Because the world needs a new Heidi & Spencer-esque couple with a hint of statutory rape now more than ever, here’s Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchinson posing for a Valentine’s Day-themed photo shoot that is not only disgustingly hilarious, but probably the most insightful look into their relationship since he banged her in a pumpkin patch making your moms all jelly. No longer is their love a mystery wrapped in an enigma, but instead, it’s blossomed before our very eyes into the kind of romance Shakespeare would’ve written himself had his testicles actually dropped, that doily-wearing poof.
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Photos: Coleman-Rayner
It’s only a hint of statutory rape, since Courtney is 32 years old.
I’ve had enough of this “she’s only 17″ PR crap – I say prove it. Cut her in half so we can count the rings.
that idea deserves some kind of award!!!
Unless it’s called ‘Lady is the Tramp’ I’m really mixed up how this is supposed to work.
Courtney demonstrates how to make an expensive boob job irrelevant by showing off her nasty, blotchy legs.
RuPaul’s legs are sexier. BWA HA HA HA HA HA!
Cracking me up!!! I was wondering what was up with her legs, they’re so weird looking.
I was actually thinking last night that it had been awhile since I had heard of this beast. And I was desperately hoping we were over her. Guess not.
Same. Seriously, leave this shit on the Celebuzz site.
The only way this twat will be relevant is if she goes into the Porn business which seems to be where she learned how to make “O” faces.
Were you thinking her name while looking in a mirror? Dare you to do that three times.
Looks like someone’s mother didn’t teach him that strippers are for throwing $1 bills at, not for marrying.
Olivia Wilde has dissapeared. Did Jason Sudekis eat her?
Olivia should never be discussed in an article about a disgusting famewhore with man legs.
I need you to hide my tantelizingly seductively streaky orange feet under your pasty white leg. XOXO. I love Jesus ~ Courtney
Not enough alliteration to be Courtney.
Those are NOT the thighs of a 17 year old.
I know, right? She wears those damn classless heels all the time. you’d think her legs would be very toned!
I’d bang that 40yo stripper, yeah I said it
So long as you know what you’re getting into …
Totally looks like she is doing the ol’ “lift ass/thigh/leg and let fart escape” routine…
I still don’t know who the target audience is for these photo shoots they keep making. Is it for gay dads who are fantasizing having sex with their daughters from their failed heterosexual marriage ? Because Doug comes off as a total queen. I’m confused.
It’s for whoever will look. I don’t think either one of these pathetic losers has the intelligence to create or follow any sort of actual plan for success. At this point, it’s all about “Look at me! Look at me!” and hope that someone, anyone, pays attention. “Target audience” is beside the point.
1. Skeezy-looking relationship
2. Skanky-looking broad
3. ???
4. PROFIT!!!
Look At Me Everyone! = LAME
she looks like she’s straight out of David Lee Roth’s California Girls video.
I’m still not convinced that this isn’t a giant Andy Kaufman-esque joke that Damon Lindelof is pulling on us.
“Courtney honey, if I don’t pick up after you the city will give me a fine. They have strict doggie poop laws”
oh boo!.. I just read the caption.. it seems Fish already had the same idea!
it concerns me that this was conducted so close to my home…
Is your name P. Sherman?
Just keep swimming.
…what?
nemo shouldn’t be brought into such trash
You should tell security that these two are sneaking onto private boats.
They’re gonna pull an M Night twist on us and reveal that everything they’ve been doing has been some bizarre performance art piece, and that she’s really 36 and he’s hasn’t become the incarnation of his Looney Bin Jim character from Punisher War Zone, and by doing so they’ve pulled back the curtain upon humanity’s obsession with youth, superficiality, pseudo celebrity, and everything that these pictures represent.
Right?
Because they can’t just be about a moron and a horny old man, can they?
That’s what I’ve been wondering, but i often have high expectations of people, meaning I don’t expect anyone to act completely soulless.
Stop having such high hopes of humans
I had no idea that someone could give strawberries VD.
I beat she’s a total freak in bed. Like, insatiable.
And I’d love every second of it. I admit it.
I bet she hates sex. If she liked it she would be with a man that would make use of that said sex.
She could be some kind of insane chick who loves to flaunt her body but hates the idea of anyone actually doing something to her.
“I beat…” Well, that Freudian slip says it all, Deacon.
lol, I’d beat her too!
Wow…glad to see Jennifer Aniston is still with her man.
isn’t that supposed to be predigested and regurgitated for her? Or at least squeezed from his prostate?
Someone needs to giver her “sexy face” lessons. Because what she thinks is a sexy expression is somewhere between “high on ecstasy” and “extra chromosome”
Hahahahaha. :)
She probably thinks she’s the first women to try and incorporate sticking her tongue out into a come hither look.
Sadly, it just makes it look like she’s trying to dislodge some broccoli.
Best line ever! T
What the FUCK is she doing???
I JUST said that before I scrolled down. Clearly thats what everyone was thinking.
Because bimbo is always better with a side of garlic.
Am I the only one who loves these two because they’re so mind-bogglingly ridiculous? They seriously crack me up.
No, there are more shallow minded idiots out there who will keep them coming back. Seriously, go to the zoo and watch a couple apes have sex; it’s the same thing.
I hear you, Lucy. They’re the replacement couple for Speidi. God knows who is going to replace these 2 when their time is up – going to be very hard to top the act that topped Speidi.
Looks like the Special Olympics have finally graduated from just giving hugs at the finish line.
Cankles and Skankles …
“Courtney, quit trying to get out of the high chair or Daddy won’t make the choo-choo sound.”
LOL
Get used to that view, darlin’
Jeebus, talk about low rent. 70s decor, beat-up tables and chairs, scratched floor, and a whole lot of empty tables and chairs for an audience. You can see the parking lot in the background; they’re obviously at some strip mall joint. Not a bad thing per se — I’ve had some great food at hole-in-the-wall places — but if they’re determined to market themselves (or Courtney, at least) as “classy,” they’re going to have to make more of an effort.
Im pretty sure you can catch herpes simply commenting on these pics. Goddamnit…
I’ve already got herpes. Ha ha! Oh….
“See Courtney, all you have to do is vigorously rub the neck of this thing and it shoots all over. Now let me get Mr. Happy out and you can show Daddy how you do it.”
OK – this isn’t creeping me out any less now then it did the first time I saw the “story”. They are both freaky I think, and what’s with the “I’m psycotic” glare all the time?
Photo taken two minutes before the owner of the boat showed up and screamed at them to get back to work: “Those barnacles aren’t going to scrape themselves!”
oops – psychotic. You frickin’ knew what I meant anyway!
It’s also where she keeps the boat anchor.
That pose makes me think of anal sex
What bullshit from the superficial: everyone knows you can’t rape your own wife.
Texas much ?
Ew. Generic famewhore.
Dingy in a Dinghy.
I think the frozen Walt Disney would probably spin in his cryogenic capsule over this.
Why? Is one of them Jewish?
ZING!
Yeah, that girl better keep wearing those playbot t-shirts ’cause that’s the only actual gigs she’ll ever get once she turns 18…
Courtney is sitting like that so we can’t see Doug’s complete and utter lack of any sexual arousal whatsoever.
You know, because he’s obviously gay.
Doug is a little bit of a pansy, but I don’t think it’s fair to call him a “lady.”
Nicely done!
Never saw someone eat spaghetti doggy-style. Maybe they eat sausage & cannoli 69 style.
i will follow this story until the mystery of the armband until is solved.
Elementary my dear Watson, elementary……..
So I guess he’s the lady, then?
At first I thought she only had one shoe on. Then I realized that I had just mistaken his leg for her leg and that he wasn’t wearing shoes. Then I realized that I couldn’t tell the difference between 70 year old man leg and supposed 17 year old girl leg. Ahoy polloi
Yuck! I just looked again and her feet actually look bigger than his. Wtf?
He’s confused to see so much clothing on her.
Tommy Lee already did this. Originality please.
“Ohmygod, remember when that video came out? I went right online and—I mean, Tommy Lee? Who is that? Sex tape? I was in diapers when that all happened!”