless the little minx and can’t wait for already-know-it-to-be legendary reality show. Please don’t procreate.

  36. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    “The pictures are done. You can take you hand of my ass now.”.

  37. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    MoonBeam
    Commented on this photo:

    He is just sooo creepy when he smiles. I actually shudder when he does. gross.

  38. me

    why does she always look like she’s trying to poop on somebody or something? yuck

  39. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    eewah
    Commented on this photo:

    bice cheap ass spray tan. creepy & weird.

  40. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh. These two just gross me right the fuck out.

  41. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    He gets to have a wife AND kid all in one person and by the looks of it she tries to save him money by not buying anything that looks over $10. That’s a bargain!

  42. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    boing
    Commented on this photo:

    nice paraplegic legs!

  43. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    jesse
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank you for these pictures. I have no clue who these idiots are but I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time.

  44. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Um WTH is she trying to do, if it’s look sexy, she FAILED!

  45. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she insist on wearing that stupid armband circa 1990′s all the damn time!

  46. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    cia
    Commented on this photo:

    They want a reality show, I bet.

  47. anonymoose

    Who the h*ll are these creepy/hideous middle-aged nobodies?

  48. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Trash!

  49. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    sickened
    Commented on this photo:

    This makes me sick. She’s not mature enough to have decided to be with a 50 year old

  50. Courtney Stodden Bikini Valentine's Day
    girl dylan
    Commented on this photo:

    Showcasing her talent for deep-throating flaccid things one noodle at a time.

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