These Take Me Back

July 2nd, 2010 // 115 Comments

So remember how Britney Spears was looking somewhat decent the other day? Welcome back to a land called “Reality,” my friends.

Here she is leaving Starbucks in Calabasas yesterday where she reminded all of us she’s never more than one java chip away from shitting in our faces because she custom designs her clothes for elegance not function. I wonder how many times her bodyguards have to lie and say she looks hot before pulling straws to see who gets to be the one shot in the groin with a pistol.

BODYGUARD 1: But, dude, you got to be shot last time.
BODYGUARD 2: The straws have chosen- Oh, God, she’s stripping in McDonald’s PlayLand again. Attack pattern delta!

Photos: Fame, Splash News


  1. tim

    Britney is fat and ugly!

  2. Elle

    ok she looks like she just fell out of bed and said I want a frapp threw on some socks and shoes and ran out the door. She should have her own little Starbucks coffeshop set up in her mansion considering how much she drinks the stuff. And so when she fell out of bed to get her frapp she wouldn’t have to worry about stupid paps bothering her. Or if not that find a Starbucks with a drive thru. sheesh.

  3. Elle

    Seriously, crack will f&ck you up or whatever she was doing screwed up and fried her brain.

  4. lori

    This seems to be the story of all the trailer park kids Disney picks up, cleans up and then turns into manufactured pop whores. When they aren’t attractive anymore, they get thrown out and don’t know how to act without their handlers. Same things gonna happen to the Twilight “actors”, although they have a head start because they already look like roadkill.

  5. Frank
    Commented on this photo:

    its a fine line between pop star and trailer park trash

  6. assman

    Oh, now I bet you she will take it up there, mmmmmm, who cares about nuttin else, she will let you, you know she will, so it might be a lil nasty……..

  7. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The photographer is looking at her thighs & laughing, just like I am.
    Oh yeah, Britney’s really cleaned up these days!

  8. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s man enough to take a turn between these powerful thighs?

  9. zoomzoom
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m usually one to stick up for Brit, but sometimes I can’t help wondering how she manages to look like such rubbish with all that money…

  10. Dany
    Commented on this photo:

    Never drink starbucks coffee or you would look like her

  11. Jay Jeffries


  12. captain america

    sitting on a huge dildo can be painful.

  13. Bert


  14. Pffft
    Commented on this photo:

    This lousy twat has way more money than I’ll ever have, and she can’t even be bothered to brush her hair before stepping out the door. I probably don’t even qualify as middle class and I manage to take care of my hygiene before running out for errands or whatever. How about you trade with me, Brittney?? You fit the typical look of my income level far more than I do!!
    Poor little rich girl. I’m so sad for her life. NOT.

  15. Pffft

    *slaps Britney so hard her head spins ’round and her eyes twirl in their sockets*
    Straighten the fuck up, will ya?!?!?!
    Seriously, this shit isn’t funny anymore.

  16. Commented on this photo:

    OMG my wife is out at walmart with my 10 year old daughter buying this outfit. Got to keep ahead of the fashon trends and lady ga ga cant beat this!!

  17. Alli Watermelon

    I don’t know WHAT the hell she is wearing, but she is SNEEZING you morons. Taking that many frames a second makes it look like she’s just making dumbass faces for a long period of time when in reality, she’s not. For once.

    • Jay Jeffries

      Uh, when normal people sneeze, they cover their nose/mouth out of learned courtesty. Ol shitney happily passes her germs on to others. She’s still the psycho snatch flashing shitney of old; just give her a chance & she’ll flash the squirrel…

  18. Lari
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG you didn’t realize why this is in the news? SHE IS WEARING A BRA!
    2012 is coming, everybody.

  19. baxi69

    NOBODY is sexier than Britney Spears! She is a been my fantasy gal for two decades and counting. To have that Southern Belle go crazy on me, sit on my face with her perfect tush, squeeze my head in her amazing thighs and force me to worship her moist socked-feet would be almosttheaven for me!! Please continue to follow and snap pics of this angel on earth. WOW!

  20. Hannibal King
    Commented on this photo:

    She is Vigo, you are like the buzzing of flies to her.

  21. Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    i don’t know….i’d still fuck this crazy cunt.

  22. Brooke
    Commented on this photo:


  23. Makin' Faces

    If you watch the actual footage on, she’s making faces at the camera. She might as well make the best out of an annoying situation. She knows it’s a picture and she’s aware that it will be posted all over the web so people can bash her and call her ugly and trashy. I’m thinking she could care less whether people think she’s hot or not. Why should she? She makes all the money she needs and has millions of fans. A few people calling her ugly or judging her on a message board probably means very little to her. Gosh I love her! :) Rock on Brit!

  24. Nero

    “HAPPY 4TH OF JULI Y’ALL!!!” I can read lips but i’m not deaf!

  25. fap
    Commented on this photo:


  26. liz jordan

    what a load of shit. This article is pathetic. Complete trash journalism. Who wrote this crock? Heard any REAL news lately?

  27. debbie
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me or does this look like a chubby 5 year old having a temper tantrum ? Good thing Federline stepped up and is raising those little boys,cause looks like little Brittany needs some “time out”.

  28. what the?

    I don’t understand. How can she look like this:

    And then a few days later, have all that chunk?!?

  29. Vito
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s a disturbing visual:

    Your dream has come true and you’ve finally gotten Britney Spears into bed. Everything is going swimmingly and suddenly she starts breathing deeper and deeper. Then she says, “Omigod, I’m gonna cum.”

    As you look at her fondly you realize the faces in the first six pix are what she looks like having an orgasm that registers on the Richter Scale. Then you realize maybe she’s not having an orgasm afterall. Maybe she’s taking a dump!

  30. Poor brit brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Britney is a childish exhibitionist mentally unstable woman… is totally normal, when you re famous worlwide since you re 17 and the only thing your parents wanted from you is to sell your body to the whole planet in order to get “rich and famous” , but hey, teenage years are gone and is time to move on !! … I hope someday she ll get the peace of mind she needs to put her life togheter, be a mother to her children, be a mentally stable woman it is very sad to mock someone that is clearly mentally ill…

    Just a little advice, Britney, if you dont like the paparazzi following you around, why don t you wear a burqa?? or send your body guards to get you your coffee ?? or dress a little less like a horny teenager and more like a decent 29 years old woman that you are… yes, don t forget you re no longer a teenager, you re a mother for christ sake, put yourself togheter soon, because not only you will damage yourself forever, you ll damage your children too !!!!!! No child loves a mentally unstable slut mother !!!!!!!

  31. Jack
    Commented on this photo:

    I still don’t see what people see in this white trash wierdo.

  32. GIGI
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Britney! Hollywood, and Fame has changed her. She is still Beautiful, but would look Gorgeous if she Dressed, and Acted more Womanly! They all start to Dress like that, and get Crazy! Why can’t her Parents help her? I know Britney is Generous, and has helped them, so now Parents,ime to step in again, she needs you, she obviously cannot do it herself right now! i feel sorry for these kids, and angry too ,because we never had the Priviledge, and Oppurtunities they have. We worked hard for every $. Get help before it is too late, the Boys need their Mom! GIGI

  33. Brittany

    Can you please post a chewbacca picture next to this one of Britney Spears, the resemblance is UNCANNY!!!

    Its eerrriee, but I guess that would make a lot of sense

  34. Michael J
    Commented on this photo:

    Britney just discovered how horrible the new Frappuccinos are at Starbucks (Starbucks changed the mix a couple months ago and now it’s really bad).

  35. KC

    This chick is a trainwreck. She had so much talent & threw it away-& for what men? I have no sympathy for her. She’s made one horrible decision after another & she had the world at her doorstp. It’s hard to have pitty for someone who throws away such talent. Hard to face it Brit-but you reap what you sew. Sorry about your luck, but you’ve noone to blame but yourself. Grow up, be a mother to those 2 innocent boys you brought into this world. Your selfcenterness will & is your dowfall.

    • Jay Jeffries

      Correction: she never had any talent. She had a huge marketing machine behind her that forced her down everyone’s throat, convincing the weak minded that posing = talent. She can’t sing without autotune, she doesn’t write songs, produce them or play an instrument. She used to have a hot body but that was over 10 years ago; she’s now bullnecked, flat tittied, saddy assed, cellulite thighed & mentally retarded. She’s now a cautionary tale and that’s it…

  36. Commented on this photo:

    She’s still cute. O.o

  37. Jinko

    That will be Miley in a few years.

  38. Puddiin'Taine
    Commented on this photo:

    SHEESH!! She is just running out quick for a cup of coffee! What exactly SHOULD she be wearing to be completely acceptable to YOU? I think she looks insanely cute. But, remind me to stay away from your view when ” I ” am running out to Einstein Bros. quick in the morning. If this isn’t acceptable, my quick morning errand outfits are probably the end of the world. Why does she “NEED HELP”? haha. That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve read all day.


  39. sunshine
    Commented on this photo:

    Herpes hurts, especially when the little bitty shorts are hiked so far up the hootch.

  40. Kaz

    She craying she need any body fuck and hold breast,.

  41. Slig

    Nasty and sult

  42. sickoflin

    her and Lindsey need to open a re-hab center together and call it ShatteredA**es

  43. John
    Commented on this photo:


  44. Rhatik Darkio
    Commented on this photo:

    insert a ultimate warrior joke on those pics

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