They all get girlfriends.

Should I have said Spoiler Alert?

Here’s Pauly D and Vinny of Jersey Shore posing with their “girlfriends” in Miami because apparently MTV’s going to shoehorn in a storyline that doesn’t involve these kids forgetting what their nicknames are and/or drunkenly banging Cuban immigrants as they wash ashore. “I’m pretty sure I’m Cannoli and you’re Andy Garcia Jr. Now help me tip this raft over, dawg, because you know I gots to be gettin’ laid.”

(As for Snooki, everyone finally acknowledges she’s a sea lion and drop her into the harbor in hopes she’ll find her real family. She’s killed three days later by the propellor of a speedboat. There was Cool Whip on board.)

Photos: Splash News