There’s a Jon Gosselin sex tape

November 12th, 2009 // 69 Comments

Let’s not act like this wasn’t always one booty hunt through Ponderosa away from happening. Via the National Enqurier:

Jon’s bodyguard Thomas Meinelt has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC’s lawsuit against Jon, and The ENQUIRER has learned Meinelt claims he saw Jon snort cocaine many times, and that he’s watched Jon’s secret sex tape!
“Tom told me that Jon was secretly videotaped having sex with a woman in Los Angeles in October, and he’s seen the tape!” said Stephanie Santoro, Jon’s former flame and family nanny.
“Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him.
“He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!”

Well, this explains all the spiritual awakening and self-parodying that’s been going on lately. Although I was kind of hoping it’d be for something a little more original than a sex tape. Like Jon Gosselin secretly trained his kids to be an elite squad of dead hooker disposers. Or he gave his social security number to Michael Lohan for a shoebox of Lindsay’s old bras which, in hindsight, I probably shouldn’t rule out. Keep that one open.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Que

    Que not exciting/surprising y also fat.

  2. Que

    Que gordo. Ya.

  3. That is f&cking disgusting.

  4. abby

    “snort cocaine”

  5. Katie

    First to say first. Ha.
    He is so nasty! I can’t understand why even homely chicks want a piece of that. Woof!

  6. Katie

    First to say first. Ha.
    He is so nasty! I can’t understand why even homely chicks want a piece of that. Woof!

  7. Katie

    First to say first. Ha.
    He is so nasty! I can’t understand why even homely chicks want a piece of that. Woof!

  8. Savalas

    Sex tape? At this point, sure, why not?

  9. Katie

    oohhh, that wasn’t supposed to happen. I only hit it once! Sorry i posted half a dozen times.

  10. i bet this guy can cut a mean bonsai tree.

  11. Sport

    The more he partied the more Cocaine he used?

    Wow – brilliant revelation there. I wasn’t anywhere near his hotel and I can confirm this statement does, in fact, define partying.

  12. joesmo

    I’m not sure what’s worse seeing the Gosslins everyday or the Pratt’s. Either way all I really want to see is nsfw slips……

  13. Champ

    Come on joesmo#12 – the answer is within you…
    The obvious answer to all is “there is nothing worse than the Pratt’s.”

  14. THE assman

    Kind of gross but I must admit the THE assman would hit it

  15. Andrea

    where is this tape?? I would like to see it…what? a girl can’t be curious?

  16. kk

    #9

    the first part of your comment is what john said to kate when she got preggers with the sextuplets…

  17. Rough by popular demand

    I imagine the haus fraus are jumping for joy…

  18. kk

    #9

    the first part of your comment is what john said to kate when she got preggers with the sextuplets…

  19. Dave ain't here, man

    Jesus Christ, no.

  20. jj

    LOL. this is hilarious. That guy is hideous.

  21. EricLR

    You guys need to stop making fun of JGoss! Do you have any idea how many mediocre skanks would have walked out of Walmart with no one to go home with–had it not been for the selfless efforts of this heroic man?!?!?

  22. uhh

    Not that I give a shit about this guy, but isn’t it really illegal to video tape him having sex without him knowing?

    …isn’t it also really illegal to pay someone for sex, even if it’s for someone else?

  23. Zee Brat

    Do not want.

  24. CXCMYK

    I’M SO SICK OF HEARING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE.

  25. nahhh

    That’s quite a story.

  26. wtf

    do people actually believe this slut? jesus..

  27. JackSpratling

    Could you imagine a Kate Gosselin sex tape? She’d be all bossy.

    The only thing less sexy than a Jon Gosselin sex tape would be a sex tape of Chewbacca and Perez Hilton.

  28. chosen_darkness

    Gross.

  29. Han(d) Solo

    Chewy and the Princess?!?!

  30. whatever

    I’d do him for free!

  31. LMAO

    #10 that is funny

  32. OH BOY

    My kids are watching the flintsones right now and it made me see how much Jon looks like FRED!

  33. Jay Popeski

    Can’t you idiots just leave the Gosselins alone already? So he made a sex tape, big fucking deal. I used to pose for gay men’s magazines and I’m totally straight.

  34. randel(l)

    I’d do that for a dollar!

  35. MR

    Suppressed Medical Records (File 5100-13465/001)

    St. Catharines, Ontario (Pearson Park)

    - Privacy Commissioner of Canada (Sect. 25,26,28)

    - C.M.H.A/C.A.M.H. – Brock University

    Further details:

    http://bleacherreport.com/users/10698-updated_bio_bwbok

  36. me

    who wouldn’t want a go at that for a dollar?

  37. Chick

    LOVE HIM!!!

  38. blah

    i don’t really believe this..but if it’s true…

    part of my soul just died.

  39. Julie

    Does this really shock anyone…

  40. Gilbert Gottfried

    Thanks, I always wondered what I would look like after some Kenny Rogers style plastic surgery.

  41. JustJess

    This event is so ordinary – I could barely stiffle my yawn before wanting to go take a nap…

    Lawd…

  42. JustJess

    This event is so ordinary – I could barely stifle my yawn before wanting to go take a nap…

    Lawd…

  43. JustJess

    And who in their right mind would want to see someone like Gosselin fucking?? Two fat, homely people having awkward sex on camera = gag.

  44. stoplookingatme

    Jesus these pictures are terrifying. He looks like he dropped some weight and aged about 15 years as a result. {shudders} Can’t believe no one else has commented on that — except the veiled reference to Mr. Miagi… well played #10!

  45. 66 yr old virgin

    I must be crazy because all of my fantasies lately have involved this man in some way

  46. Dank24

    who the fuck dressed this guy, Stevie Wonder?

  47. Niles

    Is it me or this guy looks like a Korean Corky from life goes on?

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  49. pdxfacehole

    Fat face douche. He’s…..Gary Coleman but Asian and longer legs.

  50. Thanks for the information . But i think this is totally worthless thing . This is publicity stunt nothing more than that .

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