There’s The Katy Perry That Matters

After almost an eternity – two weeks – of sequestering her talents to the marital bed, Katy Perry performed at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Wednesday night in full, breasticular fashion. While some might consider this a calculated, yet risky maneuver on her part, others, like myself, recognize it for the witchcraft it is and demand Russell Brand stone her at the city gates lest he no longer be deemed a man of God. (Hey, nice rack, but don’t think I forgot all that giant breasts you said.)

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WireImage