There is no Mischa Barton, there is only Zuul.

September 22nd, 2009 // 39 Comments

Mischa Barton is about to crazy her way out of a job, according to Page Six:

A source on the set of her CW show, “The Beautiful Life,” says Barton shows up to work so bleary some days that it holds up filming. One day, says a source, “she was getting snippy with the director and kept demanding that someone make instant coffee for her. Often, she’ll stare at the coffee for minutes at a time and say, ‘Who will fix my coffee? I need someone to fix my coffee.’ “

You know what I like about Mischa Barton? You know what you’re getting into upfront. All the batshit’s out in the open, so there’s no surprises. Unlike some women who pretend to be sane until you sleep with their sister. Then suddenly they’re throwing your Xbox out the window and threatening to break up with you. Cuckoo.

Photos: Fame

  1. boogermeister


  2. vladislav

    Best title ever!!!

  3. vladislav

    Best title ever!!!

  4. Ray Charles, Jr.

    I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!

  5. Ray Parker, Jr.

    I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!

  6. Long-dong-silver

    Great Title/Caption!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (made my day!)

  7. GTBurns

    Lindsay Lohan said this woman was partying too hard. That right there means you have a SERIOUS problem, when once total mess thinks you are a bigger mess then them.

    These “stars” need to realize that they are not as HOT as they think they are. Marylin Monroe was still able too get work despite acting crazy and being drugged out because she was still a HUGE box office DRAW. Lohan, Barton, and Megan Fox? Three of them put together could not fill an entire megaplex they way Marylin could.

  8. What a dumbass

    GTBurns – September 22, 2009 5:14 PM

    Lindsay Lohan said this woman was partying too hard. That right there means you have a SERIOUS problem, when once total mess thinks you are a bigger mess then them.
    That’s an EXCELLENT point. This chick obviously has entitlement issues. Working on a series & earning Millions of $ a year is a PRIVILEGE, not a right. I can’t remember how many pictures there are of her smoking dope in her car right outside the studio where she was working. She needs to pull her head out of her cellulited ass, or she’s gonna get bounced off the set for good. Given what a no talent and how doped up & broke she is, she’ll be giving blowjobs to annonymous strangers in dark alleyways soon if she doesn’t fly straight…

  9. necessary ROUGHness

    ””””’Where ma coffee mother effers”"”"”" *eyes rolling in the back of the head*

    lol That has got to surpass Hosselhoff’s diving for rum laced burgers in hilarity…Cant believe no1 bother to tape this…

  10. aja

    I love Mischa, she is a classic beauty and interesting, and an underrated actress

  11. Leeja

    This is no f***cking Mischa, there is only Zuul?

  12. Leeja

    Mischa’s becoming less defined as days go by
    Fading away
    And well you might say
    she’s losing focus
    Kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how she sees herself

  13. Golf clap to superficial for the title!

  14. thumbs up

    she beautiful

    ok crazy… but just saying …

    pretty hot.

  15. el ces

    I’ll always love her.

    Lawn Dogs…

  16. thumbs up

    Lawn dogs?


  17. ray

    Sta-Puft is hotter. Just don’t cross the streams.


    id stick my key in her gate


    ruff ruff

  19. Enough

    Assholes always want others who work for them to make their coffee. Early on in my career, I had a boss who had me make his coffee for him everyday; however, he ending up paying for it 1000X over if you know what I mean. Some people are so stupid…….. I sure he was one of the first ones to get H1N1 (pig flu)…. HA HA HA HA…….

  20. Mischa

    So, who makes Harvey’s coffee everyday? Oh, sorry, I thought this was TMZ.

  21. LALALA



  22. Danklin24

    No one cares about Mischa.

    Jesus this site is starting to look like one big fucking ad for fat chicks. I cant click anywhere on the screen without a gigantic black fat chick popping up on the screen.

  23. Mama Pinkus

    the gal needs to take a year off and get some serious help

  24. This girl’s problems stem from the low self esteem from a crappy body. I would think lipo & workouts wouldn’t even help her pear shape cellulites. She’s also lazy & British. They don’t like to workout & get veneers as much as Americans.

  25. Al

    she has a weird face and an ugly body.
    done with her.

  26. SuGarDadKiss

    Seeking your sexy partner ON ===SuGarsMinGle.CoM==

  27. James Summers

    Her O.C. co-star Rachel Bilson was always hotter.

  28. anybody know who she is?

  29. wilmer valderrama

    This would be my first comment ever after reading for about 3 years. I’d just like to say this is the best story title ever. I refuse to read anything but the title for fear that she is indeed not Zuul.

  30. EricLR

    See kids, this is what happens when a narcissist becomes famous, gets all the adoration and attention she knows she deserves, then has it all taken away and ends up broke. Next stop-batshit crazyland!

  31. Rhialto

    What does she mean with fixing the coffee? Milk and sugar and stirring?

  32. Darth

    Don’t these bitches have assitants?! Just make her the coffee the way she likes it.

  33. Dalek Leader

    “But I don’t want to go among mad people,” said Alice.
    “Oh, you can’t help that,” said the cat. “We’re all mad here.”

  34. PsyKo

    hey, she can look good sometimes…

  35. Dread not

    The real Mischa split her veins wide open a month ago. THEY covered it up. The same THEY that make Glenn Beck actually believe the insane shit he says, so THEY can keep their five o’clock time slot alive with an entertaining buffoon. But that’s not Mischa. It’s a fuckin’ robot. Dude in the penguin suit is controlling her remotely.

  36. doa

    i predict she will be the next “accidental” od

  37. doa

    i predict she will be the next “accidental” od

  38. Hey! Look at the eyes, please. They are an 8 wonder of the world.

  39. very simple and very sweet lady.

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