The Superficial News

December 4th, 2008 // 36 Comments

Dusted off an old feature today just for the hell of it. Think of it like a delicious pizza with all your favorite toppings – provided you enjoy the taste of Amy Winehouse slathered in Aniston sauce. Bon appetit:

- Britney Spears‘ cousin Alli Sims says Britney isn’t fit to tour. But still fit to buy her a car; how ’bout it? [NY Daily News]

- Blake Fielder-Civil makes love to Amy Winehouse in her hospital bed before being carted back to jail. Wins coveted “Most Effective Way to Make a Passionate Prison Shower More Enjoyable Award.” [The Sun]

– Sean Avery apologizes for calling Elisha Cuthbert “sloppy seconds.” Says she’s more like a “beautifully recycled flower – that you can have sex with.” [People]

- Jennifer Aniston admits to wanting a baby and “longs” for motherhood. Somewhere, John Mayer is performing the world’s first guitar string vasectomy. [EW]

Photos: WENN
Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse was found dead in her Camden Square apartment Saturday ...
Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse's inquest may start afresh as coroner resigns
Winehouse's relatives said they were still absorbing the implications of the news and were seeking legal advice. In October, Suzanne Greenaway ruled that the soul singer, who was found dead at her London home in July, had died from accidental alcohol ...
Amy Winehouse coroner resigns, family seeks advice
LONDON — The coroner who oversaw the inquest into the death of singer Amy Winehouse has resigned after her qualifications were questioned, her boss said Wednesday — raising the possibility the investigation may have to be held again. Winehouse's ...

Comments (36)

  1. mimi | December 4, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    First again you piles of shit.

    Reply
  2. Anexio | December 4, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    Xomg brit butiful and everything here. she is the top of all the pop stuff and dnanceing. everyone else is nothing compired to her. brit newist abum is the bes t by far and will outsell all of the copiests who steal from her all the time.

    Reply
  3. mimi | December 4, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    second too, I am such a winner

    Reply
  4. Ted from LA | December 4, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    Damn mimi you spoiled my comeback. She’s lookin bangin here as usual.

    Reply
  5. mimi | December 4, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Third rhymes with turd.

    Reply
  6. I'd knock her up | December 4, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    I’d take Aniston over that bag of bones, veiny, brother making out with whore Jolie

    Reply
  7. libtard | December 4, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    Does the Fish have a new writer? It’s much better than normal.

    Reply
  8. Concerned for mimi | December 4, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    Mimi I have been reading your various posts of late and can’t help wondering if you are on some serious medication or are you a triple amputee or serious scarred inside or out. What is making you say all these crazy things to a group of people that could care less what you have to say?
    Have you tried going outside this week?
    A pen pal?
    Booze?
    Adding larger vibrators to your collection?

    Reply
  9. D4P | December 4, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    Hard to believe women like Aniston expect men like Mayer to stay with them after the child/children arrive. But then, maybe they don’t: maybe they just want the kid(s) and don’t care what the guy does after they get what they want.

    Reply
  10. someguy | December 4, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    Re: The walking corpse and the nasty hospital sex…

    Uh, I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit.

    Reply
  11. hotels | December 4, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    She is so fat.

    Reply
  12. jennyjenjen | December 4, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    @8.. Mimi is growing increasingly more combative and hostile. She hasn’t taken your suggestions but she has welcomed 7 more cats to her home. She’s a proud new momma..

    Reply
  13. blp | December 4, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    I just watched “Britney: For The Record” and feel the need to say Leave Britney alone! Leave her aloooone! She can’t even go out for a walk with her friends or go shopping when she wants. Leeeave Britneeeeeey alooooone!!!

    Reply
  14. Andy | December 4, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    “Hard to believe women like Aniston expect men like Mayer to stay with them”

    Agreed. Especially if by women like Aniston you mean bitter dried up castrators and by men like Mayer you mean Tom Cruises.

    Reply
  15. p0nk | December 4, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    maybe it’s just a combination of weird posture and weirder outfit, but she really looks like shit here.

    /praying for mimi

    Reply
  16. blp | December 4, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    Oh, and what the fuck are “cheese grits?” Her dad was making them for her and said thats what southern girls eat for breakfast. It looked like porridge (or vomit) wwhich he added processed cheese slices to. What the fuck is wrong with you people?!

    Reply
  17. Sport | December 4, 2008 at 4:26 pm

    Elisha is fucking hot.

    Reply
  18. blp | December 4, 2008 at 4:27 pm

    Britney, Elisha and Jennifer look splooge worthy, Amy not so much.

    Reply
  19. p0nk | December 4, 2008 at 4:32 pm

    i mean seriously, wtf? black leather girdle up past her belly button, and that red … whatever that is … rip-away turtleneck football jersey. If you need to hide all the cellulite britBrit how about just wearing normal clothes.

    Reply
  20. Barry | December 4, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    Oddly enough, if you stick your finger up each girl’s ass and then put it in your mouth, Amy’s doesn’t taste the worst.

    Reply
  21. p0nk | December 4, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    barry, i’m just going to have to trust you on that.

    Reply
  22. Jackson | December 4, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    It looks like she is wearing Kim Kardaskanks girdle lol!

    Reply
  23. ummm...yeah | December 4, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    ALL I can say is: WTF! OMFG!!FISH! You just keep getting worse!
    mimi, lay off mixing meds and booze ok?

    Reply
  24. Kostitsyn | December 4, 2008 at 7:49 pm

    For the love of all things good and decent, do NOT allow Aniston to multiply. The kid will be the ugliest, whiniest thing this side of, well Aniston of course.

    Reply
  25. janice | December 4, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    this is stupid. you’re becoming like the rest of those stupid sites………

    Reply
  26. kt | December 4, 2008 at 8:23 pm

    there are some really immature people on here…..

    Reply
  27. honkeybrown | December 4, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    What’s up with this format? Was the Fish just bought by dlisted?

    Reply
  28. lindary | December 4, 2008 at 9:25 pm

    She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

    Reply
  29. My goodness goodness deary me . . . | December 4, 2008 at 11:31 pm

    . . . but Jen looks good there. I’d just like to pry those legs apart a bit, scooch right up, and just kind of lower Jen down on my . . .

    Mmmm, baybeh . . .

    Reply
  30. moobs | December 5, 2008 at 12:35 am

    Britney isn’t long away from the “Mom jeans” look.

    FUG!

    Reply
  31. Rachel | December 5, 2008 at 2:57 am

    Want a date with Britney Spears? Of course yes, but mostly only can be aspired in spirit. Take more choices into consideration. Beauties, handsome boys, sexy babies and millionaires,etc, come together and date at ^_^***Tallchat.com*** ^_^

    Do not let your opportunity flow. Now, it’s in your hand! What more can you expect?

    Reply
  32. Magma | December 5, 2008 at 3:09 am

    The new writers (owners?) suck. Bring back the old Superficial!

    Reply
  33. lindary | December 5, 2008 at 8:35 am

    She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

    Reply
  34. gerard Vandenberg | December 5, 2008 at 8:38 am

    Just unbelievible that this WHORE is still accepted by most americans, folks!!

    Reply
  35. JPRichardson | December 5, 2008 at 11:25 am

    Seems she thinks she is cute….

    Reply
  36. herbiefrog | December 6, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    we gave her a repeiev >

    not responsible for how she interprets it… : )_

    speak out

    Reply

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