The Superficial Ketchup

May 18th, 2006 // 230 Comments

Sorry for the lack of posts. I wasn’t feeling so great and a doctor told me sleeping until 3 PM would be the best solution. And who am I to argue with medicine?


Britney Spears seems awfully glad that a creepy man with a mustache is trying to kidnap her baby. And I’m pretty sure an orange muumuu isn’t considered an acceptable outfit by any standards.


  1. playahater101

    YEAH!!!!! New posts!!! I hope that isn’t Brit’s new nanny. That’s the guy who saved that poor baby from his mother dropping him.

    As for Heather Locklear and David Spade, is anyone REALLY surprised?

  2. Shagggy

    and to think Brit is gonna have another..she should be spayed

  3. waterranger

    I didnt know John Stamos had any friends. Come to think of it, I didnt know he was still alive. Last I heard, he was trying to get the Olsen twins to appear on his show before it got canceled.

  4. sld

    “As if Brett Ratner wasn’t pervy enough, now he’s saying he wants to photograph Lindsay Lohan naked.”

    Excellent! We’ll finally get to see the Fabled Freckly Firecrotch.

  5. waterranger

    * by ‘friends’, I meant ‘personal life in general’

  6. BarbadoSlim

    Is she wearing a house?!?!? jeeesus fucking christ woman!!

  7. BarbadoSlim

    Oh, and I have just received word, nothing John Stamos says matters, nobody cares about John Stamos…not even John Stamos.

  8. BigJim

    Could Britney’s brat be smiling in that photo? I hear retarded kids smile all the time.

  9. Seneca Fell

    8- he’s either smiling or screaming. why is britney such a bad mother? that picture of her with her rollers in her hair racing down the freeway while the baby’s head nearly fell off made me so sad! it looked like she went out for the express purpose of trying to kill the baby.

  10. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Don’t hate, guys, the muumuu is from Jessica Simpson’s new clothing line, Lady Marmalade.

  11. junebug

    Spade and Locklear broke up?
    I was just a few weeks shy. DAMN YOU TEA LEAVES.

    Posted by junebug on April 18, 2006 01:06 AM
    Yah monkey that love stuff is great and all but this is Hollywood, and we’re talking about Heather Locklear, (who dated Tommy Lee for got sakes) I give them 2 months.

  12. BarbadoSlim

    Her canckles are FUCKED UP.

  13. Binky

    When asked for a comment Paul stated through his legal team : “O – Blaw Dee. O – Blaw Dah. “

  14. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    The Chinese (or whatever Asian language that is) on the bag translates, Stupid Bitch Just Got Screwed By Paying 2000 Dollar for Pants Made for 2 Dollar. That’s a rought translation.

  15. Feed_Me_Chocolate


  16. DuckBoy

    Britney looks SO CUTE and so does Sean P.

    I love them

  17. BarbadoSlim

    It’s good to see Britney spending money on quality security personnel. That guy just screams quality, from his excellent grooming to his formidable physique. Top notch!! hi-fives and kudos all around.

  18. junebug

    I love Brittany’s bruised up legs she’s sporting in her micro Muumuu. those are hot.

    John Stamos makes me uncomfortable. Like passing someone on the street you know is a child molester, it’s just not right.

    & how can Brett Ratner switch from a fat 40 something beached wale diva to LL? Mariah Carey is fucking nasty, she was cute in the 80s when I was in elementary school and she didn’t look like a fat plastic sex toy. SHe’s fucking nasty. But LL naked? I can live with that.

  19. Getitstraight


    At least he caught the baby!

  20. BarbadoSlim

    #19 yup, probably an ex-SEAL.

  21. prideofchucky

    Isn’t that Gibby from the Butthole Surfers? Ah, Gibo :(

  22. Binky

    Paul, 63, was a bit wary of his next birthday – and bailed before the second stanza. He thought ‘Will you still need me” would be far enuff in the relationship to switch songs.
    Eleanor Rigby had no comment.
    Also while ‘playing the role’ in Heather’s anti-sealing campaign Paul became a bit worried that Heather was taking his song, ” I am the Walrus. Too Too ca shooo” a bit too literally.
    Especially the “too too ca shooo”

  23. Fa Cube Itches

    16: Um, it’s illegal to love an infant. You might wanna go ahead and start filling out that Megan’s Law paperwork and get fitted for your ankle transmitter.

  24. lucycharms

    Britney really needs to try to work those tree like legs out alittle more before wearing anything that short not to mention orange…. Moo Moos should have stopped with Mrs. Roper (Three’s Company…. if I’m giving away my age).

    Brett Ratner is just nasty….. why is this man getting laid all over Hollywood again?!?!?… i know he’s a director… but I think he has to have his own rooffie(?) supply….I’ve seen dogs cutier than him.

    John Stamos….has stayed hot for his age…but I agree with the other comments… whats he done lately.

    David Spades luck runs out….. hope it was a nice ride.

    PS. I hope you feel better Mr. Superficial

  25. BarbadoSlim

    I can’t imagine what Ratner is going on about I’m pretty sure there’s naked pictures of Lohan in many a cellphone in the greater Los Angeles area.

  26. Italian Stallion

    I’m actually happy that you never see K-Fag or Britney ever holding the baby, I have a feeling Sean Preston might live to see 15 if this keeps up……..

    Why would Terry Hatchback want to make Ryan Seacrest cry? I thought Clay Aiken already accomplished that when he broke it off with him….or in him…..

    Ryan Seacrest singing the Killers:::

    “I’m coming out of the closet and I’ve been doing just fine.” “Gotta, Gotta, act straight, because I want it all” “It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?” “It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.” “Now she’s falling asleep and I’m calling a cab, would have gave her a poke, but i’m such a fag, now my stomach is sick cause I couldn’t give head.”

    “I’m thinking of Big Jims chest now, she takes off her dress now, making me hurl.” “I just can’t look, it’s killing me!!!!” “I need to go!!!”

    *Ryan leaves Terrys apartment*

    “Jealousy, turning fags into tranny’s, singing sweet lullaby’s, choking on those manly guy’s, but it’s just the price I pay, Destiny is calling me, open up my mouth real wide, cause I’m mister BrightSmile”

    *Ryan goes back in the closet with Tom Cruise*

  27. Fa Cube Itches

    Also, whatever happened to Britney’s “Ain’t nobody but me gonna hold my baby” bit? I’m convinced she’s got all of L.A. playing “hot potato” with the little guy – it would explain all those drops.

  28. M@ce

    M@ce no like chubby blonde carrot woman.
    M@ce think carrot woman smell like cheeze wiz and menthol cigarettes.
    M@ce SMASH carrot woman!

  29. I love how the assistant is holding the child and not the bags. What a terrible fuckin mother.

  30. NoraBalora

    agreed, 16. they’re so cute.

  31. NoraBalora

    agreed, 16. they’re so cute.

  32. CruisingForCock

    26 Priceless

    WTF, did Brit raid Hohan’s closet?

    SMASH is growing on me.

  33. BarbadoSlim


    …cheeze-wiz, menthol cigarettes and dirty feet.

  34. Mooserepellant


    Tom Cruise… won’t come out the closet
    Why won’t he… come out the closet
    Please… come out the closet

  35. DaNiGuRl

    Well, i gotta tell you, i’m a little confused. I get People magazine weekly in the mail every tuesday and i’ve read multiple times that she thinks “being a mom is a full-time job” and she even said “she doesn’t want to have any nannies”. Well, so far she’s gone through 3 nannies and is obviously not a good mom cuz she dropped her kid, and if it wasn’t her it was one of her 3 nannies, she drives with him on her lap, and doesn’t know how to fasten him in a carseat. oh, not to mention if it’s a full time job then howcome 4 months after she had Sean p. she was trying to start working again. All i can say is there is a positive about her getting knocked up again…that gives us another 9-13 months of not having to hear any new music from her!!!

  36. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Stallion, that was fucking brilliant. And on that note, I bid you adieu. It’s 5 o’clock, so


  37. Ari

    At least Brit’s smiling at SP. That’s got to be worth something.

  38. Seamus Begonia Smell

    paul mccartney ranks up there with harrison ford as the oldiest of the Oldy McOlds that i’d do it with

  39. George

    Britney almost kill Sean Preston while leaving her hotel in New York City.

  40. smokeyrobinson

    for the dude in the photo:

    “I can’t stand it! I know you planned it
    I’m gonna set it straight, this watergate
    I can’t stand rocking when I’m in here
    Because your crystal ball ain’t so crystal clear
    So while you sit back and wonder why
    I got this fucking thorn in my side
    oh my, it’s a mirage
    I’m tellin’ Y’all It’s Sabotage!!”

  41. Fa Cube Itches

    Is that a promo pic for “Borat in America”?

  42. iambananas

    Wh does she look so happy when she’s unable to take good care of her baby? I know the facts, and she is not taking good care of him. It makes me sad.

    A couple days ago, she was driving her car along with the top down adn the sun beating down on him in L.A.

    HE IS A BABY WITH DELICATE FAIR SKIN! And I saw her at the beach on time with him in the sun with no hat!

    I don’t even want to (but have to) mention the NO CAR SEAT! She was afraid of the paparazzi? Okay, she was in the locked huge car… how can they take longer time to hurt her than it would take her to seat the baby properly? It was a lame excuse.

    And the nanny let him fall off his highchair? I heard Britney Spear’s mother telling the press that Britney lets NO ONE hold Prestion except her, K-fed and herself. Then they blame the nanny… well… HELLO YOU’RE HIS MOTHER! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING HIM FULLY, NOT THE NANNY!! That is, even if he didn’t make it up.

    She is just an unfit mother.

    As for the appearance… she looks good. She is very pretty and no one really has any right to say she isn’t… if they do, they are jealous.

  43. Sweetsens8tion

    at least she matched her orange dress with her sprayed on orange tan…

    Here there mocking her saying she’s wearing the same garb as those in prison..

    here are some more carrot girl pics of her

  44. Sweetsens8tion

    #37 are you retarded? you sure speak like you are

  45. iambananas

    Stamos: That

  46. iambananas

    Sweetsens8tion: Read the post before the last one… you’re an idiot. Get a life and stop obsessing over me!

  47. Fa Cube Itches

    Paul better hustle off to his barrister so he can get a leg up on Heather. *rimshot*

  48. BigJim


    We do not wish to acknowledge HWMNBN’s existence.

  49. BarbadoSlim

    She’s a cow because WE SAY she’s a cow GODAMMIT!!

    we are not jealous, just mean.

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