There’s a Jon Gosselin sex tape

November 12th, 2009 // 69 Comments

Let’s not act like this wasn’t always one booty hunt through Ponderosa away from happening. Via the National Enqurier:

Jon’s bodyguard Thomas Meinelt has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC’s lawsuit against Jon, and The ENQUIRER has learned Meinelt claims he saw Jon snort cocaine many times, and that he’s watched Jon’s secret sex tape!
“Tom told me that Jon was secretly videotaped having sex with a woman in Los Angeles in October, and he’s seen the tape!” said Stephanie Santoro, Jon’s former flame and family nanny.
“Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him.
“He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!”

Well, this explains all the spiritual awakening and self-parodying that’s been going on lately. Although I was kind of hoping it’d be for something a little more original than a sex tape. Like Jon Gosselin secretly trained his kids to be an elite squad of dead hooker disposers. Or he gave his social security number to Michael Lohan for a shoebox of Lindsay’s old bras which, in hindsight, I probably shouldn’t rule out. Keep that one open.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. LovinJon

    This is a bunch of crap! Will evil Kate stop at nothing to try and make herself look like the better person? We love Jon!!

  2. Divole

    Deadly boring…

  3. Dyslexic Cnut

    LMAO @ #47 Damnit you’re correct!

  4. 1derwoman

    God, I’m so sick of this fat, ugly DOUCHE! I only came here to leave the comment of OH GOD NOOOOOOOOO!

  5. sexchill

    Is it really? I never heard of that! Frustrated by being still single and not finding your Mr. Right? I know a hot and interesting place for wealthy people and their admirers named Billionairepal.com where I have met my boyfriend. You may take a look.

  6. Oh no, not another celebrity sex tape!!!

  7. Exotica

    Less fat ugly douchebags and more shirtless, well built hunks!!!

  8. CaptainMorgan

    Is it me or does this guy look like another douche bag we all know (in pic.#1)?

    Kinda like the Sham-Wow creep. Both like cheap and easy women (read unattractive).

  9. Jenna

    I’d actually buy a Jon Gosselin sex tape. That would be fucking hilarious. I’d throw a party, get everyone entirely inebriated, and then bring on the horror flick. :-D

  10. grossedout

    Coke heads=loser.
    No wonder his family is gone to shit.
    Most humans can’t handle $$ power or fame- look what this IDIOT did with his.

    Get money – get big head- -do drugs-get head from dumb chicks- instead of focusing on family and fixing relationship- think I’m too cool- show whole world I am just another idiot with a ego and dick that makes my decsions for me in stead of using my heart and mind to do what is right and best- for me, my family and my kids.

    Good going sport!

  11. megan

    i like how his tie has penises on it… suits him perfectly

  12. Amber

    No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no, please don’t let this be true!

  13. ARRGGHH

    Thanks a lot, ‘Fish. Now I’ve got THAT image in my head.

  14. jon gosselin is a choad

    Stupid grinnin’ ass motherfucker.

  15. What an ass

    How much money has this douchebag wasted and he can’t even get a real fucking suit? And if you choose to wear a sport coat, don’t pair black with blue pants, you stupid putz. Grow up and get a clue, you atv ridin’, dirty t-shirt wearin’ youth wannabe.

  16. Busdriver Stu

    STOP KILLING MY SOUL

  17. d

    maybe he should snort a little more and then he wouldnt be so chunky

  18. Alice

    I’m so grossed out right now….I need about a gallon of brain bleach. It’s bad enough that every time I look at his 8 kids I’m reminded that Jon Gosselin got it on with somebody. Now the act itself is on tape? There is no god.

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