Things I Learned From Courtney Stodden’s Valentine’s Day Bikini Photos

Because the world needs a new Heidi & Spencer-esque couple with a hint of statutory rape now more than ever, here’s Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchinson posing for a Valentine’s Day-themed photo shoot that is not only disgustingly hilarious, but probably the most insightful look into their relationship since he banged her in a pumpkin patch making your moms all jelly. No longer is their love a mystery wrapped in an enigma, but instead, it’s blossomed before our very eyes into the kind of romance Shakespeare would’ve written himself had his testicles actually dropped, that doily-wearing poof.

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Photos: Coleman-Rayner